The Best 67 Helicopter Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Helicopter jokes. There are some helicopter airforce jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these helicopter helicopter pilot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Helicopter Jokes and Puns

Son In Iraq I killed 15 people.

Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic

Dad:Never said I was a good one

Did you hear about that mad cow disease?

A cow to another: "Did you hear about that mad cow disease? Makes cows go completely insane!" The other cow: "Good thing I'm a helicopter!"

What do you call a helicopter with no radar and no windows?

A Helenkelicopter.

Mad cow disease

Two cows were talking over the fence bordering their farms.

The first cow said "Have you heard about this mad cow disease, it's spreading really fast."

The second cow responded "What do I care? I'm a helicopter."

jokes about helicopter

Getting married next week

I told my fiance I'll set a date the day I see the Queen jump out of a helicopter.

A helicopter crashes in a graveyard...

the police recovered 300 bodies.

Two cows are on a field

one turns to the other and asks " are you worried about mad cow disease" the other says nope. The first cow, was astonished at the ignorance the other cow was showing and barked "WHY?" the second cow slowly turns and shouts "because I am a helicopter"

Helicopter joke, Two cows are on a field

Helicopter crash

A helicopter crashed today over a cemetery on the outskirts of the city. So far the authorities have recovered over 200 bodies.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

Two cows are standing on a hill....

One turns to the other and says "Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"

Two cows are standing in a field

...and one says to the other, "Say, are you worried about this mad cow disease going around?" And the other one says, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter! PFFFFFT!"

You can explore helicopter rescuer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean helicopter rescue dad jokes. There are also helicopter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter onto the White House lawn

He's carrying a pig under each arm. A marine who's there to greet him says, "Nice pigs, sir!" Clinton responds, "Thank you! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." The marine replies, "Nice trade, sir!"

An aviation enthusiast enters a bar.

He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."

What do you call a helicopter with a bad paint job?

A patchy gunship

Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border.

How did they train it to do that?

You've heard of "helicopter parents" but I had a "boomerang father".

He was meant to come back but he never did.

Helicopter joke, You've heard of "helicopter parents" but I had a "boomerang father".

Two cows are grazing in a field...

One turns to the other and asks "Have you heard all this talk of mad cow disease?"

The other replies "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter"

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Do you have any helicopter flavored chips?"

The Bartender says "No, we only have plane"

Mad Cow Disease

So two cows are talking in a field, The first cow says "hey man, you worried about this mad cow disease that is going around?" The second cow says "Naw bro, I'm a helicopter."

Breaking news: A helicopter has crash landed into a cemetery in Ireland

The pilots didn't survive, and so far local police have recovered 956 bodies.

Two cows are standing in a barn.

Cow 1: Hey, did you hear about the big outbreak of mad cow disease?

Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.

What's the highest you can fall from without dying?

Is not a question you want to hear right before your friend picks you up in a helicopter.

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.

The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"

The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"

The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.

"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.

The American turns around. "He killed my wife."

Two cows are standing in a field.

One cow turns to the other and says, "Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease?"

The other one looks at him and says, "Good thing I'm a helicopter."

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says "Hey, did you hear about the Mad Cow Disease? It's spreading pretty fast."

The other cow says "Yeah. Good thing I'm a helicopter."

Helicopter joke, Two cows are grazing in a field.

We sent prince harry to Afghanistan. Because when you want to teach them about democracy, you send them a prince.

...to shoot at them from a helicopter.

2 cows were standing in a field

One cow asks the other "Arent you afraid of getting Mad Cow Disease?"

And the other cow replies "Why should I? Im a helicopter"

Why don't helicopters fly in the morning?

Twirly.

A blonde crashes a helicopter...

A police officer drives by and exclaims, "What happened!?". She says, "It was getting cold so I turned off the fan".

Two cows were grazing in the field, when one of them says to the other, "How about that mad cow disease, huh?"

The second one says, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter"

A Blonde Crashes a helicopter

A passerby jumps out and rushes up to her and exclaims,"What happened!?". She explains,"It got cold so I turned off the fan".

Two cows are standing in a pasture. The first cow says "Hey have you heard about the mad cow disease going around?" and the second cow says...

"No, luckily I'm a helicopter."

A man walks into a convenience store

and he asks the clerk, do you have any helicopter flavored chips? The clerk responds, no, we just have plain.

A blonde crashes a helicopter

A policeman arrives shortly and helps the blonde out from the wreckage. "How did this happen?",questions the policeman. The blonde replies,"It got chilly so I turned off the fan."

Why did the Polish helicopter crash?

The pilot got cold and turned off the ceiling fan!

Do you know how the French came up with the word for helicopter?

Hey Look Up There!

Two blondes in a helicopter

Two blondes won a joy ride in a helicopter. As they reached maximum altitude one turned to the other and said "I hope nothing goes wrong, have they got enough fuel?" The other responded "I hope so too, imagine if they ran out, we'd be stuck up here forever!"

2 cows

2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?". The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!".

George Bush was sitting down at his desk during his morning briefing.

His chief of staff advised him that 3 Brazilian people had died this morning in a helicopter crash.

George sat there sulking in his chair and began weeping (uncharacteristically) to himself.

Sir, is everything alright? stated his chief of staff, to which George replied, How many is a Brazilian?

Two cows are standing in a field.

One cow says, Man that mad cow disease sure is scary isn't it?

The other responds, Yea it is, thank god I'm a helicopter.

A helicopter crashed into a cemetary

So far 2 survivors and 300 bodies have been found.

Donald Trump, Enrique PeΓ±a Nieto and Vladimir puttin are travelling in a helicopter for a top secret meeting when

Suddenly Vladimir Putin throws his beautiful secretary out of the helicopter.

Others:- Why did you do that?

Vladimir Putin :- too many beautiful women in our country

Then,Enrique PeΓ±a Nieto throws his tequila out

Others :- Why?

Enrique PeΓ±a Nieto :- Too much tequila in our country.

Donald Trump being anxious, throws Enrique PeΓ±a Nieto and exclaims"Too many Mexicans!"

Trump, Merkel and Putin are flying over the North Sea

Trump, Merkel and Putin are flying over the north sea with a helicopter. After a while Putin says "we have submarines that can stay under water for one week without refueling". Then trump says "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for a whole month without refueling!". Merkel can't think of anything and looks ashamed out the window. Suddenly a submarine surfaces in front of their eyes, a man steps out of it and raises his right arm and screams "HEIL HITLER WIR BRAUCHEN DIESEL!"

Helicopter flavored potato chips?

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

I walked into the store and asked "do you have any helicopter flavoured chips?"

The cashier says "no , we just have plain".

Two cows are standing in a field.

The first cow says to the second, have you heard about this mad cow disease? It makes cows go crazy and then they die .

​

The second cow replies, good thing I'm a helicopter.

WHAT DO WE WANT?

Low flying plane noises!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

Nnnnnnyyyyyyyyooooooooo...

\*ducks as the National Guard flies a helicopter over our heads\*

Two cows are grazing next to each other in a field...

One cow says to the other, "The news is so scary with all this talk of mad cow disease, it really has me worried"

The other cow looks over and says ," I'm not worried at all..... I'm a helicopter....."

Life is like a helicopter.

I don't know how to operate a helicopter.

Life is a lot like a helicopter.

I have no clue how to operate it.

So my dad served in Iraq

Dad: son in Iraq I killed 15 people

Me: dad you were a helicopter mechanic

Dad: I never said I was good one

(just for record my dad didn't serve in Iraq)

Two cows are standing in a field

The first cow says to the second have you heard about this mad cow disease? It makes cows go crazy and then they die .

The second cow replies good thing I'm a helicopter

Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to crash.

As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his ass. Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the hell are you doing, we are going to die!" Pilot quietly answers "there's nothing we can do, I'm just giving the crash investigators something to think about."

Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.

We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht.
Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.

Concerned when one of his most reliable workers doesn't show up, the boss calls the employee's home.

The phone is answered by a giggling child.

"Is your dad home?" the boss asks.

"Yes."

"May I speak to him?"

"No."

"Well can I speak to your mom?"

"No, she's with the policeman."

Alarmed, the boss says, "Gosh. Well then, may I speak with the policeman?"

"No. He's busy talking to the man in the helicopter that's bringing in the search team."

"My Lord!" says the boss, now really worried. "What are they searching for?"

"Me." the kid chortles.

Killer

A grandson asks his grandfather:

Grampa did you get to kill anyone when you were in the army?

Yes, I killed more than 50 men.

But I tought you were an helicopter mechanic!

Yes, but not a good one.

Where do Russian helicopter pilots keep their drinks?

In Akula

Two cows are standing in a field.

One of them says, "There's been rumors going around about a 'Mad Cow Disease.' Do you think it's real?"

The other cow says, "I don't care! I'm a helicopter!"

Two cows are grazing together.

The first looks over to the second and asks, Did you hear about the recent outbreak of Mad Cow disease?


The second continues his grazing, unconcerned. Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!

What do you call the meat from a cow that died in a helicopter crash?

Kobe beef.

How did the blonde crash the helicopter?

She was cold so she turned off the fan.

Life is like a helicopter

I have no idea how to operate a helicopter

I decided to turn off the overhead fan because I was getting cold…

I don't know why everyone else on the helicopter is freaking out so much!

Two cows are standing in a field…

One cow says to the other What do you think about the mad cow disease?

The other cow responds why should I care? I'm a helicopter

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman if he had any helicopter flavoured crisps...

A man walks into a bar and asks the barman if he had any helicopter flavoured crisps

The barman quizzically shakes his head and replies '' WE ONLY HAVE PLAIN"...

11 People on a rope

11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave.

Because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said the she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the helicopter copters puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working helicopter chopper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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