Helen Keller Jokes
129 helen keller jokes and hilarious helen keller puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about helen keller that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Helen Keller Short Jokes
Short helen keller jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The helen keller humour may include short helen name jokes also.
- Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"
- Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing
- What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater? That's the worst book I ever read.
- Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"... Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg" - Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if your name was nyuhddiaiahf.
- How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips? She was trying to read the waffle iron.
- "On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades" - probably Helen Keller
- Why did Helen Keller fire her maid? Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
- How did Helen Keller break her arm? You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.
- The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration. They called the song Helen Keller .
Courtesy of my adult daughter onto which my 'dad humor' has clearly rubbed off!!
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Helen Keller One Liners
Which helen keller one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with helen keller? I can suggest the ones about sally and homer.
- A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller. Because she's dead.
- Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead
- What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
- (OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone? Senseless violence.
- Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
- Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard? Neither did she.
- How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture.
- Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well? Neither did she.
- Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house? She didn't either.
- Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"
- How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.
- What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.
- Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple? Because she heard it through the grapevine...
- Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she.
- What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
Bad Helen Keller Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad helen keller jokes and even better bad helen keller puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors.
- What do you call someone who's bad at reading and playing music? Helen Keller
- That movie was so bad... ...only Helen Keller liked it.
Amusing Helen Keller Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about helen keller you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carol bells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make helen keller pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
She answered the stapler.
How did she pierce her other ear?
Those b**... called back.
(feel free to imagine a dulled "Huwwuh? *ka-thunk* UUUNNGHH!" right after the first punchline)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you guys remember Helen Keller jokes? What's your favorite one? I'll go.
Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
She's a woman.
Helen Keller
Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "HERGGEHRHEHAIOUIGSGEG!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yankee Doodle can use other names too
Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'
Adolf h**... went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'
What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash?
Jergen's lotion.
Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009
What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?
One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.
Why was Helen Keller so good at golf?
She was a 2 handicap.
Helen Keller walks into a bar...
Don't laugh! You would too if you couldn't see or hear.
How do you confuse Helen Keller?
You tell her to read a basketball.
Helen Keller in court
Helen Keller was in court. Why didn't the jury rule in her favor?
They thought her argument was senseless.
Who has the all time pinball high score?
Helen Keller.
How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver?
Because she's dead.
Have you guys heard the joke about Helen Keller eating a hot dog?
It's okay, she never heard it either
Why is it okay to tell jokes about Helen Keller?
Because she will never hear them.
Kate Keller is not a good mother.
After learning that her daughter, Helen Keller, got turned down by a boy, she asks:
"Are you seeing someone?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Helen Keller try l**...?
Because she was told it makes you see things!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A few Helen Keller jokes. Feel free to add your own!
1. "Did you know Helen Keller had a really fancy doll house?"
"Neither did she.
2. "Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?"
"You would too if your name was BALLRUGEKLHEBSKLH!"
3. "How do you punish Helen Keller?"
"Rearrange the furniture and keep a plunger in the toilet."
If Helen Keller was a pokemon..
..she'd be a Mewtwo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you know if Helen Keller just m**...?
She spits when she talks.
What does Helen Keller call her dog?
Nothing. She's dead.
So Helen Keller walks into a bar...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Helen Keller
I pushed Helen Keller into a ditch in the middle of the woods, she screamed and screamed until her hands hurt.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
She broke her arm trying to read a speed limit sign.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Helen Keller drive....
Because she's a woman.
What was Helen Keller's favourite colour?
Corduroy.
Why is Helen Kellers belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend is blind too.
Did you know Helen Keller had a male roommate?
(Neither did she.)
Ever read Helen Keller's book? No?
Neither did she.
What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.
Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver?
She's dead.
How do you make Helen Keller cry?
Turn the stool upside-down
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did Helen Keller discover m**...?
Trying to read her own lips.
Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life?
because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone
Where would Helen Keller park her car?
On top of three children.
What's Helen Keller's Favorite Convenience Store?
Wawa
What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?
I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?
Because she was a woman
How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?
They gave her a basketball and told her to read.
Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell into a ditch
She screamed until she was blue in the hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Helen Keller fell into a pit...
She screamed and screamed until her hands bled.
I can't see the haters.
- Helen Keller
Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion?
Neither did she
Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?
So people can read her lips.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run too if your name was "Raaawwwrgggah".
Whats the easiest way to confuse Helen Keller?
Put doorknobs on all the walls.
Why did Helen Keller fall down the well?
Her dog's blind, too.
Define true love...
Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does everyone enjoy having Helen Keller at b**... parties?
She can never say the safe word.
What is long and dark?
A day in the life of Helen Keller.
What happened to Helen Keller when she fell down the mountain?
She broke five fingers calling for help
What did Helen Keller name her dog?
Darggghhhh
What do you name a movie about Helen Keller speaking to the dead?
The Fourth Sense.
Can anyone give me a hand with some Helen Keller jokes?
I haven't heard or seen any in a while.
Have you ever seen Helen Kellers house?
Neither has she.
If Helen Keller was also mute, you think she would've been as influential as she was?
If anything, Im sure she'd play a mean pinball.
What did Helen Keller get for Christmas?
Polio, she had everything else!
How does Helen Keller drive a car?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Did you hear about Helen Keller's moped?
She didn't either.
What do you call it when Helen Keller loses a finger?
A lisp!
Why can't Helen Keller play basketball?
She's white
