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Helen Keller Jokes

129 helen keller jokes and hilarious helen keller puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about helen keller that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Helen Keller Short Jokes

Short helen keller jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The helen keller humour may include short helen name jokes also.

  1. Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"
  2. What did Helen Keller say when she picked up the cheese grater? That was the most violent book I've ever read...........
  3. Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing
  4. Why could no one hear Helen Keller cry for help when she fell off a bridge? She was wearing mittens
  5. What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater? That's the worst book I ever read.
  6. Helen keller sets down a cheese grader and says... That was the most violent book i've ever read
  7. Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"... Helen Keller went to town,
    A-ridin' on a pony,
    Stuck a feather in her hat
    and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"
  8. Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she.
  9. Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? She was wearing mittens
  10. Why can't Helen Keller drive.... Because she's a woman.

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Helen Keller One Liners

Which helen keller one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with helen keller? I can suggest the ones about sally and homer.

  1. A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller. Because she's dead.
  2. Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other.
  3. Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead
  4. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
  5. (OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone? Senseless violence.
  6. Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
  7. Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard? Neither did she.
  8. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture.
  9. Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well? Neither did she.
  10. Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house? She didn't either.
  11. Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"
  12. Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? So she could sing with the other.
  13. How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.
  14. What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.
  15. Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple? Because she heard it through the grapevine...

Bad Helen Keller Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad helen keller jokes and even better bad helen keller puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors.
  • What do you call someone who's bad at reading and playing music? Helen Keller
  • That movie was so bad... ...only Helen Keller liked it.

Amusing Helen Keller Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about helen keller you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carol bells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make helen keller pranks.

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?

She answered the stapler.
How did she pierce her other ear?
Those b**... called back.
(feel free to imagine a dulled "Huwwuh? *ka-thunk* UUUNNGHH!" right after the first punchline)

Do you guys remember Helen Keller jokes? What's your favorite one? I'll go.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
She's a woman.

So Helen Keller walks into a bar

Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a lamp. Then she walks into the wa- ok, you get the idea.

Helen Keller

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "HERGGEHRHEHAIOUIGSGEG!"

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her for misbehavior?

They re-arrange the furniture around the house.

Yankee Doodle can use other names too

Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'
Adolf h**... went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'

Let's hear your best Helen Keller jokes.

Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash?

Jergen's lotion.

Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?
One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

Why was Helen Keller so good at golf?

She was a 2 handicap.

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.

How do you confuse Helen Keller?

You tell her to read a basketball.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?

Wouldn't you if your name was Hhuuuurrrnnnnggg.

Helen Keller in court

Helen Keller was in court. Why didn't the jury rule in her favor?
They thought her argument was senseless.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?

On a blind date!

Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver?

Because she's dead.

Why did Helen Keller try l**...?

Because she was told it makes you see things!

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set?

She didn't know either

Helen Keller

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her??
Rearrange the house..
Why was Helen Kellers hand broke?
Trying to read the speed limit signs going down the road.

A few Helen Keller jokes. Feel free to add your own!

1. "Did you know Helen Keller had a really fancy doll house?"
"Neither did she.
2. "Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?"
"You would too if your name was BALLRUGEKLHEBSKLH!"
3. "How do you punish Helen Keller?"
"Rearrange the furniture and keep a plunger in the toilet."

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her mom rearranged the living room

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?

Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling

How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She answered the waffle iron.
How did she burn the other side?
They called back.

How do you know if Helen Keller just m**...?

She spits when she talks.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff?

Nothing, she had her mittens on.

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour?

Corduroy.

Give us your most offensive joke (with one challenge)

No Jew, black, Helen Keller or dead baby jokes.
Feeds are always filled with those. Let's see something different.

Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?

She had mittens on.

How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?

Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.

Why is Helen Kellers belly button bruised?

Her boyfriend is blind too.

Ever read Helen Keller's book? No?

Neither did she.

Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver?

She's dead.

How did Helen Keller discover m**...?

Trying to read her own lips.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life?

because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

Glue doorknobs to the walls.

Why couldn't Helen Keller scream when she was pushed off the mountain?

She was wearing mittens.

Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?

Because she was a woman

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?

They gave her a basketball and told her to read.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

Did you know Helen Keller lived in a haunted house?

Neither did she.

How did Helen Keller break her arms?

She tried to read a road sign going 45mph

Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell into a ditch

She screamed until she was blue in the hand.

I can't see the haters.

- Helen Keller

Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion?

Neither did she

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

How did Helen Keller lose her right arm?

She was trying to read the speed limit sign on the highway.

Define true love...

Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

Stop the Helen Keller jokes

you have to be really blind not to see what's wrong with them.

What is long and dark?

A day in the life of Helen Keller.

I read a review for this cheese grater I was buying online...

"The most violent book I've ever read" - Helen Keller

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would, too, if your name was hrhrnwodjbrke.

"On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades"

- probably Helen Keller

What happened to Helen Keller when she fell down the mountain?

She broke five fingers calling for help

What did Helen Keller name her dog?

Darggghhhh

Can anyone give me a hand with some Helen Keller jokes?

I haven't heard or seen any in a while.

Have you ever seen Helen Kellers house?

Neither has she.

Why did Helen Keller get in a car accident?

Because she's a woman.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas?

Polio, she had everything else!

jokes about helen keller