Helen Jokes

Funniest Helen Short Jokes

Short helen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The helen humour may include short maid jokes also.

1. Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"
2. Your mother has been with us for 20 years, said John. Isn't it time she got a place of her own? My mother? replied Helen. I thought she was *your* mother.
3. Why does helen keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing
4. What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater? That's the worst book I ever read.
5. Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"... Helen Keller went to town,
   A-ridin' on a pony,
   Stuck a feather in her hat
   and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"
6. Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if your name was nyuhddiaiahf.
7. How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips? She was trying to read the waffle iron.
8. "On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades" - probably Helen Keller
9. Why did Helen Keller fire her maid? Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling
10. How did Helen Keller break her arm? You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.

Share These Helen Jokes With Friends

Helen One Liners

Which helen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with helen? I can suggest the ones about honey and helen name.

1. A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller. Because she's dead.
2. Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead
3. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
4. (OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone? Senseless violence.
5. Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
6. Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard? Neither did she.
7. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture.
8. Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well? Neither did she.
9. Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house? She didn't either.
10. Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"
11. How did Helen Keller lose her virginity? Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.
12. What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.
13. Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple? Because she heard it through the grapevine...
14. Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she.
15. What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Helen Keller Jokes

Here is a list of funny helen keller jokes and even better helen keller puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration. They called the song Helen Keller .
  Courtesy of my adult daughter onto which my 'dad humor' has clearly rubbed off!!
• Did you hear about Helen Keller's dating life? because I heard she wasn't seeing anyone
• How do you tell Helen Keller a joke? Not this way.
• Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell into a ditch She screamed until she was blue in the hand.
• Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion? Neither did she
• Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009 What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?
  One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.
• Who was the most frustrated ghost in the world? The one that haunted Helen Keller's house.
• How do you confuse Helen Keller? You tell her to read a basketball.
• Why would Helen Keller be a terrible driver? She's dead.
• What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash? Jergen's lotion.

Helen Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny helen name jokes and even better helen name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• TIL Helen Keller has a waterfall named after her, to celebrate her story of learning about water. It's named Helen Keller Falls
• What did Helen Keller name her dog? Darggghhhh
• Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run too if your name was "Raaawwwrgggah".
• A woman by the name of Helen Hunt has found a lady's pocketbook. So if you lost your pocketbook, go to Helen Hunt for it. Thank you.
• What do you name a movie about Helen Keller speaking to the dead? The Fourth Sense.
• Why did helen Keller dog killed himself ? Because anyone named muarauau would kill himself
• We've hired a new accountant. Her name is Helen Wait. Anyone expecting a check from us can go to Helen Wait.
• What was the name of Helen Keller's dog? Nyah, nyu, yuh, yah.
• What was Helen Keller's cat named? *inaudible screeching*
• What did Helen Keller name her dog? Aughewahahh

Helen Of Troy Jokes

Here is a list of funny helen of troy jokes and even better helen of troy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did Helen of troy hate her wedding cake It was to Menilayas
• Why did Helen of Troy never use painkillers? Because paracetamol.
• Helen of Troy had the face that launched 1000 ships Hillary Clinton has the face that launched a Trump presidency.
• Modern historians have a new hypothesis for what caused the death of Helen of Troy... It was the impact trauma from her face launching a thousand ships, long before champagne was invented.

Bad Helen Keller Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad helen keller jokes and even better bad helen keller puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors.
• What do you call someone who's bad at reading and playing music? Helen Keller
• That movie was so bad... ...only Helen Keller liked it.

Fun-Filled Helen Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about helen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean maria jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make helen pranks.