The Best 33 Heil Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Heil jokes. There are some heil hail jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these heil nazi puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Heil Jokes and Puns

So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.

Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"

Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"

Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"

Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain?

The weather called for *Heil*

What's Hitler's favorite weather?


Heil joke, What's Hitler's favorite weather?

What did the Nutzies say to their leader?

"Heil Dickler"

What's Hitlers favourite weather?


What do you get when you cross Hitler with a black woman?

Aw sieg heil no!

Once saw a bunch of Nazis saluting in icy precipitation.

It was quite the heil storm.

Heil joke, Once saw a bunch of Nazis saluting in icy precipitation.

Obama and Putin are walking on the beach.

Obama says "We have got great submarines, they can stay under water for 6 weeks". Putin replies "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for 10 weeks". Suddenly, a submarine emerges and a man sticks his head out and yells "Heil Hitler! Do you have diesel?"

Why does Hitler not like the weather?

There seems to be a lot of heil whenever he goes out.

What's a Jews least favorite type of weather?


What was the weather forcast in poland on the day before the german invasion?

86% chance of heil

You can explore heil herr reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean heil sieg dad jokes. There are also heil puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do call if it was raining Nazis?

A Heil storm

What do neo-Nazis do on Hitler's birthday?

Heil if I know

What's Hitler's favorite song ?

Highway to heil.

A french, an english and a german general are talking about submarine technology

The French general tells them their submarines can stay underwater for three days.

The British says theirs can stay submerged for 180 days

Suddenly a submarine comes up. A man comes out and shouts: "SIEG HEIL. Wir brauchen Sprit!"

Why did Hitler make such a bad weatherman?

Even when it was rain, he kept yelling "heil!"

Heil joke, Why did Hitler make such a bad weatherman?

The 2017 forecast just came in

Looks like reign with a slight chance of heil.

Why was Hitler late to his meeting?

He couldn't HEIL a cab.

The weather forecast is looking pretty bad over in Germany.

There's a high chance of heil.

Sieg Heil by Covergirl

Girls use chemicals to remove polish and no one panics.
Hitler does the same thing and everyone loses their minds.

What do nazis do when they first get to NYC?

Heil a taxi

How do german doctors cure their patients?

They heil them.

So Hitler was getting gas the other day...

And he said "what?! $2.60 per gallon?? That's a heil of a deal."

I hate when American Nazis say "Sieg Heil"

Like seriously learn English, and stop this multicultural behavior.

What wasthe white supremacist weatherman's forecast?

Heavy reign, with a chance of heil.

What kind of shoes did Hitler's wife wear?

Size nein heil heels.

What's a Nazi's favourite weather?


I like the Germans, but instead of Hitler, now they are all obsessed with this new guy named Morgan

Instead of saying Heil Hitler , they now come up to me and say Good Morgan .

An English man, French and American walk near the sea

And argue who has the best submarines.

The french says: Our submarines can las a whole week under water.

The english man says: Our submarines can last two weeks under water.

The american says: Well our submarines can last a whole month under water.

Near them a submarin emerges from the water and a man comes out of it and asks: Heil, is the war over?

What type of shoes did Hitler make his wife wear?

Ze heil heels!!!

What do you call German snow?


What do you call small anti-Semitic chunks of ice falling from the sky?


What was Hitler's favourite type of weather?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the heil ovens jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working heil werner piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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