Hefty Jokes
16 hefty jokes and hilarious hefty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hefty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hefty Short Jokes
Short hefty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hefty humour may include short hearty jokes also.
- I asked my grocer why garbage bags have become so expensive. He said there's been a hefty demand increase.
- TIL that in some states, graffiti vandals are fined $100-200 per letter. So if you make a whole bunch of letters, you could end up with a hefty sentence.
- I like my women the way I like my cheesecake..... In hefty portions, and covered in strawberries
- How do you know if two elephants were having s**... in your backyard? Your fence is knocked down and one of your Hefty trash bags is missing.
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Hefty One Liners
Which hefty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hefty? I can suggest the ones about heavier and heavy.
- I like my women like I like my trash bags... Hefty and a cinch to tie.
- I like my women like I like my garbage bags. Hefty.
- How much does it cost to get into a giant's castle? A hefty fee..fi fo fum.
- If there was a tax on s**..., I'd get a hefty return every year.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Hefty Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about hefty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean huge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hefty pranks.
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
He says, "The female dormitory would be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory would be prohibited for the female students."
Continuing further, he says, "Anyone caught breaking this rule would be fined $50 the first time."
"Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time would be fined $100."
"Being caught the third time, would incur a hefty fine of $200."
"Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked: "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched: "It's Wales, Wales you b**... idiot!"
So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
And that's the last thing I remember.
Interesting accents!
3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"
One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"
The bartender says, "Okay, fine. Are you whales from Scotland?"
So a college teacher is talking to his male students...
"Access to the women's dorms is strictly prohibited. If someone is caught there for the first time, they will suffer a fine of 100 dollars. The second offence will involve a 300 dollar fine. Getting caught there for the third time will cost you a hefty fine of 500 dollars."
Suddenly, a student in the back raises his hand and asks:
"How much for a semester pass?"
An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...
All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.
"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."
This guy out there asking the real questions
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200. Are there any questions?" At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
A woman gets on a double decker bus.
She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.
The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says but airy up there ma'am
To which she replies, what'd you expect, feathers?
...And that's the last thing I remember
So I was at the bar the other day, and I heard these two kind of hefty women talking to each other in a funny accent. So I go up to them and say, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them turns to me and says, "Wales you idiot!" I say, "Oh sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"
Farmers cows are out
A hefty woman at the bar approaches a man and asks, can i get your number?
The man replies, sure do u have a pen?
She responds, yeah here ya go.
He concludes, alright well you better tell the farmer to put you back in it and lock it.
