The Best 14 Hefty Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hefty jokes. There are some hefty large jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hefty behalf puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hefty Jokes and Puns

The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking

Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked: "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"

One of them angrily screeched: "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"

So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"

And that's the last thing I remember.

Interesting accents!

3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"

One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"

The bartender says, "Okay, fine. Are you whales from Scotland?"

So a college teacher is talking to his male students...

"Access to the women's dorms is strictly prohibited. If someone is caught there for the first time, they will suffer a fine of 100 dollars. The second offence will involve a 300 dollar fine. Getting caught there for the third time will cost you a hefty fine of 500 dollars."

Suddenly, a student in the back raises his hand and asks:

"How much for a semester pass?"

Hefty joke, So a college teacher is talking to his male students...

An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Hobbit walk into a bar...

All three proceed to eat, drink and have a good time, slamming down pint after pint of ale until finally the pub was closing. The bartender asks them how he should split the tab as it was a pretty hefty sum.

"I got this," replies the Elf as he looks at the bill. "My two friends here are always a little short anyway."

This guy out there asking the real questions

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200. Are there any questions?" At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"


A woman gets on a double decker bus.

She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.

The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says but airy up there ma'am

To which she replies, what'd you expect, feathers?

How do you know if two elephants were having sex in your backyard?

Your fence is knocked down and one of your Hefty trash bags is missing.

Hefty joke, How do you know if two elephants were having sex in your backyard?

...And that's the last thing I remember

So I was at the bar the other day, and I heard these two kind of hefty women talking to each other in a funny accent. So I go up to them and say, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them turns to me and says, "Wales you idiot!" I say, "Oh sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

TIL that in some states, graffiti vandals are fined $100-200 per letter.

So if you make a whole bunch of letters, you could end up with a hefty sentence.

Farmers cows are out

A hefty woman at the bar approaches a man and asks, can i get your number?

The man replies, sure do u have a pen?

She responds, yeah here ya go.

He concludes, alright well you better tell the farmer to put you back in it and lock it.

I like my women like I like my trash bags...

Hefty and a cinch to tie.

You can explore hefty burly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hefty respective dad jokes. There are also hefty puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If there was a tax on sex,

I'd get a hefty return every year.

I like my women like I like my garbage bags.

Hefty.

I like my women the way I like my cheesecake.....

In hefty portions, and covered in strawberries

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hefty heavier jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hefty sturdy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes