Hedge Jokes

• Short Hedge Jokes
• Hedge One Liners
• Over The Hedge Jokes
• Hedge Fund Jokes
• More Hedge Jokes

Funniest Hedge Short Jokes

Short hedge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hedge humour may include short fence jokes also.

1. I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued... "It's cutting hedge technology!"
2. Those hedge funds should have known they'd lose money by shorting GME. As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.
3. What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks? A good start. HOLD the LINE.
4. To the game stop hedge fund investors: I know you spent 70 billion. But the best I can offer you is $4 in credit.
5. Lost my job as a hedge fund manager today, not sure if due to dress code or work performance! All the boss would tell me is something about my shorts and that that they didn't cover.
6. I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze. But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
7. Hedgehogs... Why can't they just share the hedge?
   One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)
8. What do you call a bleak future society in which people are forced by the state to trim hedges into decorative shapes? A dystopiary!
9. I don't understand why people think money grows on trees when clearly, it actually grows on shrubbery. That's where hedge funds come from!
10. Did you hear about the engineer who liked gardening? he was developing latest hedge cutting technology

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Hedge One Liners

Which hedge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hedge? I can suggest the ones about edge up and bluff.

1. I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers. They're cutting-hedge technology.
2. Hedgehogs Why can't they just share the hedge.
3. What do you call a pig that gets stuck in a bush? A hedge hog.
4. I own an innovative gardening supplies store. We sell cutting-hedge technology.
5. I'm saving up some money to plant bushes for my backyard. That's…my hedge fund.
6. Trimming garden hedges... ...is shearious business.
7. What do you call a lawn mower that operates on its own? Cutting-hedge technology
8. What do you call a bush full of money A hedge fund
9. Garden shears will never be outdated. After all, it's cutting-hedge technology.
10. What do you call a conglomerate of shrubbery that rules over an area? A hedge-emony.
11. I went to a hedge fund manager's work to punch him in the face And order a McDouble
12. A man like me is hard to find. I trim maze hedges.
13. What did the Bushes do after they retired from politics? Opened up a hedge fund
14. What do you call the CFO of a landscaping company? A hedge fund manager
15. Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund.

Over The Hedge Jokes

Here is a list of funny over the hedge jokes and even better over the hedge puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the axe that could cut trees instantly ? It's cutting hedge technology
• After being shorted by hedge funds, Gamestop, AMC, Blackberry and Nokia are watching those funds cry about their losses I guess you could say those... companies love misery
• I hired a private investigator but he spent two days staring at my hedges Turned out he was a privet investigator.
• I found a guy walking around my hedge and jerking off last night. I guess you could say he was beating around the bush.
• What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.
• I hired a dog landscaper the other day. I guess you can say he was "Ruff around the hedges".
• I was concerned about my gambling problem... ...so I came up with a great solution, on the way home from the bookies I threw all my receipts into a bush.
  I was hedging my bets.
• How do tree surgeons live? Life on the hedge!
• What do you call a landscaper's bank account? A hedge fund
• TIFU by accidentally cutting down by neighbour's hedge instead of my own Whoops, wrong shrub.

Hedge Fund Jokes

Here is a list of funny hedge fund jokes and even better hedge fund puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a bush in a suit? A hedge fund manager
• What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker? A box hedge fund!
• Where does a hedge knight invest his money? In a hedge fund
• What's the difference between a mosquito and a hedge fund manager? A mosquito will stop s**... your blood before its head explodes. Full disclosure: Got this from Bill Mahr

Heartwarming Hedge Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about hedge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hedge pranks.