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Hedge Fund Jokes

27 hedge fund jokes and hilarious hedge fund puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hedge fund that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hedge Fund Short Jokes

Short hedge fund jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hedge fund humour may include short hedge jokes also.

  1. Those hedge funds should have known they'd lose money by shorting GME. As for us Gamestop customers, we fully expect to sell something for $20 and have to spend $500 when we want to buy it back.
  2. What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks? A good start. HOLD the LINE.
  3. To the game stop hedge fund investors: I know you spent 70 billion. But the best I can offer you is $4 in credit.
  4. Lost my job as a hedge fund manager today, not sure if due to dress code or work performance! All the boss would tell me is something about my shorts and that that they didn't cover.
  5. I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze. But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
  6. I don't understand why people think money grows on trees when clearly, it actually grows on shrubbery. That's where hedge funds come from!
  7. After being shorted by hedge funds, Gamestop, AMC, Blackberry and Nokia are watching those funds cry about their losses I guess you could say those... companies love misery
  8. What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM? It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

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Hedge Fund One Liners

Which hedge fund one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hedge fund? I can suggest the ones about investment banker and stock market.

  1. I'm saving up some money to plant bushes for my backyard. That's…my hedge fund.
  2. What do you call a bush full of money A hedge fund
  3. What did the Bushes do after they retired from politics? Opened up a hedge fund
  4. What do you call the CFO of a landscaping company? A hedge fund manager
  5. Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund.
  6. What do you call a landscaper's bank account? A hedge fund
  7. What do you call a bush in a suit? A hedge fund manager
  8. What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker? A box hedge fund!
  9. Where does a hedge knight invest his money? In a hedge fund
  10. I went to a hedge fund manager's work to punch him in the face And order a McDouble

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Hedge Fund Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about hedge fund you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wall street jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hedge fund pranks.

A redditor repeating 15, 15, 15 ... passes by a hedge fund manager.

The hedge fund manager starts to follow him curiously. The redditor keeps repeating 15. The hedge fund manager follows him out of the town, on an unpaved road, to the edge of a cliff where the redditor looks down repeating 15. The hedge fund manager comes next to him to look down into the cliff. The redditor pushes him in. 16, 16, 16....

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the difference between a mosquito and a hedge fund manager? A mosquito will stop s**... your blood before its head explodes.

Full disclosure: Got this from Bill Mahr