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Hebrew Jokes

98 hebrew jokes and hilarious hebrew puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hebrew that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A collection of funny Hebrew jokes, including jokes about hebrew coffee, vay, and israelite humor. Enjoy a laugh with friends and family with these unique comedic takes on the Hebrew culture.

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Popular Hebrew Short Jokes

Short hebrew jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hebrew humour may include short jew jokes also.

  1. My husband doesn't believe me that the Bible instructs him to make the coffee in the morning. It's there, clear as day. Hebrews.
  2. There is a bible book all about beer... Its called Hebrews
  3. How does the Rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it
  4. My Jewish friend is going to open a coffee shop. Suggested he name it Hebrew.
  5. Why do Jewish women never make coffee? Because Hebrew
  6. How does Moses get his tea ready? Hebrews
  7. What do you call a Jewish alchemist? A Hebrew.
  8. In Israel, why is it that only men are allowed to make coffee? Because of *Hebrew* law
  9. How does Jesus make his tea? Hebrews it
  10. "Did you know that there's another, Hebrew name for God?" "No way!"
    "Yahweh."

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Hebrew One Liners

Which hebrew one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hebrew? I can suggest the ones about hebrew coffee and rabbi.

  1. How does moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
  2. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
    I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!
  3. How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
    I'll show myself out.
  4. What did the Jewish man do when he wanted tea? Hebrew.
  5. How does a jew make coffee? Hebrews it
  6. Why doesn't Jesus buy beer? Hebrews.
  7. How did the Israeli get his coffee? Hebrew'd it.
  8. A Jewish man does not make instant coffee....... Hebrews...
  9. What does the Jewish potion maker do at work? Hebrew
  10. What does a Jew do at a coffee shop? Hebrew's coffee
  11. What does the Jew do with his tea? Hebrews it.
  12. Did you hear about the Jewish man who loves tea? Hebrews regularly.
  13. Why does any given Jewish man always have beer in his home? Because Hebrews.
  14. Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band? Guns N' Moses
  15. How does Jesus make his coffee? Hebrews it.

Hebrew Coffee Jokes

Here is a list of funny hebrew coffee jokes and even better hebrew coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • All men should make coffee for their woman It says it right in the bible: "Hebrew"
  • How does a rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it!
    Enjoy your day!
  • Women aren't supposed to make coffee. The Bible says.. Hebrews
  • What did the Jew barista do? Hebrew coffee
  • What do you get when you cross a Jew and a coffee shop? Hebrews
  • Where does Moses get his coffee? Hebrews it.
  • My rabbi was telling me about his kosher coffee company Hebrews it all himself.
  • Did you know it's forbidden for women to make coffee? In the bible it says... He-Brews
  • If Jesus wouldn't brew coffee... ... what would hebrew?
  • What religion is a coffee machine? He-brew.

Hebrew Bible Jokes

Here is a list of funny hebrew bible jokes and even better hebrew bible puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I believe Jesus worked as a beer brewer. The bible says Hebrews.
  • In a relationship, the husband should always be the one who makes coffee for his wife. It says so right in the bible. Hebrews
  • There exists a book of The Bible that guides man on how to make coffee It is The Book of Hebrews
Hebrew joke, There exists a book of The Bible that guides man on how to make coffee

Hebrew joke, There exists a book of The Bible that guides man on how to make coffee

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about hebrew can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of hebrew puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Heartwarming Hebrew Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about hebrew you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean orthodox jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make hebrew prank.

What do you say to a Hebrew baby?

"Look at Jew! Aren't Jew so cute!"
Punchline best if done in that voice that allot of people do around baby's and animals.

What did the kiwi say to the Rabbi?

"Hebrew".

How did the Jewish t**... die?

Hebrew up.

I was talking to my Israeli friend who works at Starbucks...

Hebrew.

A joke I am working on. Feedback and suggestions are appreciated!

Did you hear about the synagogue that had all the Stars of David and Hebrew graffiti'd over?
The police are calling it an anti-Semiotic hate crime.

What do you call a Hebrew knight?

Ser Cumcised.

What do you get from a Hebrew genie?

A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes

What do you call a Hebrew that lives in the Alpines?

A Mountain Jew.

What do you call a Jewish New Zealander?

Hebrew

Have you heard of the beer Jesus made?

Its called Hebrew.

What do you call a wet hebrew?

Miljew.

What do you call two people singing in Hebrew?

Jew-et
Yup, I know where the door is.

What do you call a person who speaks Hebrew and has a pH level of 3?

An Acidic Jew.

What did the jewish barman do when they ran out of beer?

Hebrew

What did Jesus say to Peter?

Hebrew

What do you call 2 people singing in Hebrew?

Jewet
:D

After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu....

...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."

What do you call a Hebrew with a PH level less than 7?

An Acidic Jew

What did a Jewish guy do first thing in the morning?

Hebrew coffee
Go easy on me with this pun.

Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl?

Hebrew it.

What do you call a young Jewish girl who solves mysteries?

Nance Hebrew

Did you hear about the rebellious Hebrew child?

He went out and got s**... with his mates.

An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel

When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.
"What happened?" his friend asked.
"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."
"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"
"Nobody told me they read right to left!"

a joke my teacher made in class

teacher:"(generic kid name) this is the forth time i have warned you!"
kid:"did you count how many times you warned me?"
teacher:"no, i just pick a random number and it sounds logical"
this was funnier in class and in Hebrew, i don't expect it to do good here.

My hebrew friend has let me down several times, so I am no longer friends with him

Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on jews.

A rich man gave a basket of trash to a poor man[translated from hebrew]

The poor man smiled to the rich man and went on his way.
After emptying cleaning and filling it with flowers the poor man returned to the rich man and gave him basket.
Supreized the rich man asks: "why did you give me a basket of flowers after i gave you a basket of trash?"
The poor man replies:
"We all give what's in our hearts".

I attended a very tough Hebrew school.

We had nuns.

Hello, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. He's a Jewish Barista.

Hebrew.

What did the Jewish boy say to the other Jewish boy?

Hebrew

If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...

You're an acidic Jew.
(I made this up, since it seems trendy to let everyone know)

What are Jew's favorite brew?

Hebrew

What's the difference between a Jewish guy and a woman who makes beer?

One's a Hebrew, the other's a Shebrew.

There were people having a disagreement over whether it is correct to use the term "Jew", "Israeli", or "Hebrew".

In the end they were just arguing semitics.

What did the Maori say to the Israelite?

Hebrew

Did you hear about the jewish barista?

Hebrew.

How did the Jewish man make grain into beer?

Hebrew

What language does a barista speak?

Hebrew.

What does a Jewish bartender do?

Hebrew.

Yesterday I went out with a hebrew girl for a date

Everyhting seemed fine.At some point she asked my number. I told her we usually call each other by name.Now she won't talk to me anymore.

A nice Christian joke

A man asks his wife to make him coffee, she refuses and states that he should instead make her coffee. He asks her why he should make her coffee and she says it's because the Bible says so. He states that if she can proove that the Bible says so he will fold and make her a cup of coffee. So she takes out a Bible, opens the Bible, points and says... Hebrew

What do you call a pair of conjoined hebrew twins with far left political views?

An SJ Double Jew

How did the Jewish brewery owner make his drinks?

Hebrew it

What's the only drink a Jewish bar sells?

He-Brew

I don't like when people distinguish between Jew and Hebrew

I guess you could say I am anti-semantic.

What do you call a Hebrew commando?

GI Jew

How do you describe a Jew making Tea?

He-brew

What does the Jewish alchemist do in his spare time?

Hebrew

How did the Jewish boy do on his English test?

Hebrew it.

What do you call a Jewish man who makes his own beer?

Hebrew

I see there's a popular trend of translating foreign jokes in the sub, so here's a one from Hebrew.

What do you call 10 moroccan Jews on a roof top?
An alarm system.

How does a Jewish man make beer?

Hebrew

A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to h**...? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."

A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...

I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.
In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!

An old man sat studying on a bench near the Kremlin

A KGB agent walking by looked at him suspiciously
but passed by
But an hour and 2 more times passing later the agent asked "Why are u sitting here so long and what are u doing?
Old man replied "I am an old man and Don't expect to live much longer. I want to go to heaven and as u know they speak Hebrew in heaven so I am learning the language now
To this the agent replied "Ha if u go to h**...? Then what?"
The old man replied "I am already fluent in Russian"

What do you call a Jewish beer?

A hebrew .

Jesus opened a brewery. Do you know what he called it??

HeBrew

What does an Israeli alchemist do?

Hebrew

What language do male teabags speak?

Hebrew

Hebrew joke, What language do male teabags speak?

jokes about hebrew

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these hebrew jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.