Hebrew Jokes
97 hebrew jokes and hilarious hebrew puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hebrew that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of funny Hebrew jokes, including jokes about hebrew coffee, vay, and israelite humor. Enjoy a laugh with friends and family with these unique comedic takes on the Hebrew culture.
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Funniest Hebrew Short Jokes
Short hebrew jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hebrew humour may include short hebrew coffee jokes also.
- My husband doesn't believe me that the Bible instructs him to make the coffee in the morning. It's there, clear as day. Hebrews.
- All men should make coffee for their woman It says it right in the bible: "Hebrew"
- Jesus opened a brewery. Do you know what he called it?? HeBrew
- How does Moses make beer? Hebrews!
- What did the kiwi say to the Rabbi? "Hebrew".
- What do you call a Jewish beer? A hebrew .
- What does an Israeli alchemist do? Hebrew
- Women aren't supposed to make coffee. The Bible says.. Hebrews
- What did the Jew barista do? Hebrew coffee
- What Does A Jewish Guy Do When He Works At Starbucks? Hebrews
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Hebrew One Liners
Which hebrew one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hebrew? I can suggest the ones about rabbi and orthodox.
- How does moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it! - How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
I'll show myself out. - What did the Jewish man do when he wanted tea? Hebrew.
- How does a jew make coffee? Hebrews it
- Why doesn't Jesus buy beer? Hebrews.
- A Jewish man does not make instant coffee....... Hebrews...
- What does the Jewish potion maker do at work? Hebrew
- Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band? Guns N' Moses
- There is a bible book all about beer... Its called Hebrews
- My Jewish friend is going to open a coffee shop. Suggested he name it Hebrew.
- Why do Jewish women never make coffee? Because Hebrew
- What do you call a Jewish alchemist? A Hebrew.
- In Israel, why is it that only men are allowed to make coffee? Because of *Hebrew* law
- "Did you know that there's another, Hebrew name for God?" "No way!"
"Yahweh." - Have you heard of the beer Jesus made? Its called Hebrew.
Hebrew Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny hebrew coffee jokes and even better hebrew coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you cross a Jew and a coffee shop? Hebrews
- My rabbi was telling me about his kosher coffee company Hebrews it all himself.
- Did you know it's forbidden for women to make coffee? In the bible it says... He-Brews
- If Jesus wouldn't brew coffee... ... what would hebrew?
- What religion is a coffee machine? He-brew.
- So there's this Jewish Guy who works at a cafe Hebrews good coffee in the morning 😈
- What did a Jewish guy do first thing in the morning? Hebrew coffee
Go easy on me with this pun. - A Jewish Coffee brand named... Hebrews It
- How does a Jewish man make his coffee? Hebrews it.
- What's the Biblical equivalent to Starbucks? Hebrews Coffee
Hebrew Bible Jokes
Here is a list of funny hebrew bible jokes and even better hebrew bible puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I believe Jesus worked as a beer brewer. The bible says Hebrews.
- There exists a book of The Bible that guides man on how to make coffee It is The Book of Hebrews
Gather Around for Heartwarming Hebrew Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about hebrew you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brew jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hebrew pranks.
What do you call a drink only for men?
Hebrew
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you say to a Hebrew baby?
"Look at Jew! Aren't Jew so cute!"
Punchline best if done in that voice that allot of people do around baby's and animals.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the Jewish t**... die?
Hebrew up.
I was talking to my Israeli friend who works at Starbucks...
Hebrew.
A joke I am working on. Feedback and suggestions are appreciated!
Did you hear about the synagogue that had all the Stars of David and Hebrew graffiti'd over?
The police are calling it an anti-Semiotic hate crime.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Hebrew knight?
Ser Cumcised.
What do you get from a Hebrew genie?
A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Hebrew that lives in the Alpines?
A Mountain Jew.
What do you call a Jewish New Zealander?
Hebrew
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a wet hebrew?
Miljew.
Who brew in the jewish house down the street?
Hebrew.
What did the jewish barman do when they ran out of beer?
Hebrew
What did Jesus say to Peter?
Hebrew
What do you call 2 people singing in Hebrew?
Jewet
:D
After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu....
...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."
I'll be learning Hebrew...
In jew course.
Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl?
Hebrew it.
What do you call a young Jewish girl who solves mysteries?
Nance Hebrew
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the rebellious Hebrew child?
He went out and got s**... with his mates.
An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel
When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.
"What happened?" his friend asked.
"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."
"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"
"Nobody told me they read right to left!"
a joke my teacher made in class
teacher:"(generic kid name) this is the forth time i have warned you!"
kid:"did you count how many times you warned me?"
teacher:"no, i just pick a random number and it sounds logical"
this was funnier in class and in Hebrew, i don't expect it to do good here.
What is Jesus's favorite beer?
Hebrew...
A rich man gave a basket of trash to a poor man[translated from hebrew]
The poor man smiled to the rich man and went on his way.
After emptying cleaning and filling it with flowers the poor man returned to the rich man and gave him basket.
Supreized the rich man asks: "why did you give me a basket of flowers after i gave you a basket of trash?"
The poor man replies:
"We all give what's in our hearts".
I attended a very tough Hebrew school.
We had nuns.
Hello, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. He's a Jewish Barista.
Hebrew.
What did the Jewish boy say to the other Jewish boy?
Hebrew
Why are all male people who work,
Why are all male people who work in a brewery Jews?
Hebrew
An accountant told President Trump, "You can name my firstborn son as long as it honors me, is Hebrew, and—" Interjecting, President Trump blurts out,"I'VE GOT IT...
"MathJew"
What are Jew's favorite brew?
Hebrew
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Jewish guy and a woman who makes beer?
One's a Hebrew, the other's a Shebrew.
There were people having a disagreement over whether it is correct to use the term "Jew", "Israeli", or "Hebrew".
In the end they were just arguing semitics.
What did the Maori say to the Israelite?
Hebrew
What does a Jewish bartender do?
Hebrew.
Yesterday I went out with a hebrew girl for a date
Everyhting seemed fine.At some point she asked my number. I told her we usually call each other by name.Now she won't talk to me anymore.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a pair of conjoined hebrew twins with far left political views?
An SJ Double Jew
What's the only drink a Jewish bar sells?
He-Brew
I don't like when people distinguish between Jew and Hebrew
I guess you could say I am anti-semantic.
What do you call a Hebrew commando?
GI Jew
What language do New Zealander's speak?
Hebrew
What does a Hebrew-speaking cowboy say?
Yee-chaw.
What do you call a person of Jewish decent who plays for the Washington major league team?
A Hebrew National
What do Hebrewian brothers call each other?
He-bro's
What did the New Zealander say to the Jew?
Hebrew.
One day I asked a Jew what he's doing.
"I'm brewing", he said.
A while later, a friend asked me what the Jew did. I answered "Hebrew"
What does a Hebrew ghost sound like?
Joooooooooo
How does a New Zealander greet Jews?
He-brew.
How did the Jewish boy do on his English test?
Hebrew it.
I see there's a popular trend of translating foreign jokes in the sub, so here's a one from Hebrew.
What do you call 10 moroccan Jews on a roof top?
An alarm system.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.
What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to h**...? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."
A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...
I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.
In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man sat studying on a bench near the Kremlin
A KGB agent walking by looked at him suspiciously
but passed by
But an hour and 2 more times passing later the agent asked "Why are u sitting here so long and what are u doing?
Old man replied "I am an old man and Don't expect to live much longer. I want to go to heaven and as u know they speak Hebrew in heaven so I am learning the language now
To this the agent replied "Ha if u go to h**...? Then what?"
The old man replied "I am already fluent in Russian"
What language do male teabags speak?
Hebrew
