The Best 51 Hebrew Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hebrew jokes. There are some hebrew judaism jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hebrew hasidic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hebrew Jokes and Puns

What did the Kiwi say to the Rabbi?


How did the Jewish terrorist die?

Hebrew up.

A joke I am working on. Feedback and suggestions are appreciated!

Did you hear about the synagogue that had all the Stars of David and Hebrew graffiti'd over?

The police are calling it an anti-Semiotic hate crime.

Hebrew joke, A joke I am working on. Feedback and suggestions are appreciated!

What do you call a Hebrew knight?

Ser Cumcised.

What do you get from a Hebrew genie?

A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes

Have you heard of the beer Jesus made?

Its called Hebrew.

What do you call two people singing in Hebrew?


Yup, I know where the door is.

Hebrew joke, What do you call two people singing in Hebrew?

What did Jesus say to Peter?


What do you call 2 people singing in Hebrew?


After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu....

...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."

What do you call a Hebrew with a PH level less than 7?

An Acidic Jew

You can explore hebrew israelite reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hebrew jew dad jokes. There are also hebrew puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did a Jewish guy do first thing in the morning?

Hebrew coffee

Go easy on me with this pun.

Why Didn't the Jew Score Another Date with the Asian Girl?

Hebrew it.

What do you call a young Jewish girl who solves mysteries?

Nance Hebrew

An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel

When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.

"What happened?" his friend asked.

"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."

"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"

"Nobody told me they read right to left!"

a joke my teacher made in class

teacher:"(generic kid name) this is the forth time i have warned you!"

kid:"did you count how many times you warned me?"

teacher:"no, i just pick a random number and it sounds logical"

this was funnier in class and in Hebrew, i don't expect it to do good here.

Hebrew joke, a joke my teacher made in class

"Did you know that there's another, Hebrew name for God?"

"No way!"


Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band?

Guns N' Moses

A rich man gave a basket of trash to a poor man[translated from hebrew]

The poor man smiled to the rich man and went on his way.

After emptying cleaning and filling it with flowers the poor man returned to the rich man and gave him basket.

Supreized the rich man asks: "why did you give me a basket of flowers after i gave you a basket of trash?"

The poor man replies:
"We all give what's in our hearts".

Hello, I'd like to introduce you to my friend. He's a Jewish Barista.


What did the Jewish boy say to the other Jewish boy?


If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...

You're an acidic Jew.

(I made this up, since it seems trendy to let everyone know)

What do you call a Jewish alchemist?

A Hebrew.

What are Jew's favorite brew?


Why do Jewish women never make coffee?

Because Hebrew

What's the difference between a Jewish guy and a woman who makes beer?

One's a Hebrew, the other's a Shebrew.

What did the Jewish man do when he wanted tea?


What did the Maori say to the Israelite?


Did you hear about the jewish barista?


How did the Jewish man make grain into beer?


What does a Jewish bartender do?


My Jewish friend is going to open a coffee shop.

Suggested he name it Hebrew.

All men should make coffee for their woman

It says it right in the bible: "Hebrew"

A nice Christian joke

A man asks his wife to make him coffee, she refuses and states that he should instead make her coffee. He asks her why he should make her coffee and she says it's because the Bible says so. He states that if she can proove that the Bible says so he will fold and make her a cup of coffee. So she takes out a Bible, opens the Bible, points and says... Hebrew

What's the only drink a Jewish bar sells?


I don't like when people distinguish between Jew and Hebrew

I guess you could say I am anti-semantic.

What do you call a Hebrew commando?

GI Jew

How do you describe a Jew making Tea?


What does the Jewish alchemist do in his spare time?


What religion is a coffee machine?


What do you call a Jewish man who makes his own beer?


I see there's a popular trend of translating foreign jokes in the sub, so here's a one from Hebrew.

What do you call 10 Moroccan Jews on a roof top?

An alarm system.

How does a Jewish man make beer?


A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.

What are you reading, old man? he asks.

I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.

The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.

I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.

How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to hell? asks the KGB agent.

I already speak Russian."

A lot of people are roasting Cleaver on saying "Awoman"...

I mean, I know that "Amen" comes from Hebrew and means "so be it", and therefore "Awoman" would make no sense in Hebrew.

In Shebrew, however, it makes complete sense!!!

In Israel, why is it that only men are allowed to make coffee?

Because of *Hebrew* law

What did the Jew barista do?

Hebrew coffee

An old man sat studying on a bench near the Kremlin

A KGB agent walking by looked at him suspiciously
but passed by
But an hour and 2 more times passing later the agent asked "Why are u sitting here so long and what are u doing?
Old man replied "I am an old man and Don't expect to live much longer. I want to go to heaven and as u know they speak Hebrew in heaven so I am learning the language now
To this the agent replied "Ha if u go to hell? Then what?"
The old man replied "I am already fluent in Russian"

What does the Jewish potion maker do at work?


What do you call a Jewish beer?

A hebrew .

If Jesus wouldn't brew coffee...

... what would hebrew?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hebrew palestine jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hebrew rabbi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes