The Best 49 Heavier Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Heavier jokes. There are some heavier fatter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these heavier weigh puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Heavier Jokes and Puns

The only things that defy gravity are women...

...the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

As technology gets lighter, thinner, and faster...

People get heavier, thicker, and slower.

The two old-timers...

...were having a chat over the back fence.

"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."

"Why's that, Clem?"

"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love to your wife."

"Pfft! That shows how bad your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"

Heavier joke, The two old-timers...

After progressively lifting heavier weights, I was finally able to squat 600 pounds.

Unfortunately, all that money still weighs less than a kilo.

What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

A Woman


I'm going to open a restaraunt called pantera bread

It will be similar to panera bread, but the food we serve will be much heavier

Which is heavier, a coin or a ship?

Obviously the coin, the coin sinks!

Heavier joke, Which is heavier, a coin or a ship?

To quote my late father...

"Traffic is heavier than I expected."

How do women defy the laws of physics?

The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!

Three old men

Three old men are golfing. One of them complains,

"Ya know, the hills these days are getting steeper and steeper"

His buddy one chimes in:

"Yep, and the clubs are getting heavier. They were way lighter when we were younger"

The third old man patiently listening finally says,

"Oh quit whining you two, at least we're on the right side of the grass."

What's easier to pick up the heavier it is?

A girl.

You can explore heavier harder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean heavier bigger dad jokes. There are also heavier puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

What's heavier: a ton of gold or a ton of feathers?

The feathers.

The gold's weight is measured using the Troy measurement system in which an ounce is 12 "regular" ounces.

The more you know...

What do bombs have in common with feminists?

The heavier they are, the bigger they explode when triggered.

Why are married women heavier than single women?

When single women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in the fridge, and head for bed. When married women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in bed, and head for the fridge.

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork.

But the bigger, heavier ones are delivered by a crane.

Heavier joke, Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork.

*BOOM*

Mom: what was that

Me: my shirt fell

Mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that

Me: I was in it

Smaller babies are always delivered by stork...

but the heavier ones need to be delivered by **crane**.

Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?

The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.


In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman.

According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.

NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.

Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.

Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price

I learned this on a price comparison site.

Why are humans getting heavier?

There's a lot more of us

So i had sex with this heavier girl at a party last night...

I kinda feel bad cause she was super waisted.

What is both heavier and lighter than a plank?

...a plank-ton!

What gets easier to pick up as it gets heavier?

Women

What's heavier 10 lbs of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers

The 10 pounds of feathers is heavier. Because you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
You monster!

People don't find me very good-looking until I tell them I used to be 200 pounds heavier.

It's not true, but it sure changes their minds.

Why are married women...

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge, and go to bed, whereas married women come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge!

Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.

The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

According to the laws of physics, the heavier you are...

the more attractive you are.

What's heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?

The feathers of course.

200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.

I pick my women like I pick my watermelon.

A little rough with a discolored bottom and heavier than the appear.

What's the difference between your mom and a neutron star?

Around 75 pounds.

Your mom is heavier.

What's easier to pick up the heavier it is?

Women.

A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room

He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud banging and rumbling

Dad: Son what happened?

Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs

Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt

Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it

What gets heavier as it gets smaller?

A coffin.

A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by...

A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by. The sphinx said to the man "you may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"

The man thought for a moment and answered "imagination".

"Wrong", said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom".

A 50 kg woman , 50 kg of feather , and 50 kg of steel ,which one is heavier?

The woman

Because girls lie about their weight

What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane ? (Substitute 'litre' for 'gallon' if reading outside of USA)

Water because butane is a lighter fluid

Which one is heavier? A gallon of water or butane?

A gallon of water because butane is lighter fluid.

What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

The feathers.

Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

Which fluid is heavier? Water or butane?

Water. Butane is lighter fluid.

What's heavier. A liter of water or a liter of butane?

Water. Butane is lighterfluid

Why were older computers heavier?

Because they used a FAT file system!

Recently joined a Styx cover band

We play the same songs, but heavier. We're called Logz.

Water is heavier than butane because...

Butane is a lighter fluid.

Fowl Joke

Smaller babies may be delivered by Stork, the heavier ones need a Crane, and Swallows deliver none.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the heavier lighter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working heavier softer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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