Heavier Jokes
78 heavier jokes and hilarious heavier puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heavier that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a good laugh! This article will take your sense of humor to a whole new level with its collection of 'heavier than the usual' jokes that are sure to test your wit. Suitable for those who can handle the hefty and thicker jokes, these harder jokes will surely make you chuckle.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Heavier Short Jokes
Short heavier jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heavier humour may include short heaviest jokes also.
- What's heavier, a ton of brick or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
- What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? The feathers.
Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds. - *BOOM* Mom: what was that
Me: my shirt fell
Mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that
Me: I was in it - Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge. - The only things that defy gravity are women... ...the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
- Which one is heavier? A gallon of water or butane? A gallon of water because butane is lighter fluid.
- What's heavier, 1 lb of rocks, or 1 lb of feathers? The feathers, because you're carrying the weight of what you did to those birds.
- I'm going to open a restaraunt called pantera bread It will be similar to panera bread, but the food we serve will be much heavier
- Which is heavier? 1kg of steel or 1kg of feathers? The feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those birds.
- A 50 kg woman , 50 kg of feather , and 50 kg of steel ,which one is heavier? The woman
Because girls lie about their weight
Share These Heavier Jokes With Friends
Heavier One Liners
Which heavier one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heavier? I can suggest the ones about heavy and thicker.
- How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!
- What gets easier to pick up as it gets heavier? Women
- What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? A Woman
- What's easier to pick up the heavier it is? A girl.
- Water is heavier than butane because... Butane is a lighter fluid.
- What's heavier. A liter of water or a liter of butane? Water. Butane is lighterfluid
- Recently joined a Styx cover band We play the same songs, but heavier. We're called Logz.
- Water is heavier than butane. Butane is a lighter fluid
- What's easier to pick up the heavier it is? Women.
- Why were older computers heavier? Because they used a FAT file system!
- What gets heavier as it gets smaller? A coffin.
- To quote my late father... "Traffic is heavier than I expected."
- How do women defy science? The heavier they get, the easier to pick up!
- Why are humans getting heavier? There's a lot more of us
- According to the laws of physics, the heavier you are... the more attractive you are.
Heavier Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny heavier than jokes and even better heavier than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price I learned this on a price comparison site.
- Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity. The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
- What do bombs have in common with feminists? The heavier they are, the bigger they explode when triggered.
- I pick my women like I pick my watermelon. A little rough with a discolored bottom and heavier than the appear.
- Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork. But the bigger, heavier ones are delivered by a crane.
- What's heavier: a ton of gold or a ton of feathers? The feathers.
The gold's weight is measured using the Troy measurement system in which an ounce is 12 "regular" ounces.
The more you know... - Fowl Joke Smaller babies may be delivered by Stork, the heavier ones need a Crane, and Swallows deliver none.
- Time slows down around heavier objects - Einstein Which is why your mom is 40 and looks 22.
- After progressively lifting heavier weights, I was finally able to squat 600 pounds. Unfortunately, all that money still weighs less than a kilo.
- As technology gets lighter, thinner, and faster... People get heavier, thicker, and slower.
Charming Humor Heavier Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about heavier you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lighter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heavier pranks.
The two old-timers...
...were having a chat over the back fence.
"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."
"Why's that, Clem?"
"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love to your wife."
"Pfft! That shows how bad your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"
Three old men
Three old men are golfing. One of them complains,
"Ya know, the hills these days are getting steeper and steeper"
His buddy one chimes in:
"Yep, and the clubs are getting heavier. They were way lighter when we were younger"
The third old man patiently listening finally says,
"Oh quit whining you two, at least we're on the right side of the grass."
Why are married women heavier than single women?
When single women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in the fridge, and head for bed. When married women get home, they settle in, take a peek at what's in bed, and head for the fridge.
Smaller babies are always delivered by stork...
but the heavier ones need to be delivered by **crane**.
Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?
The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman.
According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.
b**..., I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic
So i had s**... with this heavier girl at a party last night...
I kinda feel bad cause she was super waisted.
What is both heavier and lighter than a plank?
...a plank-ton!
What's heavier 10 lbs of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers
The 10 pounds of feathers is heavier. Because you have to carry the burden of what you did to those poor birds.
You monster!
People don't find me very good-looking until I tell them I used to be 200 pounds heavier.
It's not true, but it sure changes their minds.
Why are married women...
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge, and go to bed, whereas married women come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge!
What's heavier? 200kg bricks or 200kg feathers?
The feathers of course.
200kg bricks it's just some measure of bricks. But, if you want to lift 200kg feathers you need also handle what you've done to all these poor birds.
A dad is sitting on the couch in his living room
He hears his son start walking down the stairs and then loud b**... and rumbling
Dad: Son what happened?
Son: it's nothing i just dropped my shirt down the stairs
Dad: it sounded a lot heavier than a shirt
Son: yeah it's because i was wearing it
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by...
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by. The sphinx said to the man "you may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered "imagination".
"Wrong", said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom".
What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane ? (Substitute 'litre' for 'gallon' if reading outside of USA)
Water because butane is a lighter fluid
Which fluid is heavier? Water or butane?
Water. Butane is lighter fluid.
I literally just last week realized there is no such thing as "the heavy end" 🤦
I am a 28 year old male, and for as long as I can remember every time me and my dad move something, such as a chair, or a couch, or a coffee table, he said "alright I'll get the heavy end" and idk why I always just assumed he was being nice and getting the heavier side.
And it literally just occurred to me within the last few weeks when we picked something up, there's no heavy end. They're both the same weight 😭😭😭
