Hearty Jokes
19 hearty jokes and hilarious hearty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hearty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From scrumptious puns to the sincerest of puns, enjoy hearty laughs with these hilarious jokes! Get ready for some good-hearted fun!
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Funniest Hearty Short Jokes
Short hearty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hearty humour may include short hefty jokes also.
- What do you call a girl who'll go home with any guy after he buy her a hearty Italian meal? A pasta-tute.
- My teenage son told me I am a resentful has-been. We had a good, hearty laugh together about that. Then i changed the WIFI password
- Things not to say in Subway 1. I would like a 6-inch Hearty Italian.
2. 6-inch doesn't fill me up.
3. Yes, give me more meat.
4. squirt more of that mayo.
5. I can't take a foot-long. - Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration? Because you can really party hearty!
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Hearty One Liners
Which hearty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hearty? I can suggest the ones about light hearted and cheerful.
- What does a pirate say when he's having a heart attack? "Arrrrrrrgh, me hearties!"
- What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure? A hearti*choke*.
... :D - How does a pirate tip his hat? "M'Hearty"
- The best Chuck Norris jokes? I cannot help but appreciate a hearty Chuck Norris gag.
- What do you get if you combine an o**... and jam? A hearty breakfast
Fun-Filled Hearty Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about hearty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hearty pranks.
Two atheists were lost in a desert.
Two atheists were lost in a desert. They had run out of supplies and were wandering aimlessly.
One morning, they encountered a Muslim. The Muslim asked, "What are your names?"
The first, figuring the Muslim would be more likely to help a fellow Muslim, lied and said, "My name is Mohammed."
The second stayed honest and said, "My name is Dave."
The Muslim gave Dave a hearty breakfast. He turned to "Mohammed" and said, "Fasting is so hard, isn't it?"
When I was Young
I once caught my grandfather sprinkling gunpowder onto his grits one Sunday morning. I asked him why he would do that.
He explained, "Kid, my father did this, and his father did this. If you do this as well, every day, it'll help keep you hale and hearty well into your golden years."
It must be true, since when he died last year, he was 97, and left thirteen children, twenty-seven grandchildren, twelve great grandchildren, four great great grand children, and a fifteen foot deep crater where the crematorium used to be.
Falklands veteran
A British officer spotted a busker in the London Underground with a sign that read: "VETERAN SOLDIER OF THE FALKLANDS WAR." The officer thought, "Poor chap, I was there and it was awful!" Feeling sorry for a fellow veteran, he took £20 out of his wallet and gave it to the busker. The officer was then greeted with a hearty: "Gracias, Señor!"
Jeff Bezos' Advice
An Amazon employee greets Bezos shortly after his successful spaceflight and gives him a hearty congratulations. Jeff responds, "Well, if you work hard, set yourself goals and work with determination, I should be able to squeeze in 2 more flights before Christmas."
Two Drunks and a Dog
Two extremely drunk men were stumbling toward home after leaving the bar one night. As they staggered through the backstreets they noticed a dog sitting on his front porch giving his tackle a hearty tongue bath. One of the men turns to the other and says
"You know, I wish I could to do that."
To which the second replies
"I bet if you ask him nicely he very well might let you."
I wrote this joke
Veterans day Bowe Bergdahl walks into an Applebees in his uniform.
Eats a hearty dinner, and is satisfied with it. Afterwards, the waitress comes over and asks. "Dessert sir?"
Bergdahl replies: "Already did"
A hearty laugh after a long time.
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
Final Exam
The Final Exam
There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to school until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The
guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.
The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy. Then they turned the page. On the second page was written...
For 95 points: Which tire? _________
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blond, a brunette and a redhead . . .
were in a breast s**... competition to cross the English Channel. They all dove in together on the shores of the UK. Across the Channel on the shores of France, the judges and media waited patiently.
After a few hours the redhead emerged from the waters to hearty cheers. About a half hour later, the brunette emerged to polite applause. But where was the blond?
They waited and waited. The sun was starting to set when the blond came out of the water, nearly dead from exhaustion. The few newsmen that remained rushed to her and asked if she had anything to say.
"Yes!" she gasped. "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think that brunette and redhead were using their arms!"
