Heartless Jokes
22 heartless jokes and hilarious heartless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heartless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make room for a few chuckles with the most heartless, interchangeable, spineless, and inhuman jokes out there. Ready to laugh with no conscience? Get ready to laugh at some of the most heartless jokes imaginable.
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Delightful Fun Heartless Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good heartless joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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Why is North Korea so heartless?
because they have no seoul
ahahahah.. please laugh
Three surgeons are talking about their favorite kinds of patients.
"My favorite patients are librarians." says the first surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because their organs are all in alphabetical order."
"My favorite patients are mathematicians." says the second surgeon. "They're easy to operate on because all their organs are numbered."
"My favorite patients are politicians." says the third surgeon. "They're the easiest to operate on because they have no guts, no brains, they're heartless and their heads and buttocks can easily be switched."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four Surgeons are getting coffee
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their a**... are interchangeable."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four surgeons
Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.
The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."
The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the a**... and head are interchangeable."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three Doctors
Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.'' Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They're gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.''
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say Kim Jong Un is heartless and a m**......
It's because he has no Seoul
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Another Tom Swifty
"I have only diamonds, clubs, and s**...," said Tom heartlessly.
I just saw the sacrifice scene in Apocalypto
It was so heartless!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blind Man: "Please help me, everyone keeps making n**... jokes about how my disability means I'm somehow inferior to them. I'm constantly hearing thoughtless, heartless reminders about how I'm different from other people, and lacking a sense they have."
World's Worst Therapist: "I see."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man catches his wife in bed with another man. He pulls out a gun...
...and holds it to his head, saying "I'm going to kill myself!"
His wife turns to her lover and says "See? I told you he was an idiot."
The man turns red-faced with anger and shouts "Oh, don't you worry, you heartless b**.... You're next!"
What do you call someone who is known for being heartless and cold to others?
Dead
The telegraph must be the most heartless invention...
...because Samuel had no remorse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought a defective pack of playing cards. It had only three suits and all the cards were jacks.
I'm still trying to get a refund from those heartless b**....
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ajit Pai is so heartless
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Heartless One Liners
Which heartless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heartless? I can suggest the ones about tasteless and apathetic.
- I just saw the sacrifice scene in Apocalypto It was so heartless!
- What do you call someone who is known for being heartless and cold to others? Dead
- The telegraph must be the most heartless invention... ...because Samuel had no remorse.
- Why is North Korea so heartless? because they have no seoul
ahahahah.. please laugh - They say Kim Jong Un is heartless and a m**...... It's because he has no Seoul
- Another Tom Swifty "I have only diamonds, clubs, and s**...," said Tom heartlessly.
- Ajit Pai is so heartless
- Why are Russians so heartless? Because o**... traders offer good price.
