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Hearted Jokes

34 hearted jokes and hilarious hearted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hearted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hearted Short Jokes

Short hearted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hearted humour may include short heart jokes also.

  1. A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years. To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
  2. My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!
  3. Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
  4. My mother used to say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.
  5. Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person. I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.
  6. Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
    Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
  7. As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies... That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!
  8. Son: Dad why is our food so cold and bland? Dad: It's because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
  9. "The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach." The surgeon was fired later that day.
  10. Although Steve Irwin was known as the crocodile hunter ....he will always have soft spot in his heart for stingrays

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Hearted One Liners

Which hearted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hearted? I can suggest the ones about brave and heartless.

  1. Whats the worst thing to hear during open heart surgery? Anything
  2. I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle... ..and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 😕
  3. My father has the heart of a lion... And also a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  4. I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
  5. I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  6. Yo mama so fat... ...she had an heart attack while running an app.
  7. I think my friend is a vampire I stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake and he died
  8. I have the heart of a lion... and a lifelong ban from the zoo.
  9. What is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades
  10. How many hearts can the Belgium football team break at once? About a brazilian...
  11. My grandfather has a heart of a tiger. He also has a lifetime ban at the zoo.
  12. Steve Irwin died the way he lived. With animals in his heart.
  13. How does a male farmer win the heart of a female farmer? Attract her.
  14. If I ever need a heart transplant.. I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
  15. I have the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban at the zoo

Light Hearted Jokes

Here is a list of funny light hearted jokes and even better light hearted puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted. The fifth one was dead Sirius.
  • What's the winter solstice's favorite type of movie? "Light-hearted" comedies.
  • We optical engineers are often called "narrow-focused" and "myopic". But, when viewed through the right lens, we represent a diverse spectrum of light-hearted people.
  • Sleep patterns are fascinating. There's light sleep, where your heart rate slows; deep sleep, where you can't easily be wakened; and REM sleep, where you lose your religion.
  • "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart ". Does that mean Iron Man is the most beautiful person on earth?
  • Have you ever had beef hearts? They're delicious So light and airy
  • Why aren't Tyler Perry movies for the light-hearted? They're dark comedies.
  • What do you call a b**... rat that steals all your food? A Rat-c**...


    Hope you guys are light hearted enough to not be offended.
Hearted joke, What do you call a b**... rat that steals all your food?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about hearted can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of hearted puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Hearted Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about hearted you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean light hearted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make hearted prank.

Fella rescued a damsel in distress.

Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized the time and jumped up with a start. Running around getting his clothes on, he said, "What am I going to tell my wife?" "Wait, do you have any baby powder" he asked. "Certainly" she replied. He dusted his hands with the powder and headed home.
Walking in the door, he was greeted by his wife demanding to know where he had been. So he told her the truth, how he had stopped to change a woman's tire then wound up spending the afternoon in bed with her.
His wife looked at him for a moment, then grabbed his hands looking at them. She screamed at him, "You s**..., you spent the day playing pool again, didn't you?"

Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.

They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.
The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.
Papa Bear said, "Me very thankful, me did a tankful."
Mama Bear said, "Me very grateful, me did a plateful."
Baby Bear said, "Me broken hearted, me only f**...."

Yesterday, I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person...

Today, I lost my job as a bus driver...
This world is too cruel for the kind hearted.

Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted c**...?

They are both crustaceans.

What do you call a cold hearted person who finally cries?

Cryogenic.

He thought Hoof Hearted would be a great name for a horse

Until he said it out loud

Is it just a coincidence that...

We agree more with Thanos and Donald Trump rather than good hearted world saving people.

Here I sit, broken hearted

Tried to f**...,
But then I sharted.

Hearted joke, Here I sit, broken hearted

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these hearted jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.