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Heartburn Jokes

29 heartburn jokes and hilarious heartburn puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heartburn that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Heartburn Short Jokes

Short heartburn jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heartburn humour may include short indigestion jokes also.

  1. I could never figure out why birthday cake gave me heartburn. Apparently you're supposed to blow out and remove the candles first.
  2. I used to get heartburn when I ate cake... Till a doctor told me to take the candles off first!
  3. My friend Gav recently passed away after suffering from heartburn I can't believe Gaviscon
  4. Patient got heartburn. A patient goes to his doctor and says, every time I eat cake I get heartburn
    The doctor responds, next time remove the candles first
    Now upvote me for my cake day
  5. Why did the hippie driver refuse heartburn medication? Because anti-acid would ruin the trip
  6. I wondered why my heartburn medicine was making me depressed... Turns out I was drinking Pepto-Dismal.
  7. I mixed up my Zantac and Xanax again... Now I have massive heartburn but I really don't care.
  8. My friend Gav died last night from taking too many heartburn tablets... I can't believe Gavisgon
  9. Did you hear that Gavin died? Yeah, I know… I think it was heartburn.
    I can't believe Gaviscon.
  10. Why did the doctor prescribe formic acid for a patient with heartburn? Because it's an ant-acid.

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Heartburn One Liners

Which heartburn one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heartburn? I can suggest the ones about heart break and heart attack.

  1. What do you call an orthodox jew that is prone to heartburn? Acidic.
    [My apologies]
  2. Such a sad day - a friend of mine died of heartburn Still can't believe Gaviscon
  3. Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn? It was a stake sandwich.
  4. Why do white girls help fight heartburn? Because they're so basic.
  5. My friend Gav died of heartburn the other day Gaviscon
  6. Why do some people take formic acid to treat heartburn? Because it is a type of ant-acid
  7. What did the gay paraplegic take for heartburn? Rolaids
  8. What do you call heartburn after giving a rim job? a**...-id Reflux
Heartburn joke, What do you call heartburn after giving a rim job?

Comical Heartburn Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about heartburn you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flatulence jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heartburn pranks.

A Doctor was chatting at a party with a Chartered Accountant.

He asked, "How do I manage this delicate issue when people even at a party like this ask me about their joint pains and heartburn and gas trouble. Just because I am a doctor.... not fair!"
The CA friend replied coolly, "Just tell them the right things politely but send them a bill from your clinic the next morning... only once! Word will soon get around and it will stop immediately!"
"Wow! Thanks for the tip, said the doctor."
Next morning the doctor got a bill from his CA friend, "Consulting charges for Business Development."

Two ants are eating burgers...

When the first ant says, "oh I'm getting heartburn. I need to take some antacid."
The second ant replies, "don't kill yourself! Think of your wife and kids!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

My Grandpa told me this one

A lady has been sitting at the bar all night pounding down drinks and she's completely hammered. She's so drunk that she can barely talk, but she's trying to converse with the bartender anyways.
"You know, I really like these martoonis," she slurs, "but I don't like the cherries in them, they give me heartburn."
The bartender looks at her for a minute, shakes his head and replys: "First of all, lady, those aren't martoonis, they're martinis. Second, those aren't cherries, they're olives. And that's not heartburn, your t**...'s in the ashtray.

Heartburn joke, My Grandpa told me this one