Heartbeat Jokes
12 heartbeat jokes and hilarious heartbeat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heartbeat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Heartbeat Short Jokes
Short heartbeat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heartbeat humour may include short pulse jokes also.
- TIL that a baby can recognize its mother's heartbeat due to how much time they spent inside their mom I can also recognize your mom's heartbeat.
- When a wife keeps her head on your chest and slowly asks "Dear, do have any woman in your life other than me"?
Remember answer is not important at this time..Important is heartbeats. - Some people will tell you that a rapid irregular heartbeat isn't a big deal, but that's a-fib.
- Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president.
But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president - Jonny: "Babe, you know I would marry you in a heartbeat, but your dad would never let us!" Sarah: "Honey... ...dew you think we cantaloupe?"
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I know, its bad. I'm sorry.
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Heartbeat One Liners
Which heartbeat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heartbeat? I can suggest the ones about heart beats and hart.
- What do you call a midget's heartbeat? Impulse.
Laughter Heartbeat Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about heartbeat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean timer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heartbeat pranks.
A lawyer was interviewing a doctor about the death of a patient
"When you examined the patient, did you check his pulse?" asked the lawyer.
"I didn't" said the doctor.
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" said the lawyer.
"No, I did not" the doctor said.
"So in other words" the lawyer said "When you signed the death certificate you had NOT taken adequate steps to confirm he was dead."
"Well, let me put it this way," said the doctor- "At that point, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk. But for all I know I guess he could've been out practicing law somewhere!"
This was my grandma's favourite joke
Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"
If somebody offered me a coin flip to either get 10 million dollars or instantly die, I'd accept in a heartbeat. A 50 percent chance to solve all my problems would be amazing!
And even if I lost the flip, I'd still get some money.
At an ecumenical round-table discussion, various religious leaders tried to answer the question "When does life start?"
"At conception," said the Catholic priest.
"No, no," said the Presbyterian minister. "It begins at birth."
"It's in between," said the Baptist. "Life begins at 12 weeks when the fetus develops a functional heartbeat."
"I disagree with all of you," said the rabbi. "Life begins when your last child leaves home and takes the dog with him."
A woman is visiting her doctor.
The doctor is monitoring her heartbeat with a stethoscope.
Woman: (*jokingly*) Tell me doctor, how much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten
Woman: Ten what?
Doctor: Nine...
A lady goes to the doctor...
The doctor uses a stethoscope to measure the heartbeat of the lady and immediately discovered something strange.
Doctor: I'm sorry to say this but it's fatal and you do not have long to live
Lady: How long?
Doctor: Ten
Lady: Ten? Ten what?!
Doctor: Nine...
biometric test
*When your wife keeps her head on your chest and slowly asks, Dear, do you have any women in your life other than me ?*
*Remember your answer is not important at this time, what is important is your heartbeat. Keep your heart in control, Don't panic. It's just your biometric test.?*