Heart Transplant Jokes

44 heart transplant jokes and hilarious heart transplant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart transplant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Heart Transplant Short Jokes

Short heart transplant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heart transplant humour may include short transplant jokes also.

  1. I'm looking for someone with a good heart, not someone with good looks. Please I really need that heart transplant
  2. The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
  3. We have a first successful pig heart transplant. Bacon is now both the cause and the solution of our heart problems.
  4. I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me But then I had a change of heart
  5. A man waiting for a heart transplant... ... says "I only want the heart of a dead lawyer." "Why?" asks the doctor.
    "I want one that's never been used."
  6. The hospital told me I needed a cardiac transplant, and initially I agreed to it. But then I had a change of heart.
  7. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
  8. Losing my virginity was alot like performing a heart transplant operation. Someone had to die for it to happen.
  9. Something went wrong with my heart transplant The Surgeon said his heart wasn't in the right place.
    That makes two of us.
  10. I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?" I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"

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Heart Transplant One Liners

Which heart transplant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heart transplant? I can suggest the ones about heart surgery and blood transfusion.

  1. If I ever need a heart transplant.. I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
  2. My cousin was going to get a heart transplant But then he had a change of heart.
  3. I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...
  4. After my heart transplant I've really had a change of heart.
  5. Cardiac transplant surgeons Really have a heart for their patients.
  6. My father asked how my transplant went. Didn't have the heart to tell him.
  7. I wasn't going to have a cardiac transplant But then I had a change of heart
  8. I used to be against o**... transplants, then I had a change of heart
  9. I used to disapprove of o**... transplants… But I've had a change of heart
  10. My patient was refused his o**... transplant. But I didn't have the heart to tell him.
  11. My heart is like an onion... I'm never getting a discount o**... transplant again
  12. "Our hearts go out to everybody in need of a transplant." - Every o**... donor ever

Hilarious Heart Transplant Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about heart transplant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kidney donation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heart transplant pranks.

A Patient Needs a Heart Transplant

The surgeon tells the patient, "You are in luck; we have two matching donors! A twenty-year-old athlete and an eighty-year-old lawyer. Which heart do you want?"
The patient answers, "Give me the lawyer's heart. That one hasn't been used yet."

A surgeon offers a patient his choice of two hearts for transplant.

The 1st heart belonged to a 22 year old Olympian in peak physical condition who died tragically.
The 2nd heart belonged to an 80 year old obese sedentary politician.
Without thinking twice, the patient chooses the 2nd heart.
Shocked by his choice, the surgeon asks Why did you choose that heart?
The patient responds Because I know that heart has never been used.

Today, David received the first-ever pig-to-human heart transplant...

When he came home, his wife had some bad news.
But before she could say anything, he pleaded, don't go bacon my heart!


An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.

The doctor says, 'We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.'
'I'll take the lawyer's heart,' says the patient.
'Why?' asks the doctor.
The patient replies, 'It's never been used.'

Hospital statistics

A recent study has identified the hospital operations with highest rate of mortality.
In the United States it's open heart surgery.
In Australia it's liver transplants.
And in Russia it's opening a window…

Did you hear about the man that got a heart transplant from a dog?

The operation was a complete success other than the fact every time the hospital mailed the bill for the cost of the operation the man would bury it in the backyard.

People who have undergone a heart transplant are generally quite indecisive after the procedure.

They will always have a change of heart.

What does the wife of a suicidal man say to him after his succesful heart transplant?

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

I had heart transplant, then I broke up with my girlfriend...

I had a change of heart, and I was pumped

I used to be opposed to o**... transplant...

But after having one done myself; I guess I've had a change of heart.