Heart Transplant Jokes
42 heart transplant jokes and hilarious heart transplant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart transplant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Heart Transplant Short Jokes
Short heart transplant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heart transplant humour may include short transplant jokes also.
- I'm looking for someone with a good heart, not someone with good looks. Please I really need that heart transplant
- The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
- We have a first successful pig heart transplant. Bacon is now both the cause and the solution of our heart problems.
- I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me But then I had a change of heart
- Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
- Losing my virginity was alot like performing a heart transplant operation. Someone had to die for it to happen.
- Something went wrong with my heart transplant The Surgeon said his heart wasn't in the right place.
That makes two of us. - I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?" I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"
- People who have undergone a heart transplant are generally quite indecisive after the procedure. They will always have a change of heart.
- What does the wife of a suicidal man say to him after his succesful heart transplant? "Why the sudden change of heart?"
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Heart Transplant One Liners
Which heart transplant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heart transplant? I can suggest the ones about heart surgery and blood transfusion.
- If I ever need a heart transplant.. I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
- My cousin was going to get a heart transplant But then he had a change of heart.
- I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...
- After my heart transplant I've really had a change of heart.
- Cardiac transplant surgeons Really have a heart for their patients.
- My father asked how my transplant went. Didn't have the heart to tell him.
- I used to disapprove of o**... transplants… But I've had a change of heart
- My patient was refused his o**... transplant. But I didn't have the heart to tell him.
- My heart is like an onion... I'm never getting a discount o**... transplant again
- "Our hearts go out to everybody in need of a transplant." - Every o**... donor ever
Hilarious Heart Transplant Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about heart transplant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kidney donation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heart transplant pranks.
A Patient Needs a Heart Transplant
The surgeon tells the patient, "You are in luck; we have two matching donors! A twenty-year-old athlete and an eighty-year-old lawyer. Which heart do you want?"
The patient answers, "Give me the lawyer's heart. That one hasn't been used yet."
A surgeon offers a patient his choice of two hearts for transplant.
The 1st heart belonged to a 22 year old Olympian in peak physical condition who died tragically.
The 2nd heart belonged to an 80 year old obese sedentary politician.
Without thinking twice, the patient chooses the 2nd heart.
Shocked by his choice, the surgeon asks Why did you choose that heart?
The patient responds Because I know that heart has never been used.
Today, David received the first-ever pig-to-human heart transplant...
When he came home, his wife had some bad news.
But before she could say anything, he pleaded, don't go bacon my heart!
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Hospital statistics
A recent study has identified the hospital operations with highest rate of mortality.
In the United States it's open heart surgery.
In Australia it's liver transplants.
And in Russia it's opening a window…
Did you hear about the man that got a heart transplant from a dog?
The operation was a complete success other than the fact every time the hospital mailed the bill for the cost of the operation the man would bury it in the backyard.
I had heart transplant, then I broke up with my girlfriend...
I had a change of heart, and I was pumped
An Arab needed a heart transplant
, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the calls went out to a number of countries.
Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank-You Card for giving his blood along with an Expensive Diamond and a New Rolls-Royce car as a token of his appreciation. The Jew was very happy. Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank-You Card and a box of Dates (Qurma) Candies.
The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew's find gesture in the same way as he had done the first time. So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner. The Arab replied: "Ya habibi !!! I have Jewish blood now, remember?
Playing with fate
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. Will I die? she asks.
God says, No. You have 30 more years to live.
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she's in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she's discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. You said I had 30 more years to live, she complains.
That's true, says God.
So what happened? she asks.
God shrugs. I didn't recognize you.
A heart transplant
A patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in a car accident, the 2nd is a 35 year old businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?"
"I'll take the lawyer's heart," said the patient.
After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy," said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heart transplant
One of the city's homeless women needed a heart transplant, but when they finally had found a donor, she was very nervous. "What if my body rejects this o**...?" She asked the surgeon.
"Well, you have very good health, apart from the heart," replied the surgeon. "What kind of job do you really?"
"Actually I have been a p**... since I was 18," said the woman. "But what has that to do with it?"
"Well," said the doctor. "If you have not rejected a o**... the past ten years, it is very unlikely that it would happen now."
An Arab needed a heart transplant
, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the calls went out to a number of countries.
Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank-You Card for giving his blood along with an Expensive Diamond and a New Rolls-Royce car as a token of his appreciation. The Jew was very happy. Unfortunately, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank-You Card and a box of Dates (Qurma) Candies.
The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew's find gesture in the same way as he had done the first time. So he phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very generous manner. The Arab replied: "Ya habibi !!! I have Jewish blood now, remember?
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.
“Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains. “That’s true,” says God. “So what happened?” she asks. God shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you.”