Heart Jokes
175 heart jokes and hilarious heart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need some humorous heart jokes to share with the special someone in your life this Valentine's Day? Check out our collection of rib-tickling cardiac puns and comical puns about the human heart!
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Funniest Heart Short Jokes
Short heart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heart humour may include short hart jokes also.
- A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years. To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
- My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!
- Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
- My mother used to say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Lovely woman. Useless surgeon.
- Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person. I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.
- Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag." - As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies... That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!
- Son: Dad why is our food so cold and bland? Dad: It's because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
- "The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach." The surgeon was fired later that day.
- Although Steve Irwin was known as the crocodile hunter ....he will always have soft spot in his heart for stingrays
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Heart One Liners
Which heart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heart? I can suggest the ones about chest and pulse.
- Whats the worst thing to hear during open heart surgery? Anything
- I have the heart of a lion, the eyes of an eagle... ..and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 😕
- My father has the heart of a lion... And also a lifetime ban from the zoo.
- I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
- I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
- Yo mama so fat... ...she had an heart attack while running an app.
- I think my friend is a vampire I stabbed him in the heart with a wooden stake and he died
- I have the heart of a lion... and a lifelong ban from the zoo.
- What is the worst time to have a heart attack? During a game of charades
- How many hearts can the belgium football team break at once? About a brazilian...
- My grandfather has a heart of a tiger. He also has a lifetime ban at the zoo.
- Steve Irwin died the way he lived. With animals in his heart.
- How does a male farmer win the heart of a female farmer? Attract her.
- If I ever need a heart transplant.. I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
- I have the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban at the zoo
Heart Attack Jokes
Here is a list of funny heart attack jokes and even better heart attack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- To all of you idiots out there that drive loud cars, we hate you and get off our roads. We don't care how many heart attack victims you have to take to the hospital.
- It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack. If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.
- A woman has a heart attack in a plane. The stewardess asks "Is there a doctor on board?".
A person comes forward and announces "I'm a vegan." - My grandfather died at auschwitz He had a heart attack after he saw the gift shop prices.
- "I think i'm having a heart attack. Quick! Dad, call me a doctor..." "You're a Doctor."
- Heart-Attacks are overrated I mean your heart works non-stop all of your life, would it kill you if the poor guy took a break for 5 minutes ?
- What do you call a black guy having a heart attack? An ambulance.
- Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken
- I pushed a random old guy's Life Alert to see what would happen. He got so angry, he had a heart attack.
Good thing the ambulance was already on it's way. - What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives? A 'murical.
Heart Doctor Jokes
Here is a list of funny heart doctor jokes and even better heart doctor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because his doctor said stakes were bad for his heart.
source: My 7 year-old. - So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says,
"Big breaths."
And she says,
"Thankth! I grew them mythelf!" - What's the worst thing to hear at an antivax rally? "He's having a heart attack! Is anyone here a doctor?"
- A man waiting for a heart transplant... ... says "I only want the heart of a dead lawyer." "Why?" asks the doctor.
"I want one that's never been used." - I went to the doctor to get a cognitive test. The cardiologist told me You're not very bright but your hearts in the right place.
- I had to be rushed in for an emergency open heart surgery today, My doctor grinned as he handed me a scalpel, "Fixing your heart yourself would give you a sense of pride and accomplishm-..."
- A doctor was listening to a teenage girl's heart "All right," he said, "take big breaths."
"What?" she said.
"Big breaths!"
"Yeth!" she said. "And I'm only thixteen!"
- What do doctors call a tiny heart? Kevin
- My doctor told me to drink hard alcohol for my depression... Turns out absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
- My grandfather was telling me about his Purple Heart. I told him he should really see a doctor.
Heart Break Jokes
Here is a list of funny heart break jokes and even better heart break puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The England Football Team visited an Orphanage in Russia yesterday.. "It's heart breaking to see their little faces with no hope", said Vladimir, aged 6.
- As a Dad, it breaks my heart to see how quick my kids are to blame others. They get that from their mother.
- The Argentina team visited an orphanage in Russia - It breaks my heart to see those poor eyes filled with sadness and hopelessness..
said one of the orphans. - My heart sank when i received a text from my gf " I can't take this anymore,let's break up " You can imagine the tears of joy I had when i received a follow up message
"Sorry ,wrong number" - Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
- Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart" I couldn't if I tried.
- My grandma is very conservative. It would break her heart if she knew I was bi -partisan.
- A tongue has no bones but it is strong enough to break a heart and.. is also strong enough to lift the pelvic bone.
- Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them.
- There's a limit on how many hearts you can break Its <3
Heart Transplant Jokes
Here is a list of funny heart transplant jokes and even better heart transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm looking for someone with a good heart, not someone with good looks. Please I really need that heart transplant
- The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
- We have a first successful pig heart transplant. Bacon is now both the cause and the solution of our heart problems.
- I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me But then I had a change of heart
- The hospital told me I needed a cardiac transplant, and initially I agreed to it. But then I had a change of heart.
- Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
- My cousin was going to get a heart transplant But then he had a change of heart.
- I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...
- Losing my virginity was alot like performing a heart transplant operation. Someone had to die for it to happen.
- After my heart transplant I've really had a change of heart.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Heart Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about heart you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean card jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heart pranks.
A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital.
He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
Am I in heaven? asks the disoriented priest.
No says one of the nurses. We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward.
My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.
They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!
For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.
Frank and Harry are at their golf club...
As Frank gets set to take his swing, a f**... procession goes by. He steps back, takes his hat off and holds it over his heart. Harry walks over, puts his hand on Frank's shoulder and says "That was a thoughtful thing to do". To which Frank replies "It was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years."
The Heart Attack
THE HEART ATTACK
A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband n**... lying on the bed,
sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to use the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son says
"Mummy mummy, aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom
right past her husband..rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is
her sister, totally n**... and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten b**...', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around
n**... playing hide and seek with the kids!!'
So an old lady's husband dies...
The old lady depressed and wants to kill herself goes to the doctor and asks him "Where is the heart located?" The doctor tells her it is under the left breast. The old lady goes to the gun store and buys a gun, goes home and puts the gun under her left breast and pulls the trigger. The old lady was soon admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.
A Very Nice Golfer
There are two men playing golf, at the end of the range you can see a f**... procession going by. As the hearse drives by followed by a few cars one man kneels down, takes off his hat and puts it over his heart, and says a prayer.
The man next to him says, "Well that's the nicest thing I've ever seen a golfer do!" The man stands up says "Well it's the least I could do, I was married to her for 35 years..."
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
An old lady was tired of her hard life and wanted to commit s**....
She decided the best way to die was to shoot herself through the heart, but she doesn't know where the heart is. So she called her doctor and asked.
The doctor told her the heart is located 2 inches below the left n**....
The old lady hung up and shot herself in her knee.
A lawyer undergoes heart surgury, and is in bed in the recovery area
As he wakes up, he notices the room is dark, and a doctor is standing there. He asks the doctor, "Why did you close all the window shades?"
The doctor says, "There was a large fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you didn't survive the operation."
I was hungover this morning so I phoned work and said to the boss...
.. "I'm afraid I won't be in today, my father had a massive heart attack and died last night."
"That was your last chance Dave," he said, "I'm taking the 'and son' off the shop sign."
Why do you make more money?
A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?"
The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is running."
Blonde Co-Pilot
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."
Ending It All
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left n**....
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery.
But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.
A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
Sunday Morning s**...
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
Two women meet in heaven...
There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but, to her surprise, only found her husband sitting in the den reading a book. But convinced there was another women in the house, she frantically started destroying the house looking for the other women until she was so exhausted that her heart just stopped working. Amazed at the story, Lydia looks at Carol and says, "If you would have looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
An old cowboy told his grandson...
An old cowboy told his grandson "The secret to a long, healthy life is to put a pinch of gunpowder in your oatmeal every morning." The grandson took this advice to heart, and everyday for the rest of his life put a pinch of gunpowder in his oatmeal every morning. When he died at the age of 132 he left behind 5 children, 12 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren, 78 great great grandchildren, and a 50 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
My Grandma E-Mailed me this one
When you drink v**... over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink r**... over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends.
Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart
and stopped littering
My rabbi told me this one.
An orthodox Jewish man is about to go through heart surgery.
Before his doctor begins, he asks the Jewish man if he's ever had a surgical operation before, and if so, how it went.
The Jewish man responds, "I've only had surgery one time, and I couldn't walk for a year and a half."
My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a s**..., a club, and a diamond, all without my permission.
I guess I'll deal with him later.
Did you hear about the 80 year old woman that tried to kill herself?
She was told that the most effective way would be to shoot herself through the heart, just below her left breast... She woke up in hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
Little Johnny... Finding Jesus
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"
The vaccine conspiracy
Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:
"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"
"No, autism is a condition that develops during pregnancy"
After getting well, she met her friends and told them about her experience:
"Girls, I have awful news: the conspiracy goes way higher than we've thought"
A little girl walked into a pet shop and asked in the sweetest lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shop keeper's heart melted, he got down on his knees to her level, asking: "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like this cute widdle bwown wabbit over here?"
The little girl leaned forward and said: "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip.
I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one.
My Dad has the heart of a lion
and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice
A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach...
...of an island and is surrounded by a group of warriors.
I'm done for, the man cries in despair.
No, you are not, comes a booming voice from the heavens. Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab a spear and push it through the heart of the warrior chief.
The man does what he is told, turns to the heavens, and asks, Now, what?
The booming voice replies, Now you are done for.
What gave h**... a heart attack?
Seeing his gas bill
A woman is in the hospital in a coma...
and the husband is in the waiting room. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her c**..., her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes o**... s**... will bring her out of the coma.
The husband enters the room. Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room, asking what happened. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. I think she choked."
I love my ribcage.
It is very close to my heart.
Marriage is like a deck of cards
At the start all you need is a heart and a diamond.
By the end you just want a club and a s**...
A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane...
Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?!
Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan.
How do you kill a vegan?
A steak through their heart.
An old woman wants to commit s**......
...by shooting herself in the heart, but she doesn't really know where the heart is.
She goes to the local doctor and asks;
"Doctor, can you please tell me where the heart is?"
"Oh, it's just below your left breast."
So the old woman walked home and shot herself in the knee.
A jew in his deathbed...
A jew in his deathbed is surrounded by his family. He asks if the wife is there; she was. He asks if his son was there; he was. He asked if his daughter was there, and she was.
As he finds out everyone's there, he has a heart attack. His final words were:
-Why... is no one... in the shop...
The Pope is teaching a Sunday school class
"Children" begins the Pope. "Where's Jesus today?"
Little Tommy says: "He's in my heart."
Little Barry says: "He's in Heaven."
Little Davey says: "He's in our bathroom."
The surprised Pope asks Little Davey how he knows this.
"Well," says Little Davey, "every day my Dad bangs on our bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?"
Hopefully George Michael was an o**... donor...
... so on his last Christmas he gave someone his heart
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion!
And a ban from the cincinnati zoo
My in-laws couldn't cope when their cat unexpectedly had 9 kittens, so my wife told me to put them in a sack and throw them in the river…
I did it but it broke my heart.
I quite liked her dad…
Most people think I'm sick and twisted...
But I'm not! I have the heart of a little girl.
In a jar.
On my desk.
A famous heart surgeon died and everyone was gathered at his f**.... A coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone had paid their respects, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him said, control yourself man.
I'm sorry, he replied, I was thinking about my own f**....
What's so funny about that?
I'm a gynecologist.
Last night a man attacked me.
Last night when i was coming home from work a man attacked me. He silently put the knife to my t**... with his hand covering my mouth.. I think that's it, I'm done. He takes out his business card, gives it to me and leaves. With a pounding heart and shortness of breath, I read it.
It said : *Self-defense courses.*
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...
...that way, you don't have to break open that s**... ribcage.
My wife bites her lip to look s**...
I just don't have the heart to tell her you're meant to bite the bottom lip.
My mom says that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Her malpractice suit isn't going so well.
A grandmother goes to the doctor
A grandmother goes to the doctor and asks: "Where is the heart?"
The doctor answers: "2 centimetres below the n**..."
Next day in the newspaper: "Woman tries to commit s**... and shoots herself in the knee"
My wife tried to be s**... by biting her lips at me...
...I didn't have the heart to tell her that you're supposed to bite your *bottom* lips
My uncle was the first man to be fitted with a lead pacemaker. He died last week.
We buried him with a heavy heart.
A boy asks his father: "Dad, why is the food so cold and bland?" The dad replies:
Your mum put her heart and soul into it.
Having s**... while camping is NOT for the faint of heart.
It's f**...' in tents
It makes my heart race when my GF puts her head in my lap during long road trips
So now I only let her do it when it's my turn to drive
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
Last Request
Two convicts who were about to be executed, The warden says to the first one, 'Do you have a last request?'
The convict says, 'Yes, I'd like to hear the song Achy Breaky Heart one last time.'The Warden says, 'OK, I think we can arrange that.' Then he says to the second convict, 'How about you?' The second convict says, 'Yeah, kill me first.'
A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."...
...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"
An elderly couple were on vacation in Israel
While they were there the wife suddenly dies of a heart attack.
A local mortitian explains the husband that it would cost him 100$ to bury her in Israel but it would cost him 3.000$ to have her transported to America tp have her buried at home.
The husband thinks about it for a while and then says to the mortitian that he would like to have her transported home.
The mortitian asks the why he wouldn't let her be buried in Israel when he could save a lot of money!
The husband then says "well I've heard of a guy who died and was buried here many years ago and he came back after three days. I'm not gonna risk that!"
What's a pirate's favourite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but 'tis the C his heart truely belongs to.
I played "My Heart Will Go On" on a public piano and people yelled at me.
Can't wait till this cruise is over.
British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced
British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut out a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. 4 years ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."