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Heart Failure Jokes

10 heart failure jokes and hilarious heart failure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart failure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Heart Failure Jokes with Friends.

What is a good heart failure joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...

"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."

My Grandma E-Mailed me this one

When you drink v**... over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink r**... over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends.

Pill commercials nowadays be like

After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!
Consult a doctor if you're experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision, nasal congestion, loss of sight, kidney failure, hernia, heart attacks, strokes or knee pain after using derpatine

Before I begin today's lecture

I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: s**... and its complications.

I REMEMBER WHEN MICHAEL JACKSON WAS IN THE CARDIAC WARD FIGHTING HEART FAILURE.

Now they tell me he was in the children's ward having a s**....

Last Christmas I gave you my heart,

But the very next day, I had heart failure.

What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

A hearti*choke*.
... :D

My dearest friend died a few days ago from extreme heartburn and indigestion ultimately leading to heart failure.

I still can't believe that Gav is gone.

Yo mama so fat...

.....she's gonna have congestive heart failure. Seriously man, get her to a doctor

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Heart failure

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