Heart Failure Jokes
8 heart failure jokes and hilarious heart failure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart failure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Heart Failure Jokes with Friends.
What is a good heart failure joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Grandma E-Mailed me this one
When you drink v**... over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink r**... over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends.
Pill commercials nowadays be like
After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!
Consult a doctor if you're experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision, nasal congestion, loss of sight, kidney failure, hernia, heart attacks, strokes or knee pain after using derpatine
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Before I begin today's lecture
I'd like to relay an anecdote from my days as a student. My classmate and I both loved the same girl. In the end, she chose him and I was left with heartbreak. But my classmate was left with heart failure. Which brings me to today's subject: s**... and its complications.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I REMEMBER WHEN MICHAEL JACKSON WAS IN THE CARDIAC WARD FIGHTING HEART FAILURE.
Now they tell me he was in the children's ward having a s**....
What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?
A hearti*choke*.
... :D
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Heart failure
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken.
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