Heart Condition Jokes
13 heart condition jokes and hilarious heart condition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart condition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Heart Condition Short Jokes
Short heart condition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heart condition humour may include short heart break jokes also.
- Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions? Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.
- After breaking up with my girlfriend, I got a device to monitor the condition of my heart. There was only one problem... It was broken.
- So a horse walks into a bar and has a heart attack... He gets rushed to the hospital and a friend comes to visit.
"is he okay?" The friend asks.
The doctor replies "He's in a stable condition."
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Heart Condition One Liners
Which heart condition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heart condition? I can suggest the ones about heart attack and heart surgery.
- What heart condition would an orange most likely have? Heart pulpitations
- What heart condition did the pirate have? ARRythmia
Heart Condition Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about heart condition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heart doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heart condition pranks.
The vaccine conspiracy
Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:
"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"
"No, autism is a condition that develops during pregnancy"
After getting well, she met her friends and told them about her experience:
"Girls, I have awful news: the conspiracy goes way higher than we've thought"
A surgeon offers a patient his choice of two hearts for transplant.
The 1st heart belonged to a 22 year old Olympian in peak physical condition who died tragically.
The 2nd heart belonged to an 80 year old obese sedentary politician.
Without thinking twice, the patient chooses the 2nd heart.
Shocked by his choice, the surgeon asks Why did you choose that heart?
The patient responds Because I know that heart has never been used.
Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.
They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.
The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.
Papa Bear said, "Me very thankful, me did a tankful."
Mama Bear said, "Me very grateful, me did a plateful."
Baby Bear said, "Me broken hearted, me only f**...."
One day Nick's wife asked him "What will he do if she were to die". Nick replied "I'll also die". She asked him "Why?" Nick replied
"Well, you know I have a heart condition and most likely I would not be able to tolerate that much happiness".
A fat r**... went to a doctor to check on his heart condition.
The doctor advised him to stop eating meat with high fat contents, while low fat meat are still OK to eat. The r**... was confused which are which, so the doctor gave simple explanation; "You may only eat animal which swims in the water, like fishes for example."
A week later, the doctor went to the r**... house to check on him. The doctor found him around a pool in the back of his trailer. The doctor asked "What are you doing here?". r**... answered "Oh hi mister doctor, I'm just teachin ma cow to swim."
A wife accompanies her husband to a follow up appointment at his doctor.
Things go normally, but as they are about to leave the doctor asks if he can talk to her privately. The husband goes to the waiting room.
The doctor tells the woman, "I didn't want to scare him, but your husband has a very serious heart condition. As long as he is treated properly, he should live a long life."
"What do we need to do?" says the wife.
"Well, you are going to have to keep him calm and relaxed at all times. Don't make him do anything around the house. Message him if he feels stressed. Cook his favorite meals. Let him watch what he wants on TV. Anything you can do to keep him happy and relaxed."
The wife leaves the office and her and her husband get in the car.
"I'm dying to know, what did he want to say to you?" says the husband.
"You have two weeks to live."