Heart Break Jokes
48 heart break jokes and hilarious heart break puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heart break that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Heart Break Short Jokes
Short heart break jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heart break humour may include short broken heart jokes also.
- A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years. To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
- The england football Team visited an Orphanage in Russia yesterday.. "It's heart breaking to see their little faces with no hope", said Vladimir, aged 6.
- Heart-Attacks are overrated I mean your heart works non-stop all of your life, would it kill you if the poor guy took a break for 5 minutes ?
- As a Dad, it breaks my heart to see how quick my kids are to blame others. They get that from their mother.
- The argentina team visited an orphanage in Russia - It breaks my heart to see those poor eyes filled with sadness and hopelessness..
said one of the orphans. - My heart sank when i received a text from my gf " I can't take this anymore,let's break up " You can imagine the tears of joy I had when i received a follow up message
"Sorry ,wrong number" - Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
- A tongue has no bones but it is strong enough to break a heart and.. is also strong enough to lift the pelvic bone.
- Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them.
- Never break someone's heart. They only have one of them. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
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Heart Break One Liners
Which heart break one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heart break? I can suggest the ones about heart attack and heart condition.
- How many hearts can the belgium football team break at once? About a brazilian...
- Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart" I couldn't if I tried.
- My grandma is very conservative. It would break her heart if she knew I was bi -partisan.
- There's a limit on how many hearts you can break Its <3
- What four words would break Reddit's heart? Mr. Rogers touched me.
- Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
- Why did Demi Lovato overdose on oxycodone? She wanted to give her heart a break.
- People alway say you cant die from a heart break Steve Irwin
also i am sorry - How do you break a Japanese girls heart? You drop the bomb on her Twice.
Heart Break Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about heart break you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heart beats jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heart break pranks.
You can break a girl's head with a simple stone, and with a precious stone, you can break a girl's heart. But the wise say it is better with a simple one.
This one's a groaner for sure, but still fun. Happy Halloween!
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him, he hears
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket b**... its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man sprints toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping-clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud c**... the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and.......
The coffin stops
A farmgirl returns home after her first year away at college...
Her father picks her up at the train station and starts driving back to the farm.
After a while the young lady turns to her father and says, "Daddy, I`ve got to tell you something - I ain`t a v**... no more."
Without taking his eyes off the road, the farmer replies,"Sugar-pie, to hear you say that it just breaks my heart. We saved all that money to send you away to get you educated proper, and you`re still using the word "ain`t" ".
BREAKING NEWS: Bruce Willis had a fatal heart attack while he was having s**......
He is said to have died hard
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
Just read this in an email, thought it worthy of sharing.
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him he hears:
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket b**... its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud c**... the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
The coffin stops
My heart sank when I received the text message "I am breaking up with you. It's over between us" from my partner.
But "Sorry, wrong number baby" came afterwards. Whew, what a relief!
My friend proposed the name "Cecilia" to her husband for the name of their first child. He said no. She responded:
"You're breaking my heart"
In the wake of the Coastal Carolina scandal, it breaks my heart that we, as a society have young people that are forced...
...to pay women from South Carolina for s**....
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...
...that way, you don't have to break open that s**... ribcage.
BREAKING NEWS: A Large Object With a Pointy Stick and Round End Was Found Spinning in the Heart of Downtown
And that's our top story of the night.
After breaking up with my girlfriend, I got a device to monitor the condition of my heart. There was only one problem...
It was broken.
A person sees an old man crying on a park bench...
Their heart breaks for the man and they walk up so see if he's ok.
"What's matter?"
"I have a beautiful wife," says the man.
"Um, ah ok, but"
"She's young and beautiful" the man repeats and continues sobbing.
"Ok, ok but why are you crying?"
"She cleans the house, cooks delicious dinners, we even had s**... ever other day"
"I'm sorry, I really don't understand why would things make you cry. Your wife sounds amazing"
"I can't remember where I live..."
This probably isn't the place to post this.
My heart breaks! VERY SAD DAY TODAY. A good friend of mine, after 7 years of medical school and training, has been fired for one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training, and money. Even worse, is the fact that he is still paying off his school loans. This just goes to show how one little mistake can ruin your life. Thoughts for him and his family. He really is a great person, and a brilliant Veterinarian.
Step on a crack, you break your mother's back...
Turn around and smoke the crack, you break your mother's heart.
We are only a few weeks into self-isolation and it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard about how I can cheer her up.
I have even considered letting her in - but rules are rules.
BREAKING NEWS: Ghislaine Maxwell, former on again / off again partner of Epstein, has been arrested by the FBI.
In other news, Prince Andrew has just suffered a heart attack, Bill Clinton has suddenly developed Alzheimer's, and all prison guards at Maxwell's detention centre have suddenly had to take long naps...
Went down the pub...
I went to a pub yesterday evening and ordered a pint. As the landlord put my drink down, I asked him for the wifi code because I needed to check a message.
"Oh no" he said, "No wifi in here, people used to sit talking in pubs, about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot. Now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see. Therefore, no wifi in this pub."
"You know what?" I replied, "You're right" and I put my phone away.
"Thank you", the landlord said "In this pub I want you to act as you would twenty years ago".
So I lit a cigarette, gave him 50p for the pint and said "Two can play at that game mate."
A man walks into a museum.
While wandering, he trips and breaks a vase.
He panicks and picks the pieces up.
But the curator appears and almost has a heart attack.
"What have you done! that vase was 2000 years old." He shrieks.
"Oh thank God." The man sighs in relief. " I thought it was brand new."
Winner
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.