Hearing Aids Jokes
130 hearing aids jokes and hilarious hearing aids puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hearing aids that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Hearing Aids Short Jokes
Short hearing aids jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hearing aids humour may include short hearing problem jokes also.
- An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?" The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."
- My dad bought himself a new hearing aid. "It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
"Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
"Two-thirty." - A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
What do we want?
Hearing aids!
When do we want them?
Hearing aids! - My grandma got a new hearing aid. It was $5, she said.
What kind is it? I asked.
Ten-o-clock. - my grandma talking to my dad about her new hearing aid "it's the most expensive one u can buy, it cost me $4,000.
my dad: "what kind is it?"
my grandma: "it's 4:15pm" - The hearing-aid A man is dining in a restaurant and speaks to a waiter.
Man: Excuse me sir, I found a hearing-aid on my plate.
Waiter: What? - People think listening to a really great song and having an eargasm is great Thats until you get hearing aids
- My new hearing aids are so good, they're restored my hearing fully - That's awesome, how long have you had them?
- About 200$ - I've decided to start a buisness selling hearing aids to pirates I'm going to charge a buccaneer
- The doctor says to the old man "Sir, i see what the problem is. You've got a suppository stuck in your ear!"
And the old man says, "well, now i know what happened to my hearing aid!"
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Hearing Aids One Liners
Which hearing aids one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hearing aids? I can suggest the ones about hearing loss and hearing test.
- What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? acting surprised
- Which STD is transmitted through sound? Hearing aids
- I sent my hearing aids in for repairs three weeks ago I haven't heard anything since
- When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid... ... she becomes a Def Leppard
- Would the man who lost his hearing aid PLEASE come and retrieve it at the lost and found
- What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
- What do you get if you share your Earbuds with all your friends? Hearing AIDS.
- What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear? Hearing AIDS
- What's the worst thing about earrape? You could get an ear infection, like hearing AIDS
- I told my doctor I have hearing aids... ... but he insists it's just an ear infection...
- I keep telling my Grandma that she needs hearing aids... ...but she just won't listen.
- I scream, you scream Because one of us doesn't have a hearing aide
- Was speaking to the person who is fixing my hearing aids Heard nothing since then
- Did you hear about the Band Aid that got scammed he was ripped off really bad
- Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid? Neither did he.
Hearing Aids Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about hearing aids you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hearing related jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hearing aids pranks.
A couple celebrating their 50th anniversary had many well wishers stop by to congratulate them.
After all of their guest had left, the two settled into recliners.
“Mother,” the man said, “our marriage is tried and true.”
“What’s that you say?” she asked. “You know I can’t hear without my hearing aid.”
“I said, our marriage is tried and true,” he repated, a little louder.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the child with AIDS? it never gets old. I own an abortion clinic called "Don't Kid Yourself"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So---there was this woman who had a problem with silent gas
and she went to the doctor and she said, "This is so embarrassing. I have this problem of f**... silently. You probably haven't noticed, but I've let three of them since I've been in this office with you. Is there ANYTHING you can do?" He said, "Yes, but the first thing is to get you fitted for a hearing aid."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear that David Copperfield has aids now?
Yea, he was doing Magic.
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What is the biggest danger to an ear f*cker?
Hearing AIDS.
Son's earring
d**... up my a**...
Hearing aid
An older woman is talking to her neighbor one day about her brand new hearing aid. "It may have cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art, everything sounds great, and so far, I love it!"
Her neighbor asks, "What kind is it?"
She replies, "It's about 12:30. You wanna get some lunch?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the s**... promiscuous deaf person?
Turns out he got hearing aids.
Two old men were sitting together when one of them pointed out a suppository sticking out of the other's ear.
The other didn't respond immediately, but after a few moments, realisation seemed to dawn on him. "Oh, thanks!" he said "*Now* I know where I put my hearing aid!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the deaf person get after having s**... with a h**...?
Hearing AIDS.
Two old people...
Two old people sitting on a park bench. First guy says "hey I just got this new hearing aid. It's great! It's super comfortable, you can't even see it when I'm wearing it and it only cost me $160!"
"Wow, what kind is it?" Asks the other.
"About a quarter to one."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got aids in prison..
Hearing aids. I should've used them though, I might've been able to hear the guy that snuck up on me in the shower and gave me h**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly man goes to the Doctors...
He's having problems hearing and he wants to know if his hearing aid is broken. The Doctor takes a look and recoils in shock. He then proceeds to pull a t**... out of the man's ear. "This is why you can't hear. There's a t**... in your ear not a hearing aid. The man then asks if he can use the Doctor's phone to call his wife. "Why?" the Doctor asks. The man smiles and replies "So I can tell her where my hearing aid is".
The Greatest Old Guy Joke of all Time
There was an old guy who took suppositories as a medication. One time he went to a resaurant with his wife, she said,"What is a suppository doing in your ear." The old man says,"Oh! now I know where my hearing aids are!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is unprotected ear s**... unsafe?
You can get hearing aids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men with hearing aids are walking down the street
One of them says,
"Brr, it's windy today, ain't it?"
The second man responds,
"No, it's Thursday you idiot."
The last one says,
"Me too, let's go get a drink."
Hearing Aid.
An elderly gent was showing off his new hearing aid to a friend.
"This is the finest hearing aid on the market today" he bragged "I paid over £500 for it".
His friend asked "What Kind is it?"
He replied "Half past five".
Two men get into an elevator
Two men get into an elevator in a doctors office. One man, beaming says to the other, "I just got a brand new hearing aid. It works great; if you were to drop a pin, I could hear it; if a mouse were to sneeze cross the street, I would hear it." The second man replies "thats impressive, what kind is it?" The first man looks down at his watch and says "11 o'clock."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear David Copperfield got AIDs?
He did Magic.
Waiter!
Waiter, theres a hearing aid in my soup
Waiter:what?
I told my grandpa he should wear his hearing aids
but he won't listen
Im a doctor and I saw an 85 year old patient with aids the other day..
Turns out they were hearing aids
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had unprotected phone s**... once...
Now I have hearing aids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Did you hear the one about the s**... promiscuous citrus fruit?
He got lemon aids.
New hearing aide
A friend of mine got new a hearing aid and he was ecstatic over how much better he could hear.
"It's like night and day", he said. "I can't believe all the sounds I was missing"
I asked, "What kind is it?"
He answered "about a quarter to four"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you have ear s**...
You get hearing aids
There was a recall on my hearing aid but I never heard about it.
Grandpa...why is there a suppository in your ear?
Oh... THAT's where my hearing aid went!
Did you hear about the fish that went deaf?
It had to buy a herring aid
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the only result for Ear-r**...?
Hearing AIDS.
Why did the hearing aid salesman quit his job for a life of piracy?
Because he only ever made a good Buccaneer
Did you know that Magic Johnson was in the video for Michael Jackson's Remember The Time?
Maybe that's why I now have hearing aids....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are most people against wearing used ear buds?
Because they might carry hearing AIDS
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
So she wouldn't get hearing aids.
Last week somebody came in my ear
now I have hearing AIDS.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I made a device that lets me hear diseases.
Hearing cancer is great and all, but hearing AIDS s**....
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Jesus may have been offended
Elderly couple in church during Easter mass. Wife turns to husband and says, "I have just done a silent f**..., what should I do?" Husband says, "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"
My family and friends always told me I was an 'artistic person'.
Finally got a hearing aid and...
well...
let's just say that was *not* what they were trying to tell me.
My girlfriend asked me, "what are we going to do with your eyesight?"
"we're going to have to buy a larger hearing aid."
Did you hear about the guy that got arrested in Vegas for helping people learn to gamble?
He was charged with aiding a betting.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why does the grim reaper need a hearing aid?
Because he's deaf.
Sharing earbuds and headphones spreads disease
How do you think I got hearing aids?
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Green thumb
Did you hear about the vegisexual?
She picked up gardening AIDS.
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What do you get when someone with h**... ear-f**... you?
Hearing AIDS.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You have to be careful if you're going to have phone s**....
You might get hearing aids.
Hearing Aid
My neighbor just told me, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get from having too much phone s**...?
hearing AIDS
Read a story recently about a guy who went deaf as a result of having acquired immune deficiency syndrome.
He had hearing aids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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No matter what they tell you, ear s**... simply isn't a good idea
That's how you end up with hearing aids
If anyone needs advice on where to buy a good hearing aid, just say the word
...twice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old ladies were talking in a coffee shop.
Agnes, you have a suppository in your ear.
**Agnes**: So *that's* where my hearing aide went.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was shocked when the doctor said i had h**... in my ears.
Turns out i just need hearing aids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the result of unprotected ear s**...?
Hearing AIDS.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... through the ear is a new trend
but now hearing aids are spreading
My Grandma told me all her friends had AIDS...
I told her I was sorry for them and she asked me to speak up.
She too had AIDS,
\*hearing aids\*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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TIL h**... can cause hearing loss.
I guess the patients must have hearing aids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why did the woman wear c**... earnings?
So she wouldn't get hearing aids
Did you hear the rumours?
No. What are they?
Apparently your hearing aids are secondhand.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so i took her hearing aids
It backfired. Everything i say falls on deaf ears..
Why did the blonde put condoms in her ears?
Because she was scared of getting hearing aids!
My grandfather was telling me about his new top-of-the-line hearing aid.
"Yeah, it's the most expensive model they had! It cost me almost $6000!"
"What kind is it?"
"About a quarter past 6."
My grandad just got a new hearing aid and was telling me about it.
He said, "It's top of the line, really expensive."
I asked, "What type is it?"
He said, "2:30."
I heard you got a new hearing aid
- I heard you got a new hearing aid.
- Oh, yes. It's very expensive but also very good.
- Nice. And how's your family?
- It's half past seven.
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My friend called with some bad news
Him: I got hearing aids.
Me: My god, I'm so sorry. I didn't even know you had hearing h**....