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Hearing Aids Jokes

131 hearing aids jokes and hilarious hearing aids puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hearing aids that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Hearing Aids Short Jokes

Short hearing aids jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hearing aids humour may include short hearing problem jokes also.

  1. An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, "I've let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?" The husband says, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."
  2. My dad bought himself a new hearing aid. "It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
    "Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
    "Two-thirty."
  3. A group of deaf people get together to protest The group begins chanting
    What do we want?
    Hearing aids!
    When do we want them?
    Hearing aids!
  4. My grandma got a new hearing aid. It was $5, she said.
    What kind is it? I asked.
    Ten-o-clock.
  5. my grandma talking to my dad about her new hearing aid "it's the most expensive one u can buy, it cost me $4,000.
    my dad: "what kind is it?"
    my grandma: "it's 4:15pm"
  6. The hearing-aid A man is dining in a restaurant and speaks to a waiter.
    Man: Excuse me sir, I found a hearing-aid on my plate.
    Waiter: What?
  7. A group of hard of hearing people are protesting "What do we want?"
    "Hearing aids!"
    "When do we want it?"
    "Hearing aids!"
  8. Did you hear about the new Black Barbie? It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
  9. People think listening to a really great song and having an eargasm is great Thats until you get hearing aids
  10. My new hearing aids are so good, they're restored my hearing fully - That's awesome, how long have you had them?
    - About 200$

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Hearing Aids One Liners

Which hearing aids one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hearing aids? I can suggest the ones about hearing loss and hearing test.

  1. What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? acting surprised
  2. "What do we want?" "HEARING AIDS!"
    "When do we want them?"
    "HEARING AIDS!"
  3. Which STD is transmitted through sound? Hearing aids
  4. I sent my hearing aids in for repairs three weeks ago I haven't heard anything since
  5. Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? So she wouldn't get hearing aids.
  6. A week ago I sent my hearing aid to be repaired... I haven't heard anything since.
  7. Did you hear that David Copperfield has aids now? Yea, he was doing Magic.
  8. When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid... ... she becomes a Def Leppard
  9. Why does the grim reaper need a hearing aid? Because he's deaf.
  10. Would the man who lost his hearing aid PLEASE come and retrieve it at the lost and found
  11. When a cougar needs hearing aids, what is she now called? A deaf leopard.
  12. What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
  13. What is the biggest danger to an ear f*cker? Hearing AIDS.
  14. What do you get if you share your Earbuds with all your friends? Hearing AIDS.
  15. What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear? Hearing AIDS

Hearing Aids Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about hearing aids you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hearing related jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hearing aids pranks.

A couple celebrating their 50th anniversary had many well wishers stop by to congratulate them.
After all of their guest had left, the two settled into recliners.
“Mother,” the man said, “our marriage is tried and true.”
“What’s that you say?” she asked. “You know I can’t hear without my hearing aid.”
“I said, our marriage is tried and true,” he repated, a little louder.

The Silent f**...

An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.
She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I've just let go a silent f**.... What do you think I should do?"
He said, "I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid."

An elderly couple was sitting in church...

when the wife leans over and tells her husband, "I just let out a silent f**.... What should I do?"
The man replies, "First thing you should do is adjust your hearing aid."

So---there was this woman who had a problem with silent gas

and she went to the doctor and she said, "This is so embarrassing. I have this problem of f**... silently. You probably haven't noticed, but I've let three of them since I've been in this office with you. Is there ANYTHING you can do?" He said, "Yes, but the first thing is to get you fitted for a hearing aid."

Hearing aid

An older woman is talking to her neighbor one day about her brand new hearing aid. "It may have cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art, everything sounds great, and so far, I love it!"
Her neighbor asks, "What kind is it?"
She replies, "It's about 12:30. You wanna get some lunch?"

Did you hear about the s**... promiscuous deaf person?

Turns out he got hearing aids.

The doctor says to the old man

"Sir, i see what the problem is. You've got a suppository stuck in your ear!"
And the old man says, "well, now i know what happened to my hearing aid!"

An older couple is sitting in church

when the wife passes a note over to her husband. It says
"I just let a silent but deadly f**... loose. What should I do?"
The husband replies
"Get your hearing aid checked."

I used to have phone s**...

now I have hearing aids

Old couple in church...

An old couple is sitting in church one morning, listening to a sermon, when the wife whispers, "I just let out a silent f**.... What should I do?"
Her husband whispers back, "Well, for starters, you can put a new battery in your hearing aid."

An Elderly Couple

An elderly couple Pauline & Frank were recently attending a church service at their retirement village.
About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank.
The note said:" I just let out a silent f**..., what do you think I should do?"
Frank scribbled back: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

Two old people...

Two old people sitting on a park bench. First guy says "hey I just got this new hearing aid. It's great! It's super comfortable, you can't even see it when I'm wearing it and it only cost me $160!"
"Wow, what kind is it?" Asks the other.
"About a quarter to one."

An elderly man goes to the Doctors...

He's having problems hearing and he wants to know if his hearing aid is broken. The Doctor takes a look and recoils in shock. He then proceeds to pull a t**... out of the man's ear. "This is why you can't hear. There's a t**... in your ear not a hearing aid. The man then asks if he can use the Doctor's phone to call his wife. "Why?" the Doctor asks. The man smiles and replies "So I can tell her where my hearing aid is".

I keep telling my Grandma that she needs hearing aids...

...but she just won't listen.

The Greatest Old Guy Joke of all Time

There was an old guy who took suppositories as a medication. One time he went to a resaurant with his wife, she said,"What is a suppository doing in your ear." The old man says,"Oh! now I know where my hearing aids are!"

Three men with hearing aids are walking down the street

One of them says,
"Brr, it's windy today, ain't it?"
The second man responds,
"No, it's Thursday you idiot."
The last one says,
"Me too, let's go get a drink."

What's that again?

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

An elderly couple was sitting together in church...

The wife leans over to the husband and says "I just let out a really long and silent f**.... What should I do?"
The husband replies "Change the battery in your hearing aid."

An elderly couple sits in church

The old lady leans over and whispers, "I just let out a really big silent f**..., what should I do? "
The old man says, "you should replace the batteries in your hearing aid. "

I had unprotected phone s**... once...

Now I have hearing aids.

I had phone s**... once...

It gave me hearing AIDS

I tried phone s**... today

I ended up with hearing aids

Don't have phone s**.......

You could get hearing aids.

An elderly couple was attending church services.

About halfway through, she leans over and says to him: "I just had silent passing of gas, what do you think I should do?"
He leans over to her and replies:
" Put a new battery in your Hearing Aid."

New hearing aide

A friend of mine got new a hearing aid and he was ecstatic over how much better he could hear.
"It's like night and day", he said. "I can't believe all the sounds I was missing"
I asked, "What kind is it?"
He answered "about a quarter to four"

Two elderly women sitting on a bench....

One leans in and says "I just pulled a silent but deadly". The other leans back and says "I think you need a new hearing aid.
(I'm not taking creds for this I didn't make it up)

Grandma and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa are sitting at church on Easter Sunday, and Grandma leans over and whispers, "I just let out a silent f**..., what should I do?"
Grandpa leans back and replies, "You should get new batteries for your hearing aids!"

Why is having phone s**... such a bad idea?

There's a good chance you'll get hearing AIDS

An elderly couple are at the cinema...

About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent f**...; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

What is the only result for Ear-r**...?

Hearing AIDS.

Went to the doctor today and my many years of phone s**... has finally caught up with me.

I have hearing AIDS now.

An elderly couple are sitting in a church

The man lets out a silent f**... while the priest is talking.
He then says to his wife "I've let out a silent f**..., everyone here will smell it. What do I do?"
His wife then says to him, "You get your hearing aids fixed"

Jesus may have been offended

Elderly couple in church during Easter mass. Wife turns to husband and says, "I have just done a silent f**..., what should I do?" Husband says, "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

An old couple is sitting in church

The wife turns to the husband and says, "I just let out a silent f**.... What should I do."
"Put new batteries in your hearing aids."

My family and friends always told me I was an 'artistic person'.

Finally got a hearing aid and...
well...
let's just say that was *not* what they were trying to tell me.

All those years of phone s**... has caught up with me...

I now have hearing aids

An elderly couple are in church

"I've just let out a silent f**...." The old lady whispers to her husband "what should I do?"
"Put new batteries in your hearing aid!!"

You have to be careful if you're going to have phone s**....

You might get hearing aids.

What do you get from having too much phone s**...?

hearing AIDS

Old lady in a fancy restaurant leans over to her hubby and says , I've done a silent f**... what should I do?

Husband says 'change the batteries in your hearing aids

I tried phone s**... once

Ended up getting hearing aids

No matter what they tell you, ear s**... simply isn't a good idea

That's how you end up with hearing aids

Classic church joke

An old couple was sitting in church when the wife says, "I just let out a silent f**.... What should I do?" Her husband responded, "Change the batteries in your hearing aids."

An elderly couple was sitting in a church...

An elderly couple was sitting in a church and the woman turned to her husband and said "I f**... silently, what should I do now?"
The husband replied, "You need to change the batteries for your hearing aid"

A woman turns to her husband sitting in church one Sunday morning and quietly says,

I've just let a silent f**.... What should I do?
Her husband leans over to her and replies, Get a new battery for your hearing aid.

I was shocked when the doctor said i had h**... in my ears.

Turns out i just need hearing aids.

What's the result of unprotected ear s**...?

Hearing AIDS.

A Man and Wife in Church

Wife: I've just made a silent f**...... can you smell it, what should we do?
Husband: Turn up your hearing aid!

What's the only type of STD you can get from phone s**...?

Hearing AIDS

I told my doctor I have hearing aids...

... but he insists it's just an ear infection...

Went to an Audiologist and got hearing aids.

Turns out all those years of phone s**... caught up with me.

I've decided to start a buisness selling hearing aids to pirates

I'm going to charge a buccaneer

TIL h**... can cause hearing loss.

I guess the patients must have hearing aids.

What's the worst thing about earrape?

You could get an ear infection, like hearing AIDS

I scream, you scream

Because one of us doesn't have a hearing aide

I used to be a phone s**... operator,

But I got hearing aids.

A grandma is bragging to her daughter about new hearing aid that cost her $2000

The daughter asks "What kind is it?"
"It's 5:45 dear"

Statistically, older people are the most common carriers of AIDS...

Hearing Aids, Walking Aids, Seeing Aids...

I had phone s**... last night.

Now I have hearing aids.

What did the deaf h**... get for her birthday?

Hearing aids

A mate of mine got addicted to phone s**...

....
He ended up with hearing aids

I guess all that phone s**... has caught up to me in my old age,

I now have Hearing AIDS

- My new hearing aids are so good, they've restored my hearing to its full potential

- That's awesome, how long have you had them?
- About 200$

Two old ladies were attending a church service

And about half way through one says:
"I just did a silent f**..., what do you think I should do?"
The other woman proceeds to lean over slowly and say:
"Put some new batteries in your b**... hearing aids!"

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art.

Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."