Healthy Heart Jokes
4 healthy heart jokes and hilarious healthy heart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about healthy heart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Healthy Heart Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good healthy heart joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor said my heart's not healthy enough for s**... so d**..., I'm gonna die doing what I love:
Traumatizing my wife!
No climbing stairs
A woman went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor said there seemed to be a slight heart problem and advised her to take some pills for two weeks and then come back.
"Most of all, don't climb any stairs," advised the doctor.
"But we have a two story house," protested the patient.
"Well, I understand that," said the doctor, "but it's important that you don't climb any stairs."
Two weeks later, she came back and the doctor pronounced her hale and healthy.
"Can I climb stairs again?" she asked.
"Of course," answered the doctor.
"Good," said replied, "because I was getting tired of climbing up that drainpipe every night."
A heart transplant
A patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in a car accident, the 2nd is a 35 year old businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?"
"I'll take the lawyer's heart," said the patient.
After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy," said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman goes with her husband to the doctor for his exam.
After the exam, the doctor pulls the wife aside and says: "Your husband is suffering from severe long term stress, and he is a good candidate for a heart attack or s**.... If you don't do the following three things he will surely die.
First, every morning fix him a healthy breakfast.
Second, when he gets home make him a warm, nutritious dinner and don't burden him with house hold chores.
Third, have s**... with him several times a week."
On the way home, the husband asks the wife " I saw the doctor talking to you and he looked serious. What did he say?"
Wife: " He says you're gonna die."
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