Healthy Eating Jokes
49 healthy eating jokes and hilarious healthy eating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about healthy eating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Healthy Eating Short Jokes
Short healthy eating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The healthy eating humour may include short healthy food jokes also.
- Chocolate is bad Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate cause it's not healthy!
Guy: My grandfather lived 108 years.
Taxi driver: Eating chocolate?
Guy: No, minding his own business. - The reason why many Americans don't eat healthy, is because eating healthy would cause you to lose weight. And America never loses
- Subway A restaurant that managed to convince everyone that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
- I make my girlfriend work out 5 times a week and eat healthy. I don't want her getting fat like my wife.
- I said to myself, "Thomas, today is the day you start eating healthy and exercising". Thank God my name isn't Thomas!
- Why don't people believe me when I tell them I have a date every night? What's wrong with eating healthy?
- What does Thanos like to eat? A healthy and perfectly balanced breakfast. As all breakfasts should be.
- My doctor told me to drink less, sleep more, eat healthy & exercise everyday. So today I'm making a big change in my life. I'm no longer going to that doctor.
- The best part about working out and eating healthy food: Eventually you'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore.
- Subway The company that managed to convince people that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
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Healthy Eating One Liners
Which healthy eating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with healthy eating? I can suggest the ones about healthy diet and eating healthy.
- What healthy item does Joe Biden enjoy eating? Forbiden fruit
- Why are tightrope walkers so healthy? They eat well-balanced meals.
- You should really eat more turnips. They're really healthy Turnip, for what?
- They say you are what you eat No wonder my healthy grandma died as a vegetable.
- In 2017 I'm going to start eating healthy again. This marks the end of my cheat decade.
- What does a healthy zombie eat? Vegans
- I heard it was healthy to eat nuts So I've been eating lots of doughnuts
- I eat healthy every day For about six hours
Between breakfast and lunch - Eating pork isn't healthy. Especially not for the pigs.
- Why are tightrope walkers so healthy? Because they always eat well-balanced meals
- How do people with s**... fetishes stay healthy? They eat lots of corn
Cheerful Fun Healthy Eating Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about healthy eating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean healthy living jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make healthy eating pranks.
An old man is being interviewed on live TV
Hello everybody. We are with Michael, who is 97 years old. Michael, tell us, what's your secret?
During the war, I s**... off a enemy soldier in exchange for food.
I meant about your age.
Ah… Eating healthy.
A priest wants to know how he can become a better priest..
.. so he asks the bishop. The bishop had only two points to make.
"Eat healthy and exorcise daily"
(Just thought of this on the can, is there any ways I can improve on it? Or do you know of any similar jokes to lighten up my day?)
An old man and his wife die...
An old man and his wife die in an accident and go to heaven. There, an angel gives them a beautiful house by the beach and everything they want. All they have to do is stay in the vicinity and enjoy themselves.
The old man turns to his wife and says: "You idiot! We could have come here 10 years ago, but noooo, you wanted to eat healthy"
A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy
Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"
A 5-year-old sat next to a pregnant lady.
Boy: Why is your tum-tum so huge?
Lady: Because I have a baby inside it.
Boy: Is it a nice baby?
Lady: It is a very nice healthy baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?
5 easy steps for eating healthier today
1. Go to kitchen
2. Look around in search of healthy snack
3. See cake sitting on counter
4. Eat all of it
5. Leave kitchen
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
A kid takes a taxi home while he eats a chocolate bar....
Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate cause it's not healthy!
Kid: My grandfather lived 108 years.
Taxi driver: Eating chocolate?
Kid: No, minding his own business.
Sean Connery's doctor told him...
...that it wasn't healthy to keep eating entire eggs, shells and all. "Just give it up for 40 days in the spring, and I bet you'll feel better."
The actor took his advice, and returned after 40 days.
"How was it?" the doctor asked.
Sean Connery smiled. "Eggshell-Lent!"
They say six is afraid of seven because seven ate nine. But why? Seven did the healthy thing.
...eat three squared meals a day.
Well, I finally have my resolutions written down for the new year.
Already planned to:
- Exercise at least three times a week
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet
- Get regular healthy sleep
- Spend more time reading, less time playing games
- Less energy drinks, more water
I'm going to turn my life around. This year is going to be great!
When I was a child I had a rare condition that meant I had to eat dirt 3 times a day to be healthy
Lucky my older brother told me about it really
My girlfriend told me I should start eating healthy food...
So when I went to McDonalds for lunch, I decided: 2 BLT.
Finally !! 6 weeks without any sugar. Running 5 miles each day. stopped eating dairy and flour. The change in my body has already been fantastic! I feel great! Eating a healthy diet that is completely gluten-free and sugar-free. And working out for up to 2 hours every day! Lost 10Kgs.
I don't know whose status this is, but I was really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste it.
An old man was sitting next to a kid
And he saw the kid eating a lot of chocolate, pack after pack...
So the man asked the kid: do you think it's healthy for you eating all that chocolate?
So the kid answered: My grandpa died at 100 years old
-And you think it's because he ate chocolate?
-No, it's because he minded his own business.
Today marks 5 weeks of isolation...
I'm walking 2 miles a day, no meat, dairy or flour. Eating fresh vegetables and home cooked meals every day. The change has been fantastic! I feel great!
Zero alcohol, a healthy diet, gluten free, caffeine free, sugar free and a 1 hour home workout each day! Lost 20 lbs and gained muscle mass. I've even cut my screen time in half and am reading a book a week.
I have no idea who wrote this, but I am really proud of them so I decided to copy and paste.
A kid once asked his father during dinner, "Dad, is eating flies healthy for you?"
The dad, disgusted, quickly replied, "hush now son, we don't discuss things like that over dinner. Ask me later."
Afterwards, the dad approached his son and asked him, "now, remind me of what you wanted to ask again?"
The son replied, "oh don't worry about it now dad. There was a fly floating in your soup before, but it's gone now."
A little girl is in a taxi with her mother
The little girl was eating a chocolate and soon after she finishes the first one she opens a second one.
The taxi driver trying to make some conversation says to the little girl:
TD: "Are you sure all that chocolate is healthy for you?"
Girl: "You know, my grandfather lived for 135 years"
TD surprised: "Because he ate so much chocolate?"
Girl: "No, because he was minding his own business"
My non-vegetarian friend told me to eat chicken, it's very healthy.
I said no, it WAS healthy but you ate it.
[OC] I came up with it on the toilet
My personal trainer told me eat healthy like he does. I eat healthy, but not like him. He eats super clean and that is hard for me. I asked him what would be the benefit for me? He said he eats so clean he doesn't even have to p**... anymore.
I think he's full of c**....
Breakfast
Since we're all dad's here (our women and non-reproducing friends included) I'm hoping you can help me with some kid advice. You see my kids are always arguing they want sugary breakfasts. Froot-Loops and Pop Tarts or what have you.
How can I get them to eat something healthy?
My kids are imporridgable
The owner of my local health food store asked me if I wanted to know the secret of a long and healthy life.
"Sure -- let me know!", I replied.
He said, "Eat two raw onions every day."
"How could that possibly be a secret?"