Healthcare Jokes
79 healthcare jokes and hilarious healthcare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about healthcare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for Halloween with these spooky, dark, and sometimes silly healthcare jokes. From American healthcare to government-provided services to medical providers, get ready to laugh out loud with these healthcare-related gags!
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Funniest Healthcare Short Jokes
Short healthcare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The healthcare humour may include short health care jokes also.
- I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID. But, no one else would get it.
- For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse. At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.
- You can tell that Wolverine is a canadian character written by an American His superpower is healthcare
- What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil? The American Healthcare System
- I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween. I won't be leaving the house.
(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.) - I had my wife dress as a nurse and get on top last night. That's the closest to healthcare coverage I've had since I was 26.
cries in American - If you can't afford healthcare... Go to an airport. They give free x-rays and mammograms, and if you mention al-Qaeda, they'll throw in a free colonoscopy too!
- There's zero difference between US and European Healthcare.... ...well, lots of zeroes...usually added to the end of the bill.
- Charging $500 for a $5 case of water is considered price gouging. What is charging $500 for a $5 bag of saline called? Healthcare.
- Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare? Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment
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Healthcare One Liners
Which healthcare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with healthcare? I can suggest the ones about health insurance and health wellness.
- What does the H in America stand for? Healthcare
- I have a joke about universal healthcare but americans wont get it.
- What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes? Americans don't get them.
- Americans won't get this Free healthcare
- What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out? A paramedics.
- What do you call the fish in charge of healthcare? The sturgeon general.
- Do you wanna hear a joke? The American healthcare system.
- I heard the employee healthcare plan for Apple is awful It only covers iDoctors
- Healthcare Costs in America
- Why did aliens vote for Bernie Sanders? Universal Healthcare
- What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people? Death.
- What does the the f in U.S.A stand for? Free healthcare
- What does 'U' in America stand for? Universal healthcare
- What's red and bad for your teeth? The new Republican healthcare plan
- What is the best gift for a hypochondriac? Free Healthcare
American Healthcare Jokes
Here is a list of funny american healthcare jokes and even better american healthcare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If the NSA built the website for healthcare... Americans would have been signed up before they knew it...
- A joke about world-geography is kind of like healthcare ... Lots of Americans just won't get it.
- Personally, I don't get why people complain about American Healthcare It ranked 3rd in North America
- A European and an American European: Wanna hear a joke?
American: Sure.
European: Free Healthcare.
American: I don't get it.
European: I Know. - American healthcare costs are out of a control A simple double amputation cost me an arm and a leg!
- Roseanne perfectly represents the reality of American life 100 million dollars in the bank and still worrying about how to afford healthcare
- One of the perks of being Native American is the free healthcare clinics all you have to do is walk through the Casino.
- The American healthcare system...
Healthcare Cost Jokes
Here is a list of funny healthcare cost jokes and even better healthcare cost puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They said Canada has free healthcare, but after I got in a car accident and needed to have two limbs amputated... The cost was an arm and a leg!
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Healthcare Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about healthcare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean medical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make healthcare pranks.
I asked my wife to fake an accent from a developed country tonight...
to fullfill my fantasy that we have healthcare.
America was not shut down properly.
Would you like to restart America in safe mode, with free healthcare & without the guns? (Recommended)
Conservatives want to repeal Obamacare
and replace it with a single prayer healthcare plan
What healthcare program is offered to the citizens of Pakistan?
OsamaCare... It's the bomb.
Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series?
Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Canadians have free alphabet healthcare?
Because of all their sore E's
Donald Trump does not tell lies.
He said everyone would be covered under his Healthcare plan.
He just forgot to mention that the poor would be covered by 6 feet of dirt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a dollar for every time the Trump Administration s**... up...
I could afford healthcare without the ACA.
I call my toilet the oval office..
It's got a think tank, and a pipeline for delivering healthcare reform.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Protests on TV are demanding diversity, same s**... relationships, gender free norms, free healthcare, cultural enrichment, free education, drugs, income equality - I found the perfect place that has all this for them.
Prison.
Republican healthcare:
Pay an extra $5.99/month to use Google to search for the symptoms you have that you can't afford to have treated.
Hear about the game of Life Millennial Edition?
There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.
My main job is as a male nanny, but I don't get healthcare when I'm sick, I get spa days
It's because I need a Manicure!
^^^I ^^^^am ^^^^^actually ^^^^^^a ^^^^^^Nanny
Say what you will about Trump's Presidency, but you can't overlook what he has accomplished in terms of healthcare specifically life expectancy...
He managed to turn one year into something that feels like an eternity.
My city is handing out free healthcare products to women,
Free tampons? No strings attached.
For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care.
lul
We should maga
Let's start with:
-affordable healthcare
-reasonable gun laws
-liveable minimum wages
What type of healthcare do telepaths prefer?
Free of course. What did you think I was going to say telehealth?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
OECD: Wanna hear a joke?
USA: OK
OECD: Universal Healthcare
USA: I don't get it
OECD: You're **never** gonna get it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'd tell you a joke about healthcare...
...but the Americans would struggle to get it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wanna hear a joke about free healthcare?
Oh, your American? Never mind , you wouldn't get it.
Donald Trump has announced a new healthcare plan that's named after himself.
It's called DonT Care.
To sum up healthcare in America
An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."
He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.
A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200."
Let me just say that I'll NEVER vaccinate myself or my children!
I'll rather have a healthcare worker do that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You always claim Germans don't have humour,
but we have. It's just like healthcare. Most Americans don't get it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
German humor is like healthcare
Many Americans simply don't get it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Healthcare (freely translated from german)
A man really needs some vacation but can't afford any. So he decides to go to the psychiatry. He asks the doctor: "What do I have to do to stay here?" The doctor says: "We need to make a test of your menal health." He shows him a bathtub full of water. In front of it lies a spoon, a water glass and a bucket. "You have to empty the tub, what will you do?" "Ah," the man replies, "a smart person would say the bucket so I go for the Spoon." The Doctor looks seriously worried at him and says: "No, a smart person had pulled the plug - do you want a room w**... a balcony?"
