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Heals Jokes

32 heals jokes and hilarious heals puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about heals that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Heals Short Jokes

Short heals jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The heals humour may include short healed jokes also.

  1. What would you call someone with the power to heal others but chooses to be evil? The American Healthcare System
  2. If you cross your fingers after surgery you'll heal faster Or maybe that's just super stichin'
  3. Why are helium, curium, and barium known as the healing elements? Because if you can't helium.
    Or curium.
    You gotta barium.
  4. A man walks up to Jesus. I hear you healing the blind. What's the catch? Jesus turns away, cackling. You'll see! YOU'LL ALL SEE!
  5. Dentist: This will hurt a little. Patient: OK.
    Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now."
    That's one hole that never really healed.
  6. I told my suicidal friend that time heals all wounds, and he agreed with me. His body was later found at the bottom of Big Ben.
  7. Homosexuality is not natural! Just like healing illnesses by touch, walking over water and raising from the dead after a few days.
    Homosexuality is a miracle.
  8. A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them. He names the weapon "Ambu-lance"
  9. Did you hear that the televangelist got himself a puppy? He taught it how to beg and heal.
  10. I started therapy the other day My therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds, physically and mentally". So I stabbed them. Now we wait.

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Heals One Liners

Which heals one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with heals? I can suggest the ones about wounds heal and cures.

  1. My Therapist told me, "Time heals all wounds"..... So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
  2. What's the best herbal remedy for cuts and scrapes? Thyme. It heals all wounds
  3. What do you use to heal cuts in the matrix? Neo-sporin
  4. Our divine caster lost track of his healing spells. It was a clerical error.
  5. my therapist said time heals all wounds So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
  6. The herb with the most medicinal properties is Thyme... It heals all wounds.
  7. You know what they say about herbal medicine... Thyme heals all wounds.
  8. What makes Mercy such a good medic? It must be her high heals.
  9. If you break your leg... put some herbs on it. I mean, thyme heals all wounds.
  10. Baby, give me that couch.. .. cause I need some sectional healing!
  11. Herbal Doctors, someone should tell them Thyme Doesn't heal all wounds.
  12. If your hands aren't healing... Take matter into your own hands
  13. They say that time heals all wounds... But what if you get hit in the head with a clock?
  14. What do you call an Egyptian test administrator who heals back pain? A Cairo-Proctor!
  15. Viper is also a God's creature Said Jesus after healing Peter's mother-in-law.

Heals joke, Viper is also a God's creature

Rib-Tickling Heals Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about heals you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean helps jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make heals pranks.

My dog has to wear this cone till he heals from surgery. It helps with the biting, but the barking?

He sounds like a sub-whoofer.

A man walks into a grocery store with a gunshot wound.

The grocer asks him if he needs a doctor.
The man says he just wants to know where the spice isle is.
Confused the grocer asks why and the man replies Because thyme heals all wounds.

What do you call it when your party healer accidentally heals the wrong person?

A clerical error.

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds.
:D

Dad jokes....

Dad: When this heals, will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: Yes, you'll be fine in a few days.
Dad: Perfect, I've always wanted to be able to play an instrument.

Do you know what parallel dimension Dr. Michael Jackson does for a living?

He heals.

Heals joke, Do you know what parallel dimension Dr. Michael Jackson does for a living?