Headphones Jokes
107 headphones jokes and hilarious headphones puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about headphones that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring humor to your music time with these hilarious headphones jokes! From noise cancelling headphones to subwoofer jokes and everything in between, these puns will get you grooving with your stylist headphones. Read this article to find the right one for you!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Headphones Short Jokes
Short headphones jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The headphones humour may include short hearing aids jokes also.
- So the iPhone 7 gets arrested... He puts on his earpods and smugly declares "sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones".
- My dad always says, Don't spend too much money on expensive headphones. That's….sound advice.
- I just bought some £300 noise cancelling headphones for my wife. But i can still hear her.
- I purchased some noise canceling headphones... I thought people would find them annoying but so far I haven't heard any complaints.
- Who would pay a ridiculous amount of money for a pair of average over-hyped headphones? Beats me.
- iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack
2017: iPhone 8=no battery
2018: iPhone 9=no screen
2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000 - Do you know why Apple steals all their ideas? Cause when they make their own I lose my headphones.
- Known as the "one-day insect" the Mayfly has the shortest lifespan of all organisms... But it still lives longer than my headphones.
- Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000 Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.
- (My 4 year old finds this absolutely hilarious) Why was the cow wearing headphones? So he can listen to mooosic!
Share These Headphones Jokes With Friends
Headphones One Liners
Which headphones one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with headphones? I can suggest the ones about sunglasses and earrings.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate the headphone jack.
- What headphones does United Airlines use? Beats by Dr.
- Dark humor is like... ...a headphone jack. Not everybody gets it.
- Would you like some headphones? Absolutely, but how did you know my name was phones?
- What do you call a hipster wearing headphones? Anything you like, he can't hear you
- What do you call Vegan Headphones? Beets.
- Would headphones get tangled in space? no, they would knot
- What do you call wireless headphones you give to your kids? Heirpods
- I hear voices in my head But only when I wear headphones.
- Consult an audiophile before buying new headphones Their reasoning is pretty sound
- Why does Dr Dre make headphones? Beats me.
- New headphones model about to hit stores. Its called beats by Chris Brown.
- What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats
- Sharing earbuds and headphones spreads disease How do you think I got hearing aids?
- What did the HDMI say when it didn't fit in the headphone jack? Aux
Noise Cancelling Headphones Jokes
Here is a list of funny noise cancelling headphones jokes and even better noise cancelling headphones puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've invented an exciting new product. Say goodbye to noise-cancelling headphones... ...and say hello to noise-cancelling megaphones!
- My dad couldn't quite grasp the concept of noise-cancelling headphones Me: You put them on and you can't hear anything.
Him: Well then what's the point? - As a Volkswagen Engineer, do you know what really grinds my gears? The Tiptronic transmission, actually, but I invented these noise cancelling headphones!
Wireless Headphones Jokes
Here is a list of funny wireless headphones jokes and even better wireless headphones puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was listening to my wireless headphones while the dentist was working on my teeth. He needed to tell me something so he pulled out my earbud.
It was a Bluetooth extraction. - What is the name of Apple's new wireless headphones? AirTampons
Hilarious Fun Headphones Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about headphones you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sneakers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make headphones pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today i drove past a sign that said "Watch for blind children."
That's very cruel. What's next? Headphones for deaf kids?
dumb blonde
A blond walk into a hair salon with headphones on and sits down in a chair. The blonde asks the woman working there for a haircut. The woman takes of the headphones and cuts the blondes hair. After she is finished she looks down and to her surprise finds the blonde dead. The woman puts on the headphones and hears this "Breathe in.....Breathe out.....Breath in.......Breath out"
A man was on a plane...
A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"
*
As a mark of respect to Lou Reed
I have had his initials inscribed on my headphones.
-Daft Limmy
Henry Winkler on a plane
Henry Winkler is a passenger on a plane and the flight attendant asks him, "Would you like some headphones?"
He replies, "Yes, that would be very nice, but it's pronounced 'Fonz'."
Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.
Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.
1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?
If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!
Good Sound
An mp3 file was relaxing on his couch at home, when his wife comes up to him.
Wife: "Honey, could you explain this charge for $600?"
Mp3: "Oh, thats for a new set of headphones."
Wife: "For $600??? How could you spend that much?"
Mp3: "But the sound quality is really good!"
Wife: "SO YOU SPENT $600 FOR GOOD SOUND??"
Mp3 shrugs his shoulders. "What can I say? I'm an audiophile"
Did you hear about the new Drake Beats Headphones?
The softest headphones out there.
Why didn't Chris Brown make any headphones?
He definitely knows how to make a good beat.
I will show myself out.
What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house?
This place feels earie.
I got some knockoff beats
I got some knockoff beats by Dre headphones called beats by Tupac, but they had holes in them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Guy Is In A Waiting Room When..
A guy is in a waiting room and has to f**..., so he waits for the music to get loud and farts to the beat so no one hears him. He looks up for a moment and everyone is staring at him. He takes out his headphones and says "what??"
iPhone 7 is revolutionary!
•no headphones jack
•no wireless charging
•no curved screen
•no 4K resolution (or even full HD) screen
•no VR headset support
•no 360 camera support
•no expansion storage slot
It is true revolution in scamming people to upgrade from old iPhones!
My girlfriend said she won't miss the iPhone headphone jack as much as everyone.
Said she goes to bed to another miniscule 3.5mm thing anyway.
The decision to cover headphone jack in the new iPhone is ridiculous!
It's a bit like Steve Jobs sewing the opening of his turtleneck shut.
Apple ditches the headphone jack.
... and don't you come back no more, no more, no more !
We got one good thing out of the removal of the headphone jack in the iPhone 7.
Finally an end to selfie sticks!
They're marketing headphones specifically for gorillas now
Rumor has it they'll be called Harambeats.
I'm so sorry.
The iPhone doesn't have a headphone jack and the Samsung battery is exploding...
It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've kinda felt like my headphones recently
I've got a severe lack of anything to jack inside of.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Eve took the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, and said...
"b**...! It hasn't got a headphone jack!"
So I heard of new technology recently.
It's called a headphone jack.
Apple products
Remove the USB port and nobody bats an eye. Remove the headphone jack and everybody loses their minds!
Apple once made an iPhone with a headphone jack...
It was very 6S-ful
Q: Which headphones are better for listening Nicki Minaj music?
A: The ones that broken.
I told my wife I wanted music on during our love making.
Now she says the headphones are an eyesore
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trying to talk to a gorgeous girl
ME: \*tries to talk to a g**... train\*
GIRL: \*points to her headphones\*
ME: oh yeah, those are nice! so what's your name?
What's Chris Brown's favorite brand of headphones?
Beats.
I was at a yardsale and a woman asked if I wanted any headphones
I said absolutely! and how did you know my name was Phones?
Why would Cheap Apple Headphones make great shoelaces?
Because they automatically tie themselves
I'm gonna name my first born son "Phones"
So when the stewardess asks if he "would like some headphones" he can answer "Absolutely!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dear Headphones,
Please stop having wild s**... in my pockets.
Sincerely,
Person who is tired of untangling
What brand of Headphones does an abusive father give to his child on his birthday every year
Beats by Dad
Video autoplayed on a website but I had my headphones off and didn't notice.
Congratulations, you just played yourself.
What's a gardener's favorite brand of headphones?
Beets.
A guy turns to his buddy during an archaeological excavation and slides one headphone back off his ear...
"Hey man, I really dig this album!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A dumb blonde wearing headphones walks into a hair salon...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The iPhone 7 and later models don't have a 3.5mm headphone jack. What do you call them?
ROTTEN APPLES!!
I wanted to ask Spiderman to connect my headphones to my computer
But I just couldn't find Maguire
I was listening to a conversation on a pair of broken headphones
The conversation was pretty one-sided though...
I accidentally laundered my headphones today
Now they smell nice and I'm getting some really clean sound.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
f**... to the beat.
Once, I was at a restaurant and I wanted to f**... so bad, that I couldn't even move.
Fortunately, the restaurant had really loud music so I thought I'd f**... to the beats so that nobody would notice. After several moments, I noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I had been wearing headphones the whole time.
A blonde was walking down the street with headphones in
A friend of hers stops her, and tries to talk to her
The blonde just stares at them, keeping the headphones in her ears, so the friend removes them for her and the blonde stops breathing
The friend quickly puts the earbuds back in and she starts breathing again
The friend tries it again, and the blonde stops breathing
The friend takes out only one ear bud, and sticks it in their ear and hears,
Breathe in, breathe out, breath in...
The headphones I just bought for $400 doesn't seem to be working...
hope I'm having a hearing loss.
My running coach told me to increase the volume of my runs
So I unplugged the headphones and played my music from the speakers instead.
A blond was listening to breathing exercises on headphones and her boyfriend came up behind her and took them off her head.
She died.
So my brother made a dad joke
I put my pants in the washing machine and forgot to take my headphones out of my pocket. After they were done washing my brother realized what I did, he asked me
"Is the sound cleaner now?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Many veterans experience PTSD from the loud bangs of fireworks around holidays like 4th of July and New Years. My advice to them is to use noise-cancelling headphones, Netflix, and pharmaceutical-grade w**....
Just like the children of Kabul.
What kind of headphones does a grizzly use?
Bear pawds
Um idk what to write so hi
A flight attendant sees a man watching a movie she sees he is only using captions so she walks up to him
Flight attendant: Hello would you like some headphones
Man: Of course i would but how did you know my name was phones?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My d**... just pulled my phone closer to hear better...
I'm wearing blutooth headphones.
It was going to be a long road trip. I popped on my headphones, pulled up a movie on my phone, and got lost in the action as the car headed down the highway.
The passengers probably wished that I'd waited until I wasn't driving to do that.
Dont see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I dropped my headphones in the toilet
and now they sound like s**....
I snuck up on my roommate and had a horn sound on my phone ready to play, and I turned the volume way up.
I pressed play, only to find that I had forgotten to remove my headphones.
I lost my left headphone on Friday night
At first I was upset, but now it's all right…
No but seriously, that's why I came up with this bad joke.
