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Headlights Jokes

23 headlights jokes and hilarious headlights puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about headlights that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Headlights Short Jokes

Short headlights jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The headlights humour may include short street light jokes also.

  1. There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored? The turn signals.
  2. I'm really good with cars, man. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's going. - Mitch Hedberg
  3. I remember how my uncle died.. Driving an 18 wheeler rig down a long, icy road in the pitch black with no working headlights. He swerved and suddenly BAM!
    Cancer.
  4. After an accident...
    1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first.
    2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
  5. What do you call someone who is breaking the speed limit with a burnt out headlight? Not very bright
  6. You know when you get your ears removed but there aren't any surgical lights around so you use car lights? It's a de-ear in the headlights.
  7. My co-worker Jay just called his bright bike headlight an anti-jaywalking device So I says well yeah Jay, because you're biking, not walking.
  8. I changed my headlights the other day, I put in strobe lights instead. Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
  9. What can be said about a dumb blonde with breast implants? The headlights are on, but no one's home.
  10. TIL that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden. Who the f**...'s going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?

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Headlights One Liners

Which headlights one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with headlights? I can suggest the ones about led lighting and brake light.

  1. I ran into an old friend the other evening. Should have had the headlights fixed.
  2. Why did the car have bags under its headlights? It was tired
  3. Why does Optimus Prime's alt-mode have headlights? *To light our darkest hour...*
  4. What did the flashlight say to customer service I'd like to speak to your headlight
  5. How do you tell If your car was made in Asia? The headlights are slanted
  6. Only 1 headlight working on your car? Must be a Forrest Whita-car.
    Credit
  7. Democrat Headlights Told my wife my headlights must be Democrats, they don't work.

Headlights joke, Democrat Headlights

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about headlights can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of headlights puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly Headlights Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about headlights you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean flashlight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make headlights prank.

Heard this one at an auto parts store.

I went to an auto shop the other day to get a new bulb for one of my headlights. I grabbed one from the isle and started heading for the counter.
Guy behind the counter looks up and says How can I help you?
I say Oh, I just wanted to pick up a bulb, showing him the one in my hand.
He points to my hand and says Nice job!

I've just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.

And I'm thinking,
"Who the f**...'s going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"

Dad there is something my boyfriend told me, that I didn't understand. He said that "I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."

"Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his d**..., I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking from his exhaust pipe."

Took my car to a mechanic the other day...

I said "Can you fix my headlights?"
They reply "No!"
I respond, "Well, can you check my radiator?"
Again, "No!"
I turn to him and say "Well, what **do** you do,then?!"
He responds "We're a front for the IRA!"
"In that case..." I say. "... Can you blow up my tires?"

The man who invented cats' eyes...

The man who invented cats' eyes to make the roads safer at night got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat in his headlights.
If the cat had been going the other way, he would've invented the pencil sharpener.

Three cars are in a drag race at night on a highly lit up track.

When the race starts two of the cars take off at full speed towards the finish a quarter mile away.
The third simply turns on his headlights and declares himself the winner.
He says as he takes the trophy, Nothing beats the speed of light.

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub.


He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton.
She replies, "A bush."
The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower.
He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?"
His father replies, "It is a snake."
A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights."
A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having s**....
He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"

Headlights joke, You know when you get your ears removed but there aren't any surgical lights around so you use car l

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these headlights jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.