Top 10 headaches Jokes

Blowjobs do not relieve headaches

The other day, I had an astoundingly painful headache and I couldn't help but complain about it to my girlfriend. She surprised me by saying, "Ya know, blowjobs can be a natural cure for a headache..."
So, I thought it was worth a shot. But that day I learned my girlfriend is damned a liar.
I sucked three dicks and my head still fucking hurt.

Headaches

A man and his wife are getting into bed for the night. The man brings a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin to the bedroom and sets it down on his wife's nightstand. She asks him "What's that for?" to which the man replies "That's for your headache." "Headache? I don't have a headache..." The man responds "Well then, looks like we're having sex tonight!"

Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.

Is it a virus or a free U2 album?

I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today

All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous

A man suffering from persistent headaches for years finally decides to go to the doctor.

After several exams, meetings with consultants and various tests, the doctor tells, "You have an unusual condition in which your testicles are pressed up against the base of your spine, causing your headaches. We don't know how this is caused, but the only long term solution available is to remove them permanently."

After much angst, the man decides to go through with the procedure. The operation is complete, and the man wakes up headache free. Delighted with his new lease on life, he decides to treat himself to a new custom made suit.

Arriving at the best suit-maker in town, the tailor tells the man he's so good that he doesn't need a tape measure to know his sizes.

Intrigued, the man said "prove it."

"Very well. You shirt size is a 42" collar"

The man nods.

"Your jacket is a size 40"

Impressed now, the nods again.

"Your waist size is 36" and your legs 34""

"Right again" said the man. "But I bet you can't guess my underwear size."

"I would say a 32, sir" said the tailor

"Wrong!" said the man. "Worn a size 30 all my life."

"Oh no, sir, you wouldn't want to do that. A size 30 would push your balls up against your spine and give you terrible headaches."

You shouldn't worry about headaches

I mean, it's all in your head.

Migraine headaches

There was this guy who constantly get migraine headaches, he tried all different type of drugs and it didn't work for him. So he decided to go to the specialist. He told the doctor about his migraine and also let him know he tried all the drugs that are available in market but they still didn't help him. Doctor said "I know what you mean, I had the same problem, but I did something out of ordinary and it worked. Whenever I get headaches I go down on my wife and give her best oral sex. When she about to climax she squeezes my head with her thighs and its been helping me with my headaches. And you should try it out."

After couple of months doctor meets that guy on street and asks him I haven't seen you for long time after your visit, how's your headaches?

The guy said your technique really worked, but I just have one question who made that portrait of you and your wife top of your bed?

The teacher asks her class for some examples of medicines tgey use at home

Little Kevin promptly raises his hands and says, "Tylenol! For headaches!"

The teacher says, "Very good, Kevin, anyone else?"

Little Lisa answers from the back, "Um, Ambien, my Mom tells me it helps her sleep...?"

The teacher smiles at her and says, "Good job, Lisa," then turns to her class and goes on, "Listen here children, always be careful with medicines at home, okay? Now, does anyone else have another example?"

Little Johnny raises his hands slowly and says, "Viagra? For diarrhoea?"

The teacher freezes for a second, before the rest of his statement hits her and she stammers out, "F-for diarrhoea?"

Little Johnny explains, "Yeah, my Mom keeps telling my dad to take it, it'll harden his shit up."

Chronic headaches treatment

A man visits a doctor about chronic headaches. The doctor prescribes some medication, and says to the man: "Stress is the source of your headaches. Myself, I do have a lot of stress, and there's nothing better than sex with my wife. [laughing]". Finally, the doc schedules the man for a checkup visit the following month, and the man leaves.

Next month, the man returns, and the doctors inquires if his condition has changed. The man says: "The treatment you prescribed really made a difference. I feel like a new person. Thank you." The man, gets up and is about to exit. On the way out he says: "By the way doc, you have a beautiful home."

I go to the doctors office...

And tell the doctor that I've been having headaches and pains in my side.

The doctor says, "We'll run every test we can." then takes some blood and leaves the room.

The doctor comes in a short time later and says "Sir, this is pretty serious, I need to ask you to stop masturbating."

Horrified I ask "Why? What's wrong doctor?"

He says "I'm trying to examine you."

Joko Jokes