Head Shape Jokes
15 head shape jokes and hilarious head shape puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about head shape that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Head Shape Short Jokes
Short head shape jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The head shape humour may include short body shape jokes also.
- Navy SEALs are the best canoers and make the best headshot photographs Of some poor b**...'s head being blown off in the shape of a canoe.
Share These Head Shape Jokes With Friends
Fun-Filled Head Shape Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about head shape you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean head hurting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make head shape pranks.
A kid has a pear-shaped head
The poor kid is feeling down because everyone at school teases him about his pear-shaped head. One day he can no longer take the teasing and says to the kids teasing him, "I can't help having a pear-shaped head, my mom ate a pear when she was pregnant with me."
"That's not how it works," one of the other kids said. "My mom ate a scratched disc when she was pregnant with me and nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...nothing...happened."
A guy goes to a barbershop
The barber claims to have a new machine that can cut everyone's hair equally well.
But that's ridiculous! Says the customer, not everyone has the same size and shaped head!
The barber responds, They do afterward
Sean walks into his local pub in Ireland
His friends all say "Hi Sean", and Sean says "Lads, you wouldn't believe what happened to me while I was walking to the pub. I saw a very shapely lady tied to the railroad tracks. Well, I ran over and untied her and we made passionate love together." One of the guys says "Sean, did you get any head?" And Sean says, "No, I couldn't find it."
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change.
I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
A farmer was selling his peaches door to door.
He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
She asked , "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get s**... out of my peaches."
German couple rush to a Jewish Hospital
A German couple are rushed to a Jewish hospital after a huge hailstorm. The boyfriend's right hand was cut, and the girlfriend's head is in really bad shape, so the couple go to the emergency room. A rabbi - who is accompanying and praying for all the patients in the emergency room - is in shock of how the girlfriend managed to be in the condition she was in. The rabbi asks the boyfriend, "what hit her?" The boyfriend still panting after rushing to the hospital pointing with his bandaged hand and quickly mutters, "hail-hit-her!"
A man wishes to join an exclusive local church's congregation...
...and during his interview with the pastor, he's asked if he's ever engaged in any unusual s**... activity. He looks down, embarrassed, and sighs deeply.
"Well, yes, actually. Just last week, my girlfriend had dropped a head of lettuce. When she bent over, and I saw her shapely rear silhouetted by the light nearby, I ... I just couldn't help myself. I had to have her, so I made love to her right then and there."
The pastor replies, "I'm terribly sorry, sir. We can't allow that kind of behavior here. Premarital s**..., even in a loving relationship, is against our doctrine."
The man shrugs, seemingly expecting the rejection. He stands up and begins walking to the door. "Hey, padre? Don't feel bad," he says. "We're not allowed in Wal*Mart any more either."
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto have been tasked with finding a herd of bison...
And they've been wandering about the plains for a while not finding much of anything, Tonto periodically sticking his ear to the ground to listen for the thundering of many hooves.
As Tonto is pressing his ear against the ground for the fourteenth time, the Lone Ranger spots a dark smudge on the horizon vaguely shaped like a large group of ungulates.
"Bison come," Tonto interrupts the Lone Ranger's day dreaming, his head snapping back to look at Tonto with wonderment.
"How can you tell? Is it the vibration of the ground from the herd over there?" He points.
"No." Tonto replies. "Ear sticky."
A man is flying on the same plane as Brooklyn Decker...
...and it crashes in the ocean near a remote island. The man and Brooklyn Decker swim to shore and are the only survivors. They immediately find food and build shelter. With nothing else to do, they begin having s**....
They are having s**... multiple times a day for over two weeks, until one day Brooklyn finds the man standing on the beach alone. She approaches him and asks "What's wrong? Is it me? Is it the s**...?" The man replies, "No, it's not you and the s**... is great... It's just, well... Do you mind if I do something?" Brooklyn replies, "No, whatever you want, I just want you to be happy."
The man then takes off his hat and puts it on Brooklyn's head, tucking her hair up into it. Then he rubs mud on her face in the shape of a beard and says...
"DUDE! I HAVE BEEN HAVING s**... WITH BROOKLYN DECKER FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!"
The man with a giant orange head
A man is walking down his usual route to work when he sees an old friend walking out of his house. The friend looks in great shape but there's something different about him... He has a giant orange head.
The man stops his old friend and they exchange the usual formalities:
"Hey man, its been ages! I've gotta ask though... What happened to your head."
The friend pauses and begins to tell you his story:
"So I found this lamp and I rubbed it and a genie came out and said I have 3 wishes. I asked for all the money I could fathom."
he shows you his tailored 3 piece suit and the gigantic brown house a block down and says: "that's my house, and then I asked for a beautiful wife."
He points to the house again as the most beautiful woman walks down the steps and says: "that's my wife."
Then he paused and pursed his lips a little.
"Here's where I think I went wrong..." he said, "I asked for a giant orange head"
3 Wishes
A young couple are walking along the beach when the come across a man sitting atop a giant hill of money, surrounded by beautiful women fawning over him. Upon closer inspection they see that the man has a horrific looking giant melon shaped head.
The young man and his girlfriend are intrigued and approach the man and ask "Hey what's going on here?"
The man looks down at them and says, "I was walking along the beach and found a magic lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie came out and granted me three wishes." The couple look at each other and back at the man and ask "What were the wishes?" The man says "Well, first I asked for more wealth than I could ever spend" and he motions to the pile of money he's sitting atop. "Then, I wished to be surrounded by beautiful women who love me" he points at all the beautiful women surrounding him.
The couple look amazed. "And for your third wish?" The man looks at them and says "A GIANT MELON SHAPED HEAD."
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during s**...."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during s**...."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub.
Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub.
Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"