Head Injury Jokes
33 head injury jokes and hilarious head injury puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about head injury that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Head Injury Short Jokes
Short head injury jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The head injury humour may include short head hurting jokes also.
- Someone threw some Omega 3 tablets at my head the other day I'm ok though, my injuries were only super fish oil
*I'll see myself out* - What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia? A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.
- I've heard that head injuries can cause memory loss, but I still don't wear a bike helmet. I don't even remember the last time I fell off my bike.
- Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at my head. It's o.k. though, as my injuries are only super fish oil.
- Have you heard of the karate black belt that went on to serve the army? He gave himself a head injury the first time he saluted.
- i was walking down the street, when someone threw a packet of cod liver oil at my head........ .......but i only suffered super fish oil injuries
- What kind of injury results from having an omega-3 bottle thrown at your head? A super-fish-oil wound
- Two men walk into a bar. The first man is okay, but the other suffered a terrible head injury.
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Head Injury One Liners
Which head injury one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with head injury? I can suggest the ones about head banging and concussion.
- A shampoo manufacturer had an accident. ..he suffered injuries to his head and shoulders.
- A man walks into a bar He is then taken to the hospital for a head injury
- What do you call a peanut with a head injury? Assaulted peanut.
- A man walks into a bar he suffers a severe head injury.
- A man walks into a bar... ...and is sent to the hospital with a severe head injury.
- A robot had an accident and sustained a head injury. He was a bit upset.
Head Injury Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about head injury you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brain damage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make head injury pranks.
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-a**... jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"
Women Think Differently
Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"
Husband says'' Honey, it's me. I don't want to alarm you but
. . . I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They've checked me over and dome some tests and x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately, it didn't cause any serious internal injury. However, I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they might have to amputate my right foot.''
Wife : ''Who's Paula?''
A group of soldiers on a first-aid course were tested by the instructor. He asked the recruits: 'If the sergeant major sustained a head injury during an exercise what would you do about it ?
One soldier said: 'I'd wrap a tourniquet around his neck and tighten it until the bleeding stopped.'
A teacher at a college reminded her pupils of the next day's final exam...
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' she said.
A smart-arsed kid at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and s**....
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'
From the Hospital...
Husband: Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the Hospital. They have been conducting examinations and tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate my right foot.
Wife: Who is Tina?
A guy is telling his friend a story...
Guy: A nut in a bar was telling the bartender's family he could jump over the sun
Friend: I'll bet he failed, ha!
Guy: Technically no...
Friend: What? But it's impossible for someone to jump over the sun!
Guy: He almost did - but his foot got caught on a loose nail - he fell into the middle of the sun.
Friend: ... Okay... Where is he?
Guy: In the hospital with a head injury
Friend: (jokingly) and where's the sun?
Guy: He's in the hospital too.
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and s**....
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.
A Priest and a Rabbi are driving towards each other on the highway...
When all of a sudden a tire blows out on the Rabbi's car and they c**... into each other head on. They both get out of the vehicle and by some miracle they both suffer no injuries while both cars are wrecked beyond belief.
the rabbi says "wow this really must of beens god's work to keep us both alive and unharmed"
priest " i know, even though we may have disagreements with some things, we both can agree that god is looking out for us"
the Rabbi goes over to the wreckage and sees a bottle of wine that managed to survive the c**... and says to the priest
"not only did we both come out unharmed so did this bottle of wine, it must be a sign from god to put aside our differences and reconcile over a glass of wine.
priest " i agree"
so the rabbi opens up the bottle and hands it to the priest. The priest takes the bottle and drinks about half and gives it back to the rabbi.
the rabbi goes " thats ok, i wont drink it till the cops come"
Problem 67
Bob and Kathy, two construction workers on the roof of a building, are about to raise a keg of nails from the ground by means of a light rope passing over a light frictionless pulley 10.0 m above the ground. Bob weighs 900 N, Kathy 600 N, the keg 300 N, and the nails 600 N. Both workers slip off the roof, and the following unfortunate sequence of events takes place. Hanging together on the rope, Bob and Kathy strike the ground just as the keg hits the pulley. Unnerved by his fall, Bob lets go of the rope, and the keg pulls Kathy up to the roof, where she cracks her head against the pulley but gamely hangs on. However, the nails spill out of the keg when it strikes the ground, and the empty keg rises as Kathy returns to the ground. Finally, she has had enough, lets go of the rope, and remains on the ground, only to be hit by the empty keg again. Ignoring the possible mid-air collisions that merely added insult to injury, how much did Bob and Kathy get when they sued the construction company?
Tomorrow's Final Exam
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate many excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the
student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand."
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-a**... student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, **'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'**
(If you guys started putting punchlines in bold I'd love ya forever)