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He Has Risen Jokes

46 he has risen jokes and hilarious he has risen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about he has risen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest He Has Risen Short Jokes

Short he has risen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The he has risen humour may include short he is risen jokes also.

  1. Before you go around posting He has risen Remember to add spoiler alert.
    Some of us haven't read the book yet.
  2. How do we know that Jesus was made of bread? Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.
  3. The cost of balloons has risen drastically over the past few years... ...Due to inflation.
  4. Why have there been so many jokes about inflation lately? Because demand has risen after a period of low interest.
  5. "McDonald's sales soar thanks to all day breakfast" In unrelated news toilet paper stocks have risen and plumber businesses have been unable to keep up with demands for work.
  6. The only reason the Democrats haven't risen up and overthrown the government The Republicans are the ones with the guns.
  7. How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven? Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice – I don't bereave you."
  8. The amount of people that shout "Boo!" The amount of people that shout "Boo!" to their friends has risen by 85%.
    That's a frightening statistic.
  9. If Jesus had been discovered to have no risen, what would this be called? Resurectile dysfunction.
  10. He is risen! Thats not what I heard from Mary Magdalene...

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He Has Risen One Liners

Which he has risen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with he has risen? I can suggest the ones about risen and rising.

  1. Why is bread the body of Christ? Because he is risen.
  2. If the body of Christ cannot be gluten-free... Then I guess He is risen
  3. Why has the cost of balloons risen in the past ten years? Because of inflation!
  4. What did the Catholic baker say after baking the Easter Eucharist? He is risen.
  5. If He has risen... ...does that mean Jesus isn't kosher for Passover?
  6. What's Jesus's favourite chord? G# sus, cause G sus has risen.
  7. My mate said, My bread hasn't risen enough to put in the oven. I said, Prove it.
  8. Remember this Easter "He is risen!" April Fools
  9. The lord has risen But it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning.
  10. What do you say when you make pizza for a church? The crust has risen!
  11. What does a sleepy zombie say? I have risen from the bed.
  12. Why do Jews avoid Easter during Passover? Because Jesus has risen.
  13. Cost of balloon has risen up a lot in past few years.. Inflation is to blame.
  14. Easter is on 4/20 this year. He is risen indeed!
  15. Being alone with my girlfriend on Easter. "Jesus has risen . . . and so have I."

He Has Risen Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about he has risen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean awakened jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make he has risen pranks.

"Bad news son, the price of v**... has risen", said the father. "Does that mean that you will drink less", asks the son.

"No, you will eat less."

Good Friday / Easter Joke

So it's after the resurrection and boy is Jesus in the mood for some partying. He gets the disciples together and heads for the club!
They hit the dance floor, but something is wrong - Jesus just can't seem to get in groove with the music. He tries and tries, but finally yells out. . .
Help! I've risen and I can't get down!

Russia. Little Boris comes running to his alcoholic father.

"Daddy, daddy! I just heard that v**... has risen in price. That means you'll be drinking less from now on?"
"No, junior. That means you'll be eating less," the father replies.

Woke up this morning with half an e**...

Told my religious wife, "he is risen!"
(Could also be in TIFU)

What did Mary say when she saw Jesus with a massive e**...?

He has risen.

You must be in management!

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am".
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".

"You must be a technician." said the balloonist.
"I am" replied the man "how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."

The man below responded "You must be in management".
"I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fuc#ing fault