Hazard Jokes

45 hazard jokes and hilarious hazard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hazard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make them laugh with hazard jokes! From golf water hazards to natural disasters, chocking dangers and more, learn how to make even the riskiest situations light-hearted. Explore the different meanings of “hazard” and the humorous way that you can use it to create funny stories and quips. Get the full scoop on how to make danger funny!

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Short Hazard Jokes
Hazard One Liners
Choking Hazard Jokes
Health Hazard Jokes
More Hazard Jokes

Funniest Hazard Short Jokes

Short hazard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hazard humour may include short harm jokes also.

I saw a woman driving with her hazards on. And I thought to myself, "At least she's honest."
Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves... Apparently they are a choking hazard.
Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew. It was a choking hazard.
What's the difference between a kinder surprise and Michael jackson. One is a choking hazard for children and the other is a chocolate covered candy
What should you say when your girlfriend thinks your D is small. Tell her small things are a choking hazard
It should be a safety hazard for cars being towed to face traffic behind them... Every time I look up from my phone while driving and see one they scare the *s#!t* out of me!
Did you know smoking fish may be hazardous for your health? I was told so by the Sturgeon General
My safety supervisor asked me why I wasn't done filing the hazardous material documents... I told him I was doing asbestos I can
How did the Christian support group warn Chris Tucker about the hazardous weather conditions as he drove to the 'Die Hard' costume party? 'Slippy Highway, Brother Tucker'
Why didn't the toy manufacturer do it with his wife tonight? Small parts are choking hazards.

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Hazard One Liners

Which hazard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hazard? I can suggest the ones about danger and risk.

Don't walk through a field of mushrooms It's quite a tripping hazard.
I reported a hazard on the highway the other day. There was a fork in the road
How is the letter C like a road hazard on the freeway? It makes exiting exciting.
If the Dukes of Hazard were black... the show would be named COPS.
I was putting on a Warriors jersey... But my friend said "that's a choking hazard."
BMW recalls 300,000 due to one safety hazard... The drivers.
You won't believe these 12 household electrical hazards. Numbers 1-12 will shock you!
What's acid? A tripping hazard
What do you say when you see a Chelsea winger strangling someone? Choking Hazard
What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis? Occupational hazard.
If I was a toy then what toy would I be? Choking hazard for 12 and below.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
No one will play my mix tape... They say it's a fire hazard.
With all these regulations and safety hazards about burgers... Rare meat is hard to find.
What workplace benefit do ebola quarantine nurses receive? Hazardous doodie pay!

Choking Hazard Jokes

Here is a list of funny choking hazard jokes and even better choking hazard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

After today, I'm not letting my kids play with penguins.... I didn't realize they were a choking hazard.

Health Hazard Jokes

Here is a list of funny health hazard jokes and even better health hazard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Brazil had the best hospitality for a host in 2016 Olympics. Health hazards played a huge role.
PSA: European appliances may be hazardous to your health. My friend said he gave his wife a Dutch oven and it made her sick.

Hazard joke, PSA: European appliances may be hazardous to your health.

Fun-Filled Hazard Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about hazard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disaster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hazard pranks.

A farmer was fed up with drivers speeding down the road where he lived, so he asked the police to put up a sign...

They put up a "Slow down, speed limit" sign - with no effect. Then, "Danger, road hazard!" sign was put up, but had no effect, either. Then the police tried a sign stating "Children crossing" - and still nobody slowed down.
Finally, the farmer asked the police if he could put up his own sign. They agreed, and to their surprise, just days later a passing officer saw a row of cars moving very slowly past the farmer's place. The policeman approached the farm, and saw a new, hand-painted sign stating: "Nudist Colony".

Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.

"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...

Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.
Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.
Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...
After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."