Hay Jokes
136 hay jokes and hilarious hay puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hay that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover hilarious jokes about hay, from humorous puns revolving around "hitting the hay," to jokes about stable life, hay fever, hay day, and more! Enjoy a laugh and learn about all the things that hay can bring to a barnyard.
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Funniest Hay Short Jokes
Short hay jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hay humour may include short stable jokes also.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans. - A horse walks into a barn A horse walks into a barn
The Barntender says, "Hay, the usual?" - If we want Congress to agree we should just replace the people with horses Sure the neighs would carry every vote. But hay, at least the housing market would be stable.
I'll show myself out - As a famous scarecrow once said... "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
- A buddy and I are in the same programming class My friend starts writing down a note
I look at it
He says "Hay! That note is private"
I respond "But we are in the same class" - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Hay fever
Admit it, you thought I was gonna say pilgrims, didn't you? - 3 bags of crisps walking down the road .. a bloke pulls up ,says hay guys wanna lift? No thanks they replied we're walkers
- The shortest Dad Joke in the world. Driving down a country road with your kids in the back seat, point at a stack of hay bales on some random farm and exclaim:
># Hey! - Did you hear they banned round hay bales in Kentucky? Cows couldn't get a square meal.
(h/t my grandma who tells this joke like it is her job) - What does an Italian cow say when he gets an extra delivery of hay to the barn? That's amorehay!
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Hay One Liners
Which hay one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hay? I can suggest the ones about dung and cows.
- What do you call religious hay? Christian Bale.
- As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. But hay, it's in my jeans.
- What's a cow's favourite Beatles song? Hay Chewed
- What do you call hay for Catholic horses? Christian Bale
- What did one Mandalorian farmer say to the other? This is the hay.
- Being a scarecrow isn't easy... but hay, it's in my jeans
- How does a scarecrow brag? "Hay, it's in my jeans."
- I was once trapped in a hay field A friend bailed me out
- Farming isn't for everyone.. But hay, it's in my jeans.
- What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale.
- What did the scarecrow preacher say to his congregation Can I get a hay men
- Why is hay so unreliable? It keeps baleing
- I told someone I'd bundle up some hay with them but I baled.
- What do you call Australian hay? Hi. (Say it out loud)
- What does the hay farmer do at the end of the day? They bale.
Hay Bale Jokes
Here is a list of funny hay bale jokes and even better hay bale puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear that the Department of Agriculture is outlawing round bales of hay? They claimed the cows weren't getting a square meal.
- Did you hear that farmers are getting rid of circular hay bales? Yeah, horses are sad that they're not getting a square meal.
- Did you know they outlawed round bales of hay? Because the cows weren't getting a square meal.
- Why was the hay upset? Because the straw was about to bale
- How do you get hay out of prison? You pay its bale.
- What do you call a cross made out of hay bales? Christian bale
- What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay? You get a Christian Bale
- What do you call sad hay? Baleful.
- Ranchers are protesting over round hay bales. They claim that their horses aren't getting a square meal.
- The only provider of hay is deep in debt... so the government decides to do a bale out.
Bale Hay Jokes
Here is a list of funny bale hay jokes and even better bale hay puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Wisconsin ban round bales of hay..? ...It's because the cows need a square meal.
- Did you hear about the man who got squashed by a tree whist in between two bales? He's Hay Oak Hay now.
- There's a reason why round bales of hay aren't recommended... Horses are only supposed to get 3 square meals a day.
- Cows really don't like those big, round bales of hay. They can't get a square meal.
- The round hay bales are now banned in Georgia Because the cows weren't getting a square meal.
- What did the hay bale say to the other hay bale? Hello
- I heard Nebraska quit making round hay bales... Farmers said their cows weren't getting a square meal.
- Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed? He wanted to feed his nightmares.
- I just found out they are making round hay bales i**...! Turns out, the Cows weren't getting a square meal
- Did you know those round bales of hay you still see in fields were outlawed? Yep. The cows weren't getting a square meal.
**Great road trip joke—never gets old* ^(to ^me)
Hay Bales Jokes
Here is a list of funny hay bales jokes and even better hay bales puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are round bales of hay i**...? Because cows can't get a square meal.
- The man with a hay f**..., charged with public indecency due to his acts performed in a barn... ...is released on bale.
- TIL that round hay bales are i**.... It's because the animals can't get a square meal!
Horse Hay Jokes
Here is a list of funny horse hay jokes and even better horse hay puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know some farmers employ horses to watch over their fields? Its hay per view corn.
- What do AC/DC feed their horses? HAY HAY HAY HAYYY!
- What does Mad Albert cry as a horse? Hay, Hay, Hay!
- Horses eat hay. Gay horses eat what? Heeeeeeey~
- What did the horse say to the other horse? Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!
- How do you get a horse out of jail? Hay bail.
- What did the horse say to the scarecrow? Hay
- What did Buckwheat from Little Rascals feed his horse? Oat Hay!
- What does one horse say to another horse to get its attention? "Hay"
- I think I'd be really good at pulling hay from a horse's mouth But I may just be clutching at straws here.
Hit The Hay Jokes
Here is a list of funny hit the hay jokes and even better hit the hay puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What happened when the farmer fell asleep while driving? He hit the hay
- Why did the m**... give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Charming Humor Hay Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about hay you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean farmer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hay pranks.
What's the difference between a female farmer and h**...'s girlfriend?
One bails her hay and the other heils her bae
Translated Chinese joke
Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!
Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off
Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out
Bad news: The parachute failed midair
Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him
Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with s**...t
Good news: He didn't land on the s**...t
Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either
How do you find a needle in a hay stack?
Lock a j**... in the barn
A queen asked a beardless knight...
A queen asked a beardless knight, "tell me true: have you fathered any children?" "In truth, my Queen, I have not." "I believe it," she replied, "for it's known to all that one can look at the hay to see if the pitchfork's any good."
"Tell me true," asked the knight, "have you any hair between your legs?" "In truth, young knight, I have not." "I believe it," he replied, "for it's known to all that when too many walk a road, the grass stops growing."
The farmer asked the scarecrow why he keeps his job in the field...
The farmer asked the scarecrow why he keeps his job in the field. The scarecrow turned to the farmer and said, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay... it's in my jeans."
So my mom got me a box of tin soldiers...
I smashed up my majors and tore down my generals. The dog ate my lieutenants and I lost the colonel. The sergeants were lost in uncle John's hay so now I'm stuck playing with my privates all day.
Well, your a**... may be grass...
b**... hay, what can you do?
A clergyman was walking and saw a farmer loading hay and struggling with the work.
"you look tired son,take a rest" he said.
No,my father would hate that" he replied
"Don't be silly, everyone needs a break sometimes. Come take some cold water" the clergyman replies.
Again the farmer declined. This continues for about two minutes, until the clergyman says "your father must be a s**... driver. Tell me where he is so I can give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well", says the farmer," he's under the hay"
These Farmers got arrested!
Did you hear why the celery farmer got arrested?
For stalking
Did you hear about the hay farmer that got arrested?
He's out on bail
Did you hear about the root vegetable farmer that got arrested?
He beet up his friend with a potato and didn't carrot all.
My dad's latest dad joke
My dad raises rabbit and goes through a lot of hay. As we're getting a new bale out a truck drives by with big round bales.
Me: that would keep you in hay for awhile.
D: rabbits can't eat those.
Me: what? Why not?
D: not good for them
Me:You mean the type of hay
D: nope, can't have those big round ones.
(This back and forth keeps going for like ten minute as I suggest why they can't have them and his just saying no)
Me: is there an actual reason why they can't have that hay?
D: (smirks) they won't get a square meal
Me:(floored)…did you just wind me up for like ten minutes to tell me a dad joke??!
D: yeah
Scarecrows love farming
When I asked him why he loved farming so much he just said, "Hay, it's in my jeans."
Upon seeing a beautiful milkmaid, Thor appears before her in a flash of lightning...
Picking her up, he takes her to the hay loft where he proceeds to make ravenous love to her for thee days.
As the sun rose on the third day, he walked to the door and said "Woman! I must go. I have duties and I am Thor!"
To which she replied... "You're Thour? I'm not going to be able to thit down on that milking thtool for a week!"
My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes.
I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates
What do horses eat?
Hay of course.
What do gay horses eat?
*Hayyyyyyyyy*
What do mad horses eat?
HEY!
*Disclaimer-I'm fairly certain I made the last line up, but have heard the previous two all through my childhood. It's much better told in person, especially if you really yell that last line. People think they already know the joke, the extra sentence gets them intrigued, then they're paying attention and super startled when you yell the final "hay".
A man is wondering across a field and happens across a scarecrow. He asks the scarecrow what it's like to hang in that field day and night..
The scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
Why did they stop feeding cows the round bails of Hay in Texas?
Because they weren't getting a square meal.
When asked what he thought about his job, the Scarecrow answered 'Well this job isn't for everyone...
... but hay, it's in my jeans'
I got a new cylindrical bailer for the hay, but the cows all rebelled...
...they wanted three square meals a day.
What would a book on b**... culture written in alabama be called?
Fifty Shades of Hay.
If if April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Hay fever...achooo
Joseph and Mary are having a romp in the hay.
Mary says, "what if I get pregnant, what will I tell them?" Joseph replies, "you will think of something."
They gave the scarecrow an award for being outstanding in his field.
When he accepted the honor he pointed to his parents in the crowd and said, "What can I say... Hay, it's in my jeans."
Hay gurl
are you a gorilla enclosure? Cause' I wanna drop a kid in you.
What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch?
Moo Mitch, get out the hay
Driving through SC, I just saw some hay on the side of the road
It must have gotten sick of the driver and bailed.
What did the cow say to the hay?
I chews you
Did you guys hear about the scarecrow who won the nobel prize?
Apparently he was out standing in his field.
When asked about how he won he said, "hay, it's in my jeans."
Why doesn't a scarecrow use TP
because hay .. its in his jeans
Have you heard about the type of hay made from oak leaves?
Apparently it's OK
Here is an ancient gypsy blessing meant to give good fortune.
You must chant the words about a dozen times, slowly at first and then more and more quickly as you go on.
Eye sow hand lie can itty oat toot hay.
Do farmers have backup plans?
In case their hay bails
When an Amish buggy breaks down on the side of the road, who do they call?
Triple Hay
My horse keeps getting a**... whenever I try and feed him
Maybe I should stop feeding him 50 shades of hay
