The Best 77 Hawking Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hawking jokes. There are some hawking higgs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hawking steven hawking puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Hawking Jokes and Puns

It's said that Jesus could walk on water...

Thats nothing! Stephen Hawking ran on batteries

Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up...

And he immediately fell on the floor.

When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me

It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking

Hawking joke, When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me

2 "black" questions that aren't racist.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What's black and screaming? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Why can't Stephen Hawking dance?

Because he's white.

How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever?

He knows a lot about black holes

Physicist Frank Wilczek states that there is life on other planets...

Profesor Stephen Hawking maintains his position.

Hawking joke, Physicist Frank Wilczek states that there is life on other planets...

I've been waiting on Stephen Hawking to tell his racist joke...

I mean, it's got to be a good one – he's been looking over his shoulder for years.

(from my brother Heath).

Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer broke?

What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair?

I can't stand being in this

You can explore hawking hawk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hawking holden dad jokes. There are also hawking puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning

Because I can't get out of bed.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?


Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night...

She stood him up.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

Hawking joke, What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking can actually be pretty funny sometimes...

But I don't think he's got what it takes to do stand-up.

I just tried to woo Stephen Hawking.

But I don't think I pushed the right buttons.

What if Steven Hawking...

What if Steven Hawking is the real Slim shady, but we don't know because he cant stand up.

How does Stephen Hawking have sex?

Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace...

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

One more...what's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire. I'm so sorry

How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?


(sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

I gotta hand it to Stephen Hawking

because he can't catch.

What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

What do you call a hand job from Stephen Hawking?

A stroke of Genius.

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?


Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number?

Everytime I call, a machine answers.

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking.

How does Stephen Hawking commit suicide?


A lot of people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

Stephen Hawking disagrees.

What is black and sits atop the staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

Walking Talking

Stephen Hawking

Knowledge is Power

They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space.

It's about time, too.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Because he can't do stand up

What if Stephen Hawking

Is the real Slim Shady but he can't stand up

Stephen Hawking can be pretty funny sometimes,

But I dont think he could do standup

People ask me what's my favorite vegetable.

Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.

Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man

He's always looking over his shoulder.

What was Stephen Hawking when he was younger?

Stephen Walking

Jesus may have walked on water...

But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries

What do Evel Knievel and Stephen Hawking have in common?

Their love of ramps.

Stephen Hawking is actually the real Slim Slady

He just can't stand up.

Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans?

Because he loves to study black holes.

I've tried calling Stephen Hawking many times

I keep getting his answering machine

I tried calling Stephen Hawking the other day

But I kept getting his answering machine

I finally got around to reading that book by Stephen Hawking.

It was about time.

Why does Steven Hawking only speak in one-liners?

He can't do stand-up.

Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.

It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.

My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO.

Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.

Stephen Hawking recently released his most recent book. He has spent the last 15 years writing it.

It's about time.

Stephen Hawking

If Stephen hawking started a company, What would his position in the company be?

The Chairman

What do you call a vegetable that's sorta cool?

Stephen Hawking

Your momma's so fat

She gives off Hawking radiation

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time...

When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.

Apparently she stood him up.

Everyone is a fan of Stephen Hawking now that he died.

I bet they can't name even 3 of his songs.

It's a shame that Steven Hawking died

He's been on a roll since age 21.

First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii?

Tough year for the Electronic community.

Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat?

Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.

There is no God -Stephen Hawking, 2011

There is no Stephen Hawking God, 2018

Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card?

. .Cos I really need bits for my kids go-kart

Even the most intelligent people can't survive a day without electricity

Like Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking went on a date the other day.

When he went back to his family, he had a dislocated shoulder, 2 broken ribs, and a popped kneecap. It was because she stood him up.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Then Stevie Wonder "says wait you can walk!" Then Hellen keller says "wait you can see!"
Then hitler says "wait you're still alive!"
And that's the story about how my bartender stopped doing drugs.

Why didn't Stephen hawking host a talk show?

because he can't do stand-up comedy

What's one job Stephen hawking would be no good at?

Stand up comedy.

My friend said we should tear down statues of Stephen Hawking

I didn't know there were any statues of Stephen Hawking still standing.

What do Stephen Hawking and Tony Hawk have in common?

The both love ramps.

School report.

My teacher gave us an assignment to tell her our idols and then say what we would do if they walked in our house. I got off easy because I said Stephen Hawking.

Not only was Stephen Hawking a great physicist, he was also a great comedian.

Sadly, his stand-up wasn't very good.

Steven hawking walks into a bar

Oh wait

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hawking cialis jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hawking stephen hawking piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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