Hawking Jokes

123 hawking jokes and hilarious hawking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hawking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Hawking Short Jokes

Short hawking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hawking humour may include short stephen hawkins jokes also.

  1. Everyone is a fan of Stephen Hawking now that he died. I bet they can't name even 3 of his songs.
  2. What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen Hawking doesn't walkie or talkie.
  3. I rolled my first joint last night! Today I have an ankle the size of a football. :(
  4. How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day? F5
    (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)
  5. I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox… and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
  6. It's said that Jesus could walk on water... Thats nothing! Stephen Hawking ran on batteries
  7. My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO. Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.
  8. Stephen Hawking diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. It was easy to fix, they just uninstalled his pop-up blocker.
  9. Stephen Hawkings' last paper on space is finally going to published posthumously... It's about time too.
  10. When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking

Share These Hawking Jokes With Friends

Hawking One Liners

Which hawking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hawking? I can suggest the ones about hulk and pigeon.

  1. How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day? F5
  2. Jesus may have walked on water... But Stephen Hawking can run on batteries
  3. What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking.
  4. There is no God -Stephen Hawking, 2011 There is no Stephen Hawking God, 2018
  5. Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up
  6. What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes? Nothing.
  7. I've tried calling Stephen Hawking many times I keep getting his answering machine
  8. Steven Hawking walks into a bar... Just kidding.
  9. First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii? Tough year for the Electronic community.
  10. Why is Stephen Hawking successful? He can't run away from his responsibilities.
  11. What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer broke?
  12. What do scientists and vegetables have in common? Stephen Hawking
  13. Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too.
  14. Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he's white.
  15. I finally got around to reading that book by Stephen Hawking. It was about time.

Stephen Hawking Jokes

Here is a list of funny stephen hawking jokes and even better stephen hawking puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Knowledge is Power They always say knowledge is power, but I'm pretty sure I can beat up Stephen Hawking.
  • Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans? Because he loves to study black holes.
  • I gotta hand it to Stephen Hawking because he can't catch.
  • Stephen Hawking can be pretty funny sometimes, But I dont think he could do standup
  • Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night... She stood him up.
  • Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card? . .Cos I really need bits for my kids go-kart
  • What do Stephen Hawking and Tony hawk have in common? The both love ramps.
  • What's the quietest album in the world? Stephen Hawking - unplugged
  • Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning Because I can't get out of bed.
  • Stephen Hawking If Stephen hawking started a company, What would his position in the company be?
    The Chairman

Steven Hawking Jokes

Here is a list of funny steven hawking jokes and even better steven hawking puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What if Steven Hawking... What if Steven Hawking is the real Slim shady, but we don't know because he cant stand up.
  • Steven Hawkings last words were probably 30 years ago.
  • What is black and sits atop the staircase? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
  • What did Steven hawking say when he first got his wheelchair? I can't stand being in this
  • It's a shame that Steven Hawking died He's been on a roll since age 21.
  • Why does Steven Hawking only speak in one-liners? He can't do stand-up.
  • Steven hawking walks into a bar Oh wait
  • Everyone thinks it's crazy that Jesus walked on water... But no one ever mentions that Steven Hawking ran on batteries.
  • Why can't Steven hawking drive Because he has no motor function
  • Name a girl who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Steven Hawking's wife
Hawking joke, Name a girl who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Hawking joke, Name a girl who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Witty Hawking Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about hawking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hunchback jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hawking pranks.

Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up...

And he immediately fell on the floor.

2 "black" questions that aren't racist.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What's black and screaming? stevie wonder answering the iron.

How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever?

He knows a lot about black holes

Physicist Frank Wilczek states that there is life on other planets...

Profesor Stephen Hawking maintains his position.

I've been waiting on Stephen Hawking to tell his racist joke...

I mean, it's got to be a good one – he's been looking over his shoulder for years.
(from my brother Heath).

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire

Stephen Hawking can actually be pretty funny sometimes...

But I don't think he's got what it takes to do stand-up.

I just tried to woo Stephen Hawking.

But I don't think I pushed the right b**....

How does Stephen Hawking have s**...?

Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace...

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.
One more...what's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire. I'm so sorry

What do you call a h**... from Stephen Hawking?

A s**... of Genius.

Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number?

Everytime I call, a machine answers.

How does Stephen Hawking commit s**...?


A lot of people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

Stephen Hawking disagrees.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Walking Talking

Stephen Hawking

What if Stephen Hawking

Is the real Slim Shady but he can't stand up

People ask me what's my favorite vegetable.

Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer.

Stephen Hawking is a very paranoid man

He's always looking over his shoulder.

What was Stephen Hawking when he was younger?

Stephen Walking

What do Evel Knievel and Stephen Hawking have in common?

Their love of ramps.

Stephen Hawking is actually the real Slim Slady

He just can't stand up.

There's only one vegetable I like

Stephen Hawking

TIL Stephen Hawking is British

Never realized because of his accent.

I tried calling Stephen Hawking the other day

But I kept getting his answering machine

Stephen Hawking recently released his most recent book. He has spent the last 15 years writing it.

It's about time.

What do you call a vegetable that's sorta cool?

Stephen Hawking

How do we know it's Stephen Hawking talking and not just the black box?

There are no ads.

Your momma's so fat

She gives off Hawking radiation

I hear they've introduced a new category to the grammies

The quietest album; and the award goes to:
Stephen Hawking... Unplugged

Researchers rolled an assortment of vegetables down a hill to see which would travel fastest

Stephen Hawking won by a landslide

Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time...

When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.
Apparently she stood him up.

Stephen Hawking has passed at the age of 76.

ALS well that ends well.

Why did Stephen Hawking only eat meat?

Because eating vegetables would be cannibalism.

Even the most intelligent people can't survive a day without electricity

Like Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar

Just kidding he rolled

Stephen Hawking went on a date the other day.

When he went back to his family, he had a dislocated shoulder, 2 broken ribs, and a popped kneecap. It was because she stood him up.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Then Stevie Wonder "says wait you can walk!" Then Hellen keller says "wait you can see!"
Then h**... says "wait you're still alive!"
And that's the story about how my bartender stopped doing drugs.

Why didn't Stephen hawking host a talk show?

because he can't do stand-up comedy

What's one job Stephen hawking would be no good at?

Stand up comedy.

My friend said we should tear down statues of Stephen Hawking

I didn't know there were any statues of Stephen Hawking still standing.

School report.

My teacher gave us an assignment to tell her our idols and then say what we would do if they walked in our house. I got off easy because I said Stephen Hawking.

Hawking joke, School report.

jokes about hawking