Hawaii Jokes
100 hawaii jokes and hilarious hawaii puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hawaii that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the humorous side of Hawaii with these hilarious jokes, featuring local situtations, popular pidgin phrases, beloved Portuguese sayings, classic tourist jokes and more. From hula to Genie-infused puns, get ready to laugh out loud at these Hawaii 5-0-inspired jokes.
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Funniest Hawaii Short Jokes
Short hawaii jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hawaii humour may include short genie jokes also.
- Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha
- Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii? "Aloha Ackbar" doesn't go over well at the airport
- For our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii... ...and for our 26th I plan to go back and get her.
- This is the first year that we didn't go to Hawaii because of coronavirus... Every other year we don't go because we can't afford it.
- You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey..
That's just Hawaii roll. - So Hawaii recently made a new law in regards to noise and the increase of noise complaints due to an uprising in loud laughter. They now have to use a low ha
- A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?" Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."
- People say you cant be sad in Hawaii, its a magical place Apparently, they've never heard of a tropical depression.
- My wife said she wanted to be surprised for her birthday So I took her sister to Hawaii for a week
- Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer
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Hawaii One Liners
Which hawaii one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hawaii? I can suggest the ones about aloha and pacific.
- Do people in Hawaii laugh out loud? Or do they just give out a low ha ?
- Today, in Hawaii, a missile wasn't fired But someone sure will be...
- What do you call a Emo kid in Hawaii? A Tropical Depression
- Did you hear about Steve Harvey's new job? Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
- "Dad, what made you fall ill in Hawaii?" "Poi, son."
- How do you treat a sunburn in Hawaii? With Aloe-ha Vera!
- I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian.
- How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii? Ahola.
- Is loud laughing allowed in Hawaii? No?.. I should really start doing Somoa research..
- People from Hawaii are so lucky! They get to play the floor is lava for real!
- My girlfriend thinks Hawaii is sexist. I told her we had all-mail voting.
- What did godzilla say after he devoured Hawaii? I WANT SAMOA
- What do you call a muslim opening a bar in Hawaii? Aloha Snackbar.
- What do you call two Polar Bears on a date In Hawaii? Lost
- Knock knock Whos there?
It's Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
Im fine thank you.
Fun-Filled Hawaii Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about hawaii you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speedboat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hawaii pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone in Hawaii is mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools.
Hawaii **IS** the early warning system.
What did the Hawaiian dope dealer say to the Eskimo tourist?
Danks for da kine cold stranger!
A man stumbles across an old lamp.....
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yet another genie in the lamp joke
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' p**...! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' p**...! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.
Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!
Shut up and eat what you're told.
Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!
Shut up and keep swimming.
Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
Honestly, I'm scarred.
The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is...
flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.
She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.
The old man replies: "It all felt like 5 minutes..."
The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:
"...underwater".
--Taken from All in a day's work; Reader's digest
"Aloha, a bar,"
said a struggling alcoholic ex-Muslim in Hawaii.
If The Beatles were from Hawaii...
What would they have called their song, "Hello Goodbye?"
A man approached the check in counter
A man approached the check in counter, he had a flight booked to Miami. He leaned over to the lady and said "Miss I have a special request, I would like my green bag to go to London, and my red bag to go to Hawaii"
Confused, the check in lady said "I'm sorry sir we can't do that"
The man responded "Thats great news, because thats what happened last time"
What did the Hawaiian terrorists say when they blew up a restaurant?
ALOHA SNACKBAR
Where did Mohammed take his wife of their trip to Hawaii?
To The Aloha Snackbar
Hawaiian Punch has a new telephone number.
It's the Punch line.
How do Hawaiian Muslims greet each other?
"Aloha Akbar!"
What do you call it when two transgender people go on a couples cruise around Hawaii?
A trans pacific partner ship.
Aloha
Aloha, I'm pretending I'm in Hawaii but really I'm just trying to get lei'd
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know Obama was from Hawaii
Kenya believe it?
What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?
Poke, mon.
I've been travelling around America for so long now. Hawaii, Massachusetts, Texas...
The end is NY.
I was fired for flying my plane from New Zealand to Hawaii.
They said I really crossed the line.
"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii...
"You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.
"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."
It's a great time to invest in retail clothing stock.
Pants and underwear sales in Hawaii are booming.
Hawaii got nervous but...
It missed isle
I don't have to go to Hawaii to hang 10
I can just stand here and smile
I'm having a bun filled with ham and pineapple for my lunch today
That's Hawaii roll.
I went to the midget comedy fest in Hawaii
They called it the "Aloha"
A Muslim opens a cafe in Hawaii called Aloha Snackbar
Business is booming.
What does a Hawaiian say when they get hurt?
Maui!
I went to college in Hawaii and
While I was jogging on the beach one day, I saw a man in the distance drowning !
He was waving his arms screaming:
Helllppppp.... *Shark* ... please... hellllpppppp
And then I started laughing, haha, cause I knew that that shark wasn't going to help him
They say Hawaii is the best place to go to feel like a kid again
Right now you can play "The floor is actually lava"
I found out what is going on with Hawaii
Someone stole the heart of Tafiti
What's a massage with a happy ending in Hawaii called?
A lei.
What did the Hawaiian say to the visiting school kids about Mt. Kilauea?
This blows.
How did the Hawaiian hipster die?
He walked on lava before it was cool.
Kids in Hawaii are tough. Some say they are the toughest kids in the USA.
Their play time is deadly serious. They are the world champions in 'The floor is lava'.
A man and a women are in Hawaii on their honeymoon
They start arguing over the pronunciation of "Hawaii".
The man says it is pronounced "Hawaii" while the woman firmly believes it is pronounced "Havaii".
The woman is sick of this silly argument interfering with their vacation so she asks a local how it is pronounced and he says "Havaii".
The woman was elated to hear that she was correct and thanks the local for his help.
He responds, "You're Velcome".
If two Hawaiians are having a conversation on the U.S.S. Nimitz...
... do they speak carrier pidgin?
Which state is the friendliest?
Hawaii, because even when it's short it still says "HI"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cyclops and his wife looking for their prefect holiday destination
Cyclobs: How do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: Well... You need two i's...
Cyclobs (putting the pen down): My life is just a joke to you isn't it, Linda?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My stepdad told me it was pointless to apply to med-school because I was too s**... to be a doctor
8 years later and one of us is an unemployed loser with a drinking problem and the other is making six figures and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a Hawaiian s**... act, and coincidentally, my favorite dessert?
Coconut cream pie
If Saitama from One Punch Man was from Hawaii instead of Japan
Would his name be Hawaiian Punch?
They are working on a nuclear device in Hawaii
The Nukeulele
What does a Hawaiian Muslim who own a buffet say?
Aloha Snackbar
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cyclops: How do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: Well, you need 2 i's.
Cyclops: [puts pen down] My life is just a joke to you, isn't it Linda?
Why can't the cyclops spell Hawaii?
Cause it has two i's!
What do they call the Fourth of July in Hawaii?
Dependence day.
Cyclops is searching for vacation places.
Cyclops: how do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: well, you need 2 i's
Cyclops: my life is just a joke to you isn't it Linda?
I went to Hawaii with my dad to get a taste of their traditional culture. They set out two bowls of their famous delicacy. When I couldnt choose which one to grab, my dad said,
"Pick your poi, son"
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.
Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Hawaii.
Chuck can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass..................at night.
When Chuck is in Rome, they do what HE does.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one questions why.
My grandma was quite the athlete
She had trophies for all sorts of things. Her most prized was a limbo trophy she won in Hawaii. When she passed my brother wanted it. I said no and he stole it. How much lower can you go?
Did you know Hawaiians never laugh very loud?
They just give aloha!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Hawaiian HOA passed a noise ordinance so strict that I can't even laugh out loud.
All i can do is a low ha.
What did the Hawaiian Jihadist say to encourage himself?
Aloha Akbar!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?"
She replied, "You need two i's."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn't it?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear they just passed a law that you aren't aloud to laugh out loud in Hawaii?
They only allow A low ha
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b**... with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".
The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.
Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's b**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently, it is i**... to laugh loudly in Hawaii
All you can do is a low HA
