Havent Jokes

What are some Havent jokes?

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.

I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.

Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,

there is a stairway to heaven.

I'm never buying a Labrador...

Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?

I phoned my wife today and said...

"Pack a bag dear, I've booked us into a hotel for a few nights."

"Ooh, why's that?" she asked.

I said, "Well I've been playing poker all day, havent I!"

"Really?" she asked again in excitement, "How much have you won?"

"Nothing," I replied. "I've lost the house."

Outsmarting Teacher

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."

An armed robber walkes into a bank

... after he collected the money he turns to a customer and asks: "Did you witness me robbing this bank?" The customer says "Yes" and so the robber shoots him. He turns to a 2nd customer and asks: "Did you witness me robbing that bank?". The 2nd customer also says "Yes" so the robber shoots him. He now turns to a 3rd customer and asks:"Did you witness me robbing that bank?" The 3rd customer says: " I havent witnessed anything but my wife witnessed it all".

Sorry for bad english.
Sorry if its a repost.

I applied for an accountancy job, told them I would give it 110%......

havent heard back :(

Bought an ant farm the other year.

They are right lazy! A whole year and they havent grown me any crops yet!

I havent talked to my wife in 6 months.

I got a slap the last time I interupted her.

Nsfw. My wife and I had not had sex in a couple months but this morning she woke up randy...

He is our neighbor and said her music was up too loud. We still havent had sex.

What do u call an early bitcoin adopter?

A bitster.

Haha why havent i seen this joke yet.

Two guy friends run into each other...

They haven,t seen each other in a long time. One of them urgently says: "I have been meaning to talk to you! I have two bad news for you and one bad news for me!" The other asks: " What is is it?" And the guy answers: "I think your wife is cheating on us!"

How to make Havent jokes?

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