Have A Good Day Jokes
41 have a good day jokes and hilarious have a good day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about have a good day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Have A Good Day Short Jokes
Short have a good day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The have a good day humour may include short enjoy your day jokes also.
- My girlfriend dumped me today saying I was too childish But today is opposite day so it's all good
- I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said "Yes!". I said "Good, because I'm breaking up with you."
- I'm being attacked by Russian hacker! Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day.
- What's the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Florida? About 3 days
In all honesty though, my thoughts and good wishes go out to the people of Florida, - When i was a boy, i had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to stay alive... It's a good thing my brother told me about it
- A banana a day they said was good for cleaning the colon It was a week before I realised you have to eat them
- My friend at work got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and said he didn't feel too good the next day I told him, "What do you expect from taking two Johnsons at once?"
- Meatloaf (RIP) owned a private forest. At dawn every day, he would collect the condensation and drink it. I asked him if it tastes good. He said "dew outta trees ain't bad!"
- Ive been looking all day for a good carpentry pun. Unfortunately, nothing I saw wood work.
- My girflriend was telling me about this guy on Strange Addictions who drinks a gallon of brake fluid every day I guess the good thing is at least he can stop whenever he wants
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Have A Good Day One Liners
Which have a good day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with have a good day? I can suggest the ones about beautiful day and good luck.
- Today's a really good day... 10/10
- My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
- I messaged my ex on the day before my exam. I asked if she had any good cheating tips
- Why did Worf change his hair color? It was a good day to dye.
- Know who's really good at seizing the day? Epileptics.
- I have a really good joke about helium But it'll get no reaction like my cake day.
- On a good day, you can see France from Dover But on a perfect day you can't!
- Last year I got so hammered on Good Friday I woke up in a cave three days later
- What did the Klingon say to the flight attendant? Today is a good day to fly.
- Ate in a good Jewish steak restaurant the other day They served the best rabb-eye in town
- What did the Viking say when hanging out his laundry? "Today is a good day to dry."
- why was the fruit not having a good day he was feeling MELONcholy
- I'm good in bed. I can sleep for days.
- For goodness sake you've had your nose in that book all day long, why? I lost my bookmark
- What's a good day to see tailless monkeys at the zoo? Any gibbon day of the week
Giggle-Inducing Have A Good Day Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about have a good day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean enjoy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make have a good day pranks.
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son"
"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."
He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
The police vs the senior citizen
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp...h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper
How do you tell if a girl is ticklish? You give her two test tickles
I will see myself out. Thank you and have a good day
A man is sued and goes to court...
A man is sued for calling a lady a cow during a heated exchange at work. The man is asked by the judge to pay a small fine to the madam which he does immediately. Just before leaving the courtroom, the man and the judge have the following conversation:
"Your honor, may I ask you a question?"
"By all means sir"
"If i were to call a cow a madam, would I still have to pay a fine?"
"Of course not, that's crazy"
"Thank you your honor"
The man then turns to the woman and says:
"Have a good day madam"
And proceeds to walk out of tthe courtroom
(My dad just told me this in Serbian and it sounded better but this sort of works. Hope you get some gags!)
As I'm walking in to work this morning my boss told me to "Have a good day"
Who am i to argue? Thanked him and came straight back home
I think that a Russian spy is following me.
CORRECTION: I not followed.
Motherland do no such thing.
Have a good day.
People don't even pay attention
I bet you $13456324567 dollars you didn't read that number. You just skipped right over it. You didn't even realize I put a letter in it. No I didn't but you went back and looked.
Have a good day!!
what do you call a movie that takes place in a school?
a school shooting
(if this has been made before i apologise anyways have a good day)
Have a good day
When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.
Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.
Who was the most active of the chinese khanes?
Ginseng khan
I am in a silly mood. Have a good day
My teacher told me to have a good day
So I immediately went home.
Guess I won't be going back now.
Sorry I yelled 'YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME'...
when you said, 'Have a good day, honey.'
Hey You....Yes You
Keep scrolling and have a good day.....
:)
The old Man and the State Trooper
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
The Old Man & The Trooper
A senior citizen drove his brand new Lexus convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road and onto the highway, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down the interstate pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Lexus, looked at the old man, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, it's Friday and my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused........ Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.
Comedy - Tommy Tiernan Christmas Mass Canada
Have a good day with funny Tommy Tiernan
Pull over
Guy buys a nice new sports car, decides to go out for a drive and starts to speed up as he wants to see what his new toy can do, sure enough a cop pulls up behind him and turns his lights on, driver laughs and says no way the cop can keep up with me so he floors it and loses the cop, few minutes go by before he comes to his senses and decides to pull over and wait for the cop to show up which he finally does. Cop gets out of the car and says to the driver, I've had a really long week and don't feel like writing another ticket, if you can come up with an excuse I haven't heard before I'll let you go.
Driver pauses for a second, well officer last week my wife ran off with a cop and I thought you were trying to give her back.
Have a good day sir.
A Brand New Corvette
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mp
h, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
The senior citizen and the Corvette.
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Old guy bought a new car
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
An elderly man who just retired
Went out and purchased a Porshe. He decided that he would go take his brand new car for a ride and see what it could do.
As he was speeding around the country side he sped past a police car on the side of the road.
The officer noticing him going well above the speed limit gave chase. The elderly man looking in his rear vision mirror noticed. Swearing he put his foot down easily outpacing the police car.
Only one minute later the elderly man said to himself "what am I doing. This is no way to live my retirement I could get killed doing this" and proceed to pull over and wait for the police car to catch up.
As the officer got out and asked for his Licence and registration the elderly man looked up and said "I'm very sorry officer I just retired today and purchased this new car, I was just trying to have fun"
The officer thought for a moment and said " Look sir I do understand belive it or not today is my last day on the job as well. I tell you what if you can tell me a good reason for speeding off when I gave chase I will let you go."
The old man thought for a moment and replied "Well officer you see my wife recently cheated on me with a police offer and left me. I saw you in my mirror and thought you were trying to give her back" the officer smiled and replied. "Have a good day sir"
"Have a good day, sir"
He got his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights
flashing and siren blaring.
He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.
Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Twins
Two hours into my first day of work as a Wal-Mart greeter, an ugly woman came in with her two kids. Hearing her swear at them, I said, 'Good morning, welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice kids, are they twins?' The mom answered, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why would you think they're twins? Are you blind or s**...?' I replied, 'I'm not blind or s**.... I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.' My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work!
The speeder
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard--I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper
Seniors!
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
