Haul Jokes
30 haul jokes and hilarious haul puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about haul that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a lift of laughter with this hilarious collection of Haul Jokes! With jokes about U-Hauls, long-hauls, towing and truckloads, you'll be rolling in the aisles! So, buckle up and check out these funny jokes today!
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Funniest Haul Short Jokes
Short haul jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The haul humour may include short cargo jokes also.
- Moving company: "You've got a lot of heavy furniture to haul. I suggest renting a moving truck." Dad: "Why would I want to rent a truck that doesn't move?"
- What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust? Ju-Haul
- Great free find today! Was on my way home from a friend's house today, and ran across a free 60 inch flat screen TV, just sitting on the side of the road next to a U-Haul truck.
- How do you get other people to pay you to haul away your old junk? Tell them it's a garage sale.
- Secret service agent takes a bullet for the President to avoid being hauled before Congress
- After hauling a deer on the back of my car, I was disappointed to find the meat had gone bad. Guess thats what I get for putting it on the spoiler
- Scientists developed a flying device that may haul food (especially boiling liquids) from one place to another... They called it "The Caul Dron"
- A ship hauling maple syrup ran ashore, The captain was quoted as saying, "It's a sticky situation."
- You guys remember Natalie Hollaway? She got Hauled Away.
- Why did the propane salesman get pulled over? He was hauling gas.
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Haul One Liners
Which haul one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with haul? I can suggest the ones about lift and pickup.
- I saw a cop pull over a U Haul today... Looks like he was trying to bust a move.
- What do you call a convoy of trucks hauling cheddar? A cheesy pickup line
- What do you call a chicken hauling logs? Pull Tree
- What's a truckers favorite kind of house? The ones with the long haul ways!
- Why doesn't Texas have U-Haul trucks? Cause they have Yee-Haw trucks instead.
- A paralyzed man calls U-Haul... "Hey can you help me move?"
- What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say? Ewe haul.
- What do you call a communist U-Haul? A We-Haul.
- What do you call a truck that hauls Kosher goods? A Semite truck.
- The best thing about a U-Haul truck Even if you're stuck in traffic, you're still moving.
- I left a gorilla in a tow zone I ape-haul-ogize
- What do you call a forklift that hauls pigs? A porklift!
- Asked this lesbian couple from Boston if they met at UMass... Nope, U-Haul.
- What did the cowboy use to move his family out west? Yee haul
This joke isnt that great - What is a deer's favourite beer delivery company? Elk-O-Haul
Long Haul Jokes
Here is a list of funny long haul jokes and even better long haul puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Are people who hate long haul truck drivers.... Considered to be an anti-semi?
Hilarious Haul Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about haul you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wagon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make haul pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Strength vs. Intelligence
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Worst Doctor Ever...
Dr K. Lim Haul.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An environmentalist and a lumberjack are having a discussion on women.
They both are having a tough time talking to women, so they decide to offer each other advice.
Environmentalist: "So what's your best pickup line?"
Lumberjack: "It's more of a steel cable I tie to my truck to haul logs"
Environmentalist: "No I mean what do you first say to them?"
Lumberjack: "I don't know. What's your icebreaker?"
Environmentalist: "I find the best icebreaker is global warming"
Lumberjack: "We're both s**..."
British Airways bags the best in-flight service award!
On a long haul UK flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes.
However, he was finished in two minutes so he left the toilet and wandered off down the aisle, in the opposite direction from where his mother was.
Meanwhile, a businessman entered the toilet and locked the door.
After the five minutes were up, the mother knocked on the door and called out, "Do you need any help with the zipper?"
From behind the door, a startled male voice said, "Good God!!! That's what I call service!…."
The long haul
an airplane is shipping a large amount of bricks, when suddenly the pilot yells over the intercom "the plane is going down we need to lower the weight" what do you do?
*throw out one brick*
how do you fit an elephant in a freezer?
*open the door, let him in, shut the door.*
how do you fit a giraffe in a freezer?
*open the door, take out the elephant, let the giraffe in, shut the door.*
the king of the jungle is holding a party and all the animals show up except one, who is it?
*the giraffe*
a woman is trying to cross a deadly river filled with deadly crocodiles, but survives. how?
*all the crocodiles are at the party.*
but then she suddenly dies. why?
*she got hit by the brick......*
Two men are walking through the forest when they stumble upon a large sinkhole.
Guy says, "Woah! This thing looks deep; how deep down do you think it goes?" The two men search around for a long stick or branch to assess the depth, but find nothing of use. They continue their search and they stumble across an old, rusty anvil; and naturally, they haul the anvil over and toss it into the hole. They wait and wait, but they don't hear anything happen. Suddenly, a donkey comes running full speed ahead and just leaps into the sinkhole. The two men are shocked, "Did you see that donkey!? I've never seen an animal sprint like that!" Minutes later, a farmer comes sprinting into the scene and says, "Guys! Have you seen my donkey? He was just on the farm and completely took off!" One of the men answers back, "He was just here! He came sprinting through the woods and took a leap into this sink hole!" The farmer answers back, "No, that's absolutely impossible. He was tied to an anvil."
