The Best 55 Hats Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hats jokes. There are some hats scarves jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hats headwear puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hats Jokes and Puns

So heres one.

So a teenager walks into a store in the mall to buy a hat. He asks for what size he should get. The store manager tells him most of the hats are one size fits all. Just then a screaming toddler walks in followed by a young girl. The boy looks at them, turns to the store manager and says "that's what they said about the condom."

Overcrowded church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.

After a few moments, there were only three people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

Why are cowgirls Bowlegged?

Because Cowboys eat with their Hats on.

Hats joke, Why are cowgirls Bowlegged?

Why do cowgirls have bow-legs?

Because cowboys always eat with their hats on.

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats.

An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

Two hats on a hat hanger, one says to the other....

You go on ahead.

Hats joke, Two hats on a hat hanger, one says to the other....

Why don't Korean captains wear hats?

Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.

Childhood was easy

When I was a kid, I used to love playing pirate. We'd dress up in our hats and eyepatches and run to people on the street yelling 'we're pirates, give us yer money!' Some would play along and some would be a bit intimidated. Apparently this isn't excusable if you're 22.

Where do Arabians with cowboy hats gather?

Howdy Arabia

I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

You can explore hats baggy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hats eyepatches dad jokes. There are also hats puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Judging by the number of hats on the hanger...

...and the amount of shoes underneath, I am married to a three-headed spider.

Today it's National Take Off Your Cap Day

Hats off to whoever founded it.

Everytime I tell someone a joke about hats, they never get it.

Almost as though it goes over their heads.

Why are do many Italian-Americans named Tony?

When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had "To NY" on their hats.

Y'know, the KKK actually do have some good points

on their hats

Hats joke, Y'know, the KKK actually do have some good points

What do you call a black-hating Asian-American who's really cute and likes big pointy hats?


What's a hats favourite thing?

Getting head

Why do Italians wear hats?

So they know which end to wipe.

Do you get the idea of hats?

Because it goes right right over my head.

Why aren't raccoons afraid of the rain?

Because they're made out of hats.

The Cure for the Common Cold

It's called "The Whiskey and a Hat Trick"

All you need is a bottle of whiskey and a hat.

First, sit on your bed. Place the hat at the foot of the bed. Proceed to drink whiskey until you see two hats, then go to sleep.

If you do this your cold will be gone in just 7 days.

If you don't, it'll last a whole week.

Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged?

Their boyfriends eat with their hats on.

I made the mistake of letting my Beanie Babies grow up...

... and now all I've got is a box full of hats.

Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work.

No... I meant take your hats off. You look stupid.

All this trump merchandise made me wonder

We have make America great again hats, t shirts, and socks, but I've never seen a make America great again dress. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing.

Why are jokes about hats never funny?

Because they always go right over your head.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

On hat said to the other: you stay here; I'll go on a head.

I like my women how I like hats

on my head.

What do you call "A man that pulls rabbits out of hats, escapes from dangerous traps, and does card tricks in front of an audience that claps?"

Just an allusion.

Why does the KKK wear those pointy hats?

White Wizard Hat: +10 to racist spells, -15 to black magic. It's all about the stats, man.

There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island.

They had no money but over the next three years they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.

Two hats were deciding what to do

One says "I'll wait here, you go on a head"

Me: "Alexa, add tinfoil for hats to my shopping cart."

Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."

Why is everyone wearing santa hats right now,

It isn't even Halloween.

This might go over some of your heads


What's the difference between a scientist and a magician?

One pulls rabbits out of hats and the other polls habits out of rats

Magicians have rabbits in their hats because they have Trix up their sleeves. I'm sorry

What do you call a group of rabbits with little hats?


Why do spies always wear hats?

Because they are undercover.

Nazi's need to hire their old fashion designer back...

... the arm bands at least looked cool, these new hats are just ugly.

I tend to be extra cautious around tall, large men with ten gallon hats

They're pretty shady individuals.

Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"

"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."

"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"

"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"

The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"

I have a friend who always does an incredible job fixing my headgear.

Hats off to him.

Why do some conspiracy weirdos wear tin foil hats with four holes in it?

To make sure 5G radiation can't get through.

Two hats are sitting on a shelf

One of them says to the other:

You go on a head, I'll catch up.

The girl and the pastry chefs

There once was a girl who kept being followed by pastry chefs wearing cook hats. After countless days of being followed, she asked her friend if she could tell her why the chefs were following her. The friend replied "you really need to do something about that yeast infection."

A man gives dollar to a homeless person

After he threw the dollar in his hat, he noticed a second hat.

The man frowned and asked: "Why do you have two hats?"

"Well, you see..." Said the wanderer. "Business is going well these days so I recently opened my second store."

Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side?

So they can fit three in the pickup.

Do you know why cowgirls are bowlegged?

Because cowboys eat with their hats on.

Two hats are on a hat rack...

One hat looks at the other and says, "You stay here. I'll go on a head."

Why do cowgirls walk around bow-legged?

Because cowboys like to eat with their hats on.

Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?

It's a little gnome fact.

An couple of Swedish jokes

What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?

- No smoking allowed.

Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?

- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.

Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?

- so he could roll the window down in case it gets too hot.

What does a Norwegian calculator say you if you enter 1 + 1?

- please wait...

Why are cowboy hats curled on the sides?

So three of those assholes could sit in a truck.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hats belts jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hats cowgirls piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes