Hating Jokes
60 hating jokes and hilarious hating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you obsessively despise jokes? Uncover the underlying hatred that makes some people hate jokes and what you can do to manage your feelings. Learn how to combat man-hating jokes and create a healthier mindset.
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Funniest Hating Short Jokes
Short hating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hating humour may include short hates jokes also.
- I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying it's their cake day, just so people can wish them. You won't catch me doing that today.
- I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall - I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint. He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
- Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait.
- I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me. I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
- Don't you hate it when you can't sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago? I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night
- My psychologist told me: "Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them."
I have done so, but now I don't know what to do with the letters... - Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait
- Let's discuss who the most hated world leader is as of now I think Putin just Trump-ed all of his competitors
- I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...
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Hating One Liners
Which hating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hating? I can suggest the ones about hatred and love hate.
- I hate when people ask how I see myself in 3 years I don't have 2020 vision
- I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy It's not like I did anything
- Chess is banned under Islam They hate that the queen moves freely.
- Why does spiderman hate driving with his evil twin? Because he's a bad parallel Parker
- I hate people who take drugs For example, border security.
- Why do librarians hate tennis? Too much racket.
- I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am... I'm not really a mourning person.
- Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage? They say he fears the wurst
- Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
- Why does Oedipus hate profanity? He kisses his mother with that mouth.
- Why did Stalin only write in lowercase? Because he hated Capitalism
- Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee? 'Cause they hate the French press
- I hate people who take drugs... specifically the DEA and US Customs.
- Why does Karl Marx write in lowercase? He hates capitalism
- I hate being bipolar, it's great
Woman Hating Jokes
Here is a list of funny woman hating jokes and even better woman hating puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Never treat a woman like an object... It hates that.
- A man goes to the movies and sees a large dog sitting next to a woman watching the film He says to her "I am surprised your dog is enjoying this movie"
The woman replies "Me too, he hated the book" - What's one thing that women hate more than being stared at? When you stare at the woman standing next to them.
That's my original for the year! - As a guy who is a feminist I hate man-splaining, I wish woman could understand things on their own instead.
- A woman lost so much menstrual blood she ended up unconscious for several weeks in a hospital. I hate it when I intend a period but end up with a coma.
- I found a woman that was just like my mother. She talked the same, laughed the same, dressed the same. So I took her home My dad absolutely hated her!
- If there existed a masseuse who hated woman Would he be called a Massogynist
- Why did Anakin Skywalker hate bed time? Because that's when the sandman came.
And not just the sand man but the sand woman and and children too - Two cannibals are having dinner together The man says I really hate my mother in law The woman says Then try the patatoes
- Liposuction surgeons hate her! Learn how this woman lost 250 pounds in just one day with ONE easy trick! She became widowed
Man Hating Jokes
Here is a list of funny man hating jokes and even better man hating puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Man "I hate the world and everyone in it. I have no patience for it. It's starting to make me sick". Wife: "what do you think about me?" Man: "oh you mean the world to me, darling".
- A strange man appeared at the door and offered me 100k, but 200k would be given to the person I hate most. Terrific I said, I would love 300k.
- My wife has told me she wants a divorce because there's another man. I hate to lose her… …but I just love him more…
- A man and his wife go to a therapist. Therapist: What brought you two here today?
Her: I hate how he takes things so literally.
Therapist: And you?
Him: A car. - I tried to join this walking group, but was rejected because they said I didn't walk "the right way." Man, I hate gait-keepers.
- Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy
- Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts? He couldn't stand all the racket!
- I just got in touch with my inner self Man, how I hate this cheap toilet paper at work
- my girlfriend refuses to remove her leg hair man...I hate these anti-waxxers
- I was forced to dress up in a half man, half horse costume. I hate being the centaur of attention.
Laughter Hating Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about hating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean despise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hating pranks.
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I️ said, No, in fact, I️ like your mother in law a lot better than I️ like mine
My Wife just accused me of hating her side of the family and relatives.
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
Please stop hating on Trump, he saved my friend's life!
Earlier last year my friend had been in a coma for years. The doctors tried everything and told us to pray for a miracle.
And then one day his nurse came and switched the TV to Trump's campaign, he woke up and turned it off.
This hating of people that breastfeed in public really has to stop.
I can raise my cat any way I want.
How are republicans and democrats like divorced parents?
They care more about you hating the other person than they do about your well-being.
Before coffee....Hating everybody.
After coffee.....Feeling great about hating everybody.
Apple is going to release the first smart vacuum cleaner this year
The first Apple product that doesn't s**...
(not hating on apple or anything but i got this joke somewhere)
With the world hating Russians again
The 80's have truly come back in fashion.
Why can't we blame all Stingrays for Steve Irwin's death?
Because hating all of them would clearly be an example of Ray-cism.
Feminism is just like a wife…
It starts out nice, but ages badly and ends up hating the man.
Why's everyone hating Mayweather, I think it feels great out
What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?
Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!
Did you hear about the boy who grew up hating dad jokes?
He was a groan man.
When I told my friend I was getting a Jeep he was hating on it saying s**... like "What about the glaciers and the rainforests?"
I was like "Bro, this thing has 4WD Low Range and diff locks, it'll handle that s**... easily"
Hating Pachyderms
If you say you hate all pachyderms, but you're actually cool with elephants and rhinos, your really just being hippo critical
Don't you hate people that explain jokes
Get it? It's funny because it's explaining a joke about hating people that explain jokes.
I'm deciding whether or not to join christianmingle.
If I do, what should my name be? HungLikeJesus? JesusInTheStreets_SatanInTheSheets? HeCameAgain? Do you have any suggestions for blasphemous names?
Note: this is a joke, I'm not hating god, I'm hating the closed minded website.
It's cool how today everyone is applauding patriots for standing up for human rights...
...and by next Sunday everyone will be back to hating the Patriots again
This hating of people who breast feed in public places has to stop!
I'll raise my dog however I like.
I'm tired of people hating on integral calculus for being so shallow!
Integrals are more than just the sum of its parts!
I don't get why everybody is hating on Dom Capers
It's not like he's able to defend himself
My wife accused me of hating her relatives...
I said, "That's not true! As a matter of fact I like your Mother-in-law much more than I like mine."
My neighbours should stop hating me whenever I wheel my rubbish bin to the front of my house.
I'm just putting it out there.
I don't know why everyone is hating on this mayweather
it's beautiful out.