I don't have 2020 vision
I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...do I keep the letters?
Stupid firemen
They hate that the queen moves freely.
You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall
He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?
Click bait.
Irene.
There's no joke here, I just hate that bitch.
Grandma's fingering herself again
I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night
For example, border security.
"Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them."
I have done so, but now I don't know what to do with the letters...
Click bait
Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...
I'm not really a mourning person.
*I hate myself for repeating this. But I heard this when I was living in Texas.*
Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it.
Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
Because it's white and settles on their land.
He kisses his mother with that mouth.
But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.
Fuck, I hate being a teacher.
"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."
'Cause they hate the French press
specifically the DEA and US Customs.
Because it's white and settles on their land.
can't wait to get out of prison.
Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.
I hate cops.
The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".
They know my name isnt Someone Help
A small chest with no booty.
I hate being a teacher...
I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.
Especially police and customs.
Because it has a bigger wall
I fucking hate prison.
He was all up in this guy's face, their noses less than an inch apart.
He screamed at the recruit, "You hate me don't you?!?"
The recruit responded as calmly as possible, "Sir, no sir."
The instructor yelled back, "You're going to piss on my grave if you outlive me, aren't you?!?"
The recruit retorted, "Sir, no way. When I get out of the service, I will not fucking wait in line for anything! Sir."
I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own.
but I hate punctuation
Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
My Therapist told me "Write letters to the people who you hate and burn them later".
I did that.... But now what should i do with the letters???
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
Fucking firemen
......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!
Not for the gadgets or the money. I just hate my parents.
Would it kill them to write few sentences?
Because he preferred a cock-er-two!
This is my first original pirate-themed joke. I have more on the way. Love it? Hate it? Let me know!
I hate cops.
They hate Tibet.
Because it's white and settles on their land
Because I do
Before long they're arguing...
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "For what?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "For what?!?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"
Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Because its white and settles on their land.
The only club named after two things that ISIS hate.
They discussed me.
My girlfriend of 2 months told me she had a lot of abandonment issues. I looked it up online and that's not even a real magazine. So I packed my bags and left her.
Especially when they try to let you down gently.
"It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".
God, I hate being a teacher…
Because I really hate marathons
She slaps him and tells him to go say that to his grandma.
He goes to his grandma and says "look, I'm a white man". She slaps him too and tells him to go tell his father.
He goes to his father and says "look dad, I'm a white man" He slaps him too and asks "what have you learned?"
The boy says, "I've only been white two minutes and I already hate you black bastards."
Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"
Racists, niggers, and hypocrites.
They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.
They discussed me
She was a lesbian.
There so stupid
It's awesome
Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.
I hate being a teacher.
I get that you have more money than me, no need to rub it in
"Mom, why does my beak look different than yours?"
She replies, "Well son, I hate to break it to you, but you're adapted."
Because they don't want de dust 2 get in their eyes.
A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm f-----g her."
The boss says, "You f--k your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."
Our whole lives we're taught that nothing worth having comes easy.
On the one hand, I hate that they have to remake all the classic movies with female leads as if that somehow makes them better. On the other hand, lotion.
Do I look like I have a 2020 vision?
They always cross the line.
I fucking hate prison.
3 grumpy old men are sitting on a park bench...
First old man says "Oy, I HATE gettin' old. It's getting to now where I can't take a good healthy piss anymore!"
Second old man nods: "You ain't lyin'. Getting old sucks. Just ONCE I wish I could take a big healthy shit like I used to when I was a young man."
Third old man shrugs and says, "Well, fellas I gotta say...every morning - regular - right at 6 o'clock - I take a nice, long piss. And every morning at 7:00 - like clockwork - I take a really big healthy shit...
I sure wish I could wake up before eight."
I just think marathons are *way* too much running
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
"I hate you, I want a divorce! Get out!"
As he walks out the door she screams: "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
Husband says: "So wait a minute, now you want me to stay?"
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult.
If he didn't, Verizon would probably fire him.
They hate plaque buildup.
I'm not really a mourning person
because I hate meeting fathers.
It makes it really difficult for me to see them through the window...
Because I despise the 100 meter
And all they can say is, "Oh fucking hell, I can see you having a shit!"
Essays.
We don't care how many heart attack victims you have to take to the hospital.
Those guys are fucking immature assholes.
I mean, they hate Capitalism.
The NSA appears to be the only department which listens
They can't even stand up for themselves
Fucking firemen.
Student 2 : My name is Sarah Baker and my surname represents that my forefathers were Bakers
Student 3 : My name is John Dickinson and I fucking hate this game
like yeah i know you have more money than me but you don't need to rub it in
You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
They're so full of themselves
And it disgusts me that two are running for president.
Said no Juan ever.
I donated 4 and I'm somehow a criminal
Two guys were sitting in a bar, when one guy said to the other: "Don't you hate it when they repeat the title in the post?"
Racists, hypocrites and niggers.
I mean you don't see engineering students calling themselves engineers or arts students calling themselves baristas
It's great.
"Who are you?" and "Is that a gun?"
They're full of themselves.
On one side, I love to kill babies but on the other side, I hate to give women a choice.
Oscillating ones cool down a room much better.
les and I click on the video purely to see what they named their video
Personally, I think Europe is the most ignorant country in the world.
I've never had a beef with them.
Mainly customs officers
I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks
Like shutup, I'm trying to film a movie here!
The Jewish guy turns to the Chinese guy and says "man I really hate Chinese people." The Chinese guy goes "why?" And the Jewish guy goes "because you guys bombed Pearl Harbor!" The Chinese guy says "that wasn't us that was the Japanese!" The Jewish guy replies "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese you're all the same!"
So the Chinese guy thinks about this and then says "well you know what? I really hate Jewish people!" And the Jewish guy goes "why?" And the Chinese guy goes "because you guys sunk the titanic!" The Jewish guy says "that wasn't us! That was an iceberg!" The Chinese guy replies "iceberg, Weinberg, Steinberg you're all the same!"
They're so full of themselves
I'm not really a mourning person.
I get it, you have more money than me. No need to rub it in
and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice
Stupid firemen.
You'll hate it as an adult if you were forced to have it as a kid.
Said no Juan ever
Because they hate Capitalism.
Their so stupid.
Because all proper tea is theft.
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
Accidentally pressing "submit" when making a post and
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you're gonna hate it as an adult.
You know what I mean?
So blind people can hate them too
Don't you hate double standards? If a girl sleeps with a lot of guys she is called a slut, but when a guy does it he is called a homosexual.
I don't have 2020 vision
There all idiots
I really hate babies.
Her mother replies "shut up and keep eating."
Sorry if this has been posted already, a teacher of mine told my class this and i had to share!
Because I really hate marathons
The smoker says, "This filthy habit is ruining my life. My wife hates it, my kids hate it, my grandpa died from it, I just want to quit!"
The alcoholic says,"Alcohol has ruined every relationship I have ever had, I can't even hold down a job, I need to get off the bottle."
The gay guy says, "Ever since I came out, I have lost so many friends, even my family treats me differently. I just want things to back the way they were."
The psychiatrist hands each of them a pill telling them that it is an instant cure, they each gobble them down without thinking twice.
The psychiatrist then says, "The only thing is, if you ever has a smoke again, or if you have another drink again, or if you have any sexual contact with another man again, you will drop dead."
Afterwards, the three of them went to a restaurant, chilled by what the psychiatrist had just told them.
"I can't take this anymore, I need a drink!" The alcoholic goes up to the bar and slams down a shot. Drops dead.
The smoker and the gay guy look at each other in shock. The smoker says, "Oh God this is real, I need some fresh air." They go outside and on the table there is an ashtray which has half of a cigarette, still smoldering. The gay guy looks at the smoker and says, "If you bend over to pick up that cigarette, we're both dead.
They are so full of themselves.
I dont have 2020 vision
Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Hate? Well, here are the best jokes about Hate to have fun with.