hate Jokes

I hate when people ask how I see myself in 3 years

I don't have 2020 vision

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...

I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...do I keep the letters?

Chess is banned under Islam

They hate that the queen moves freely.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.

He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.

As the KKK are so full of hate, bigotry and want to rid America of others...

Should we call them Vanilla Isis ?

Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait.

Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..

Grandma's fingering herself again

Don't you hate it when you can't sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?

I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

I hate people who take drugs

For example, border security.

My psychologist told me:

"Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them."

I have done so, but now I don't know what to do with the letters...

Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait

I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by...

Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...

I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am...

I'm not really a mourning person.

The Best Actually Racist Joke I know

*I hate myself for repeating this. But I heard this when I was living in Texas.*

Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.

That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.

Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers...

Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

Why do Indians hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows...

But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

'Cause they hate the French press

I hate people who take drugs...

specifically the DEA and US Customs.

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

Hey guys, don't you just hate it when you're woken up in the middle of the night for sex?

can't wait to get out of prison.

Is it OK to hate certain races?

Try as I might I just can't get myself to like the 200 meter dash.

I yelled "shotgun", long before anyone else, but I still got to sit in the backseat.

I hate cops.

A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex

They know my name isnt Someone Help

I hate being bipolar, it's great

Since We're Doing Pirate Jokes. What Does Every Pirate Hate?

A small chest with no booty.

Is it okay to hate a certain race?

I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.

I hate people that take drugs..

Especially police and customs.