Hassle Jokes
21 hassle jokes and hilarious hassle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hassle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Hassle Short Jokes
Short hassle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hassle humour may include short fuss jokes also.
- David Hasselhoff calls his Agent and demands, "I want everyone to call me The Hoff from now on." His Agent says, "Sure. No hassle."
- David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on. Agent: Sure David. No hassle.
- Why did david hasselhoff change his name to 'The Hoff'? He couldn't be bothered with the hassle
- This Vietnamese couple I knew got married... Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyễn-Nguyễn situation.
- My ex-girlfriend made a really great cake the other day Getting her legs to fit in the oven was a real hassle, though.
- I work at a tree stand, and had to my first return today. I was worried that it might be a hassle, but it turned out pine.
- A mom hassles her son to take out the garbage. the boys says "sheesh, mom you tell me to do that at least once a week!"
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Hassle One Liners
Which hassle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hassle? I can suggest the ones about annoyance and trouble.
- I'm a tire in real life It's a wheel hassle.
Hilarious Hassle Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about hassle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bother jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hassle pranks.
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar
and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man gets married and decides to set some ground rules..
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride thought for a minute and replied, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Who's that over there talking to himself?" I asked the barman in the pub.
"That's Bill," He replied. "He comes in every dinner time and sits and has a drink with his imaginary wife."
"Is he a loony?" I asked.
"What makes you say that?" He laughed.
"Why else would you have an imaginary wife?" I replied, "an imaginary girlfriend would be far less hassle, and you'd still get regular s**...."
A police officer arrests a drunk man
After minutes of hassle getting the man in the police car, they're finally ready to go.
The officers turns around and says "Please fasten your seatbelt".
The man smirks and says "It's ok. Nobody will pull us over"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
ypical macho man married typical good-looking lady
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typical macho man...
...married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "Nope, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night...... whether you're here or not."
A Jewish man is elected president...
Soon after, he calls up his mother to tell her the good news. "Mom, did you hear, I've been elected president!" "Oh, T
That's so great to hear, darling. I'm so proud of you!"
"So," asks the man, "you'll be coming out for the inauguration, right?" "I'm not sure," says his mother, "D.C. is so cold this time of year." "I'm the president, mom. I can arrange for you to get any sweater you want."
"I'm still not sure," continues his mother, "flying across the country is such a hassle." "Mom, I'll have you flown out here on Air Force One. It'll be no trouble to you." Finally, his mother agrees.
The day of the inaguration rolls around, and his mother is seated between the Vice President and the Secretary of State. As the man is being sworn in, his mother nudges the vice president.
"You see that boy up there? The one with his hand on the Bible? His brother's a doctor. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
man and woman relationship
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not."
A lucky 95 year old grandpa found Alaadin magic lamp in his attic.
After he touched it, a genie came out and said, "since it Christmas time, you may ask ONLY ONE wish." Grandpa thought for a bit and said: oh ya, can you build me a bridge from the NY city to London, across the atlantic. Genie replied, "come on grandpa, that's a hassle for me, and it is cold in the Atlantic now, pick an easier wish."
Grandpa paused for a second and said.. Oh ya! Can you make my wife young and hot like those TV supermodels. Genie replied: "Of course! that's a super easy task. How old is your wife?" Grandpa replied, "90, and here is a picture of her now!" Genie replied, "Awesome!!! Would you like the bridge one lane or two lanes?"
Three fruits discuss marriage.
Doug the Banana is chatting with his buddies about his upcoming wedding. Doug says, "Yeah you know, the wedding planning has been a huge hassle. Everything's expensive, everyone's telling us what we should do, and we're worried about offending people we don't invite. There are so many little things to take care of and its taking a toll. Marsha and I have actually considered eloping, if you can believe that. It would make things so much easier."
Fred the Grape pipes in and says, "Yeah its funny you mention that. Darla and I have actually thought about eloping. Her mother is crazy and don't want her meddling with the wedding. The family issues are just a lot to manage and its really taking away from the magic of it all. It would just be a lot simpler to get away on our own."
Finally, Doug and Fred turn to Bob, a Melon, and ask him, "What about you Bob? Will you and Sandra ever elope?" And Bob says, "I can't."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"I can't see the president!"
The president is holding a speech. A lady is listening in the crowd, when suddenly someone taps her on the shoulder and tells her:
"Pardon me, miss! Could you t**... hat please? I can't see the president!"
The lady does so. A few seconds pass, when the same man taps her on the shoulder again:
"Sorry, but would you be so kind to move your hair to your other side? I can't see the president!"
The lady moves her hair. But again, the man asks her:
"Excuse me, but wouldn't it be much of a hassle if you stepped aside for a bit? I can't see the president!"
The lady gets frustrated, turns around and tells him:
"What else do you need? Should I give you a telescope as well?"
"No thank you, I already have one on my rifle."
