Harvey Jokes
145 harvey jokes and hilarious harvey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harvey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a laugh? If so, this article has the ultimate collection of Harvey-related jokes! Check out the puns and one-liners featuring iconic names such as Harvey Wallbanger, Harvey Specter, Harvey Norman, Harvey Practical, Steve Harvey, Willis and Phillips, and Dwight. Enjoy a good chuckle today!
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Funniest Harvey Short Jokes
Short harvey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harvey humour may include short harvey weinstein jokes also.
- What's the difference between "To Catch a Predator" and Harvey Weinstein? One stars molesters, while the other molests stars.
- What do you call a Dent that looks better from a different angle? Harvey
\*My first 100% original dad joke. I am proud of me\* - Today I learned about Harvey E. Brown, a civil war surgeon who had so many amputations he ran out of fake legs and had to use a shovel. It was a ground-breaking medical procedure.
- Is it too soon to say a Hurricane Harvey joke Or should I just wait for everything to blow over?
- How many Harvey Weinsteins does it take to change a lightbulb? That light bulb will change itself right in front of him if she knows what's good for her.
- I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.
- Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me. He really touched me.
- My wife called me when I was out of town and told be about the 13 inches she got from Harvey last night. I didn't know hurricanes could reach North Dakota...
- Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey... is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!
- Why was Batman in Texas trying to stop the Hurricane? Because it kept leaving Harvey Dents everywhere
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Harvey One Liners
Which harvey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harvey? I can suggest the ones about steve harvey and hurricane harvey.
- I want to make a joke about hurricane Harvey But I am scared my inbox will be flooded
- Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton any second now
- The Universal Miss award goes to Steve Harvey.
- Did you hear about Steve Harvey's new job? Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
- What would Steve Harvey change his name to if he suddenly became bulimic? Heave Starvey
- And best picture goes to... La La Land - Steve Harvey
- Did you hear about the big fight Steve Harvey had with his wife? It was a family feud.
- What's harvey price's favourite gas? Carbon Mongoxide
- What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein
- Who hits Houston harder? Bobby Brown or Hurricane Harvey.
~Probably too soon. - What's black and screams? Harvey price answering a iron
- Did you hear Steve Harvey and his wife got into a fight? It was a family feud
- And your 2015 Miss Universe is Columbia! -Steve Harvey
- It's so cold... Harvey Weinstein is keeping his hands to himself.
- Every Half Dollar is Lee Harvey Oswald Cus each one has a headshot of Kennedy
Harvey Weinstein Jokes
Here is a list of funny harvey weinstein jokes and even better harvey weinstein puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between Harvey Weinstein and EA? EA only sticks their hands in your pants if you have money in your pockets.
- Now that Harvey Weinstein's Hollywood career is over, he's decided to open a bank. Word is that he's been giving out plenty of unwanted advances.
- What are the best and worst things about sleeping with Harvey Weinstein? The roles, and the rolls.
- Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, and Ajit Pai walks into a bar ... Later, a man walks up to the bottomless sinkhole, looks down, and asks Why's the bar so low?
- Did you know Harvey Weinstein once submitted a slogan to Carl's Jr., but they had to change it? The original slogan was, "You're not leaving this place until it's all over your face."
- What do Harvey Weinstein and Macy's have in common? Little boys pants, half off
- Actress: I want to be in the Aladdin remake. Harvey Weinstein: All you have to do is rub my lamp.
- "At first if you don't succeed, try, try again" - Harvey Weinstein
- What's the difference between Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein? Bill Cosby weighs less and is Black.
- I hear Harvey Weinstein has been fired from his own company. Maybe he'll go to work for the TSA.
Steve Harvey Jokes
Here is a list of funny steve harvey jokes and even better steve harvey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Family Feud must be a really hard show to work on Steve Harvey is always asking for cervezas.
- Christmas is always awkward in Steve Harvey's house None of the presents have the correct names.
- TIL Steve Harvey was the valedictorian of his graduating class. Oh wait, no he wasn't. My mistake.
- What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common? They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.
- Do you know what the Steve Harvey autobiography is called? Neither does his publisher. He gave it a title, but then took it back.
- What would you call a bulimic Steve Harvey? Heave Starvey.
- So, apparently Steve Harvey got a job at the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.
- I always knew Steve Harvey was a menace to Society... Just didn't know he particularly had it out for Texas.
- What do you call Steve Harvey with hair? Weave Harvey
- I'm glad Steve Harvey didn't host new years eve. I don't think I'm ready for it to be 2017 yet.
Hurricane Harvey Jokes
Here is a list of funny hurricane harvey jokes and even better hurricane harvey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- No way Jose! Another? I can Harvey believe it. Irma find somewhere safer to live. The local chicken shack changed its name in honor of the occasion. They're now Raisin HurriCanes.
- A tree fell on our car during the recent Hurricane, and my dad won't get it repaired. He even named the damage. Harvey Dent
- When someone brings up Hurricane Harvey even though that meme's been dead for a year now.
- North Korea is a lot like Hurricane Harvey The biggest threat in the ocean until some bigger issue comes from the East.
- What's the difference between Trump and Hurricane Harvey? One is a storm wreaking havoc across the nation. The other is Hurricane Harvey.
- We all know the devastation caused by Hurricane Harvey And it is time for Hurricane Batman to take the blame for it.
- What did NASA have to say about Hurricane Harvey? *Kzzzzz* Houston, we have a problem.
- Observation: hurricanes lately have hit places that fit their names (Maria/Jose - Spanish speaking Caribbean. Irma - retiree Florida. Harvey - Texas) Conclusion: name all hurricanes "Santa Claus"
- State of Emergency: Circus Fire Rages in Texas, Deadlier than Hurricane Harvey Everyone died
Jk it was intense (in tents) - Hurricane Harvey is not Global Warming!! God is punishing Texas for its iniquity!
Lee Harvey Jokes
Here is a list of funny lee harvey jokes and even better lee harvey puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My work colleagues and I had a debate about who we thought America's most notorious assassin was. Lee Harvey Oswald won by a long shot.
- What do John wilkes booth, lee harvey oswald and kobe bryant have in common? They never miss a shot
- The most shocking info that we'll get from the classified Kennedy documents will be that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't shoot the president, he ate him. Because John F. Kennedy was a berliner.
- Lee Harvey Oswald walks into a bar... and shoots some Jack
- What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common? They both banged JFK
Harvey Wallbanger Jokes
Here is a list of funny harvey wallbanger jokes and even better harvey wallbanger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the favourite drink in Texas right now? Harvey Wallbanger
- What does Harvey Weinstein call his Glory hole? A Harvey Wallbanger
- What do you call a hurricane whose had too much v**...? A Harvey Wallbanger
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Harvey Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about harvey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flint jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harvey pranks.
What did Harvey Dent do after he got out of prison?
He became a dentist...
Anyone hear about the conspiracy theorist who died and went to heaven?
When he arrived, God stated that He grants all His children one question. The man promptly asked, "Who killed Kennedy?" God replied, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald, on the 6th floor, with his own gun, and he acted alone." The man thought for a moment then disappointingly replied "This goes higher up then I imagined."
What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get?
Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
If the voting recount flips the outcome of the election, I have the perfect guy to call Trump and tell him that he's no longer going to be President...
Steve Harvey.
"I have to apologize.....the 1st runner-up, is Trump. The next President of the United States is...Hillary Clinton!"
*DEEP INHALE*
"***WRONG***"
A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven
The first thing he does is ask God, "Who really killed JFK?"
To which God replies, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He acted alone."
The conspiracy theorists thinks to him self for a moment then says, "This cover up of the truth goes even further than I thought!"
Did you know Harvey Dent's a big George Michael fan?
#cos he's got a half face - face - face#
Why did the Mayweather cross the McGregor?
To get to the other Harvey!
Debbie Did Dallas
And then Harvey Did Houston.
How many churches were destroyed during Harvey?
Who cares, I go to Popeye's!
Of all the victims of Harvey....
....I think I feel the most sorry, for the children who had been praying for a swimming pool.
I guess you could say Harvey...
Left a Dent
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
In the original 'Good Will Hunting' script, there is a surprise gay s**... scene between the two straight leads. It was purposely put there as a test to see if studios actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein was the only producer who mentioned the scene
Weinstein said that the s**... scene usually takes place before he approves a movie
Bill Cosby Harvey Weinstein Road Movie
"Fiddlers on the roofies"
What do you call a jew that loves fermented grapes and also rapes?
Harvey Wine-stein
I think that the powerful, elite titans of industry have learned an important lesson from this whole Harvey Weinstein ordeal.
Never hire a board of directors.
What's the difference between a catfish and Harvey Weinstein?
One's a s**...-s**... bottom-dweller. The other's a fish.
Harvey Weinstein was going to do a remake of the movie "Brigham Young"...
He kept referring to it as, "bring 'em young"
Everybody is saying Harvey Weinstein is the worst person in history, but I think they're forgetting that h**... is the worst person in history
I mean if he finished what he started, we wouldn't have to deal with Weinstein
Did you hear about Harvey Weinsteins new job?
He'll water your plants for direct eye contact.
Which movie Harvey Weinstein would have loved to produce?
The Great Gosby
So I was at a film awards event the other night... [n**...]
I was at a film awards event the other night. I went to the toilet and an actress came out a cubicle with a white mark on her dress. I said to her "Oh did you spill some mayo?" and she replied "No its a Harvey Weinstain"😉
Harvey Weinsteins weapon of choice?
The Rapier.
Bill Cosby, Anthony w**... and Harvey Weinstein walk into a bar
Harvey says, "Hey Bill, buy me a drink!"
Bill shouts back, "I don't know what role you're trying to offer me, but let's not involve w**......"
Whats the first thing Harvey Weinstein does after s**...?
Wipes the pepper spray out of his eyes...
What makes Harvey Weinstein and Bill O'Reilly the same?
They both made millions off fictional entertainment.
What do you call a s**... predatious bee?
Harvey Weinsting
What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?
The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious b**....
Bill: Ain't there someone else ya'll should be Weinstein yo' time on?
Harvey: Open bathrobes are just roomy, you know… Spacey.
Kevin: I choose to live as a gay man, so no woman can accuse me of Rattner out.
Brett: Hey, when I see a beautiful woman, I just Singer praises.
Bryan: Move along, no one gives Affleck about me.
Ben: Mine was just a little mistake. You need something at least a Sizemore.
Tom: It wasn't me! It was all Cosby drugs, man!
What's the worst thing you could possibly hear after giving Harvey Weinstein a b**...?
"I'm not Harvey Weinstein"
Do you know why Harvey Weinstein likes to buy cheap screws?
They are the only things he can get to s**...
I really liked Harvey Weinstein's speech about s**... misconduct
It was very touching
February 7, 1938: Harvey Firestone, founder of Firestone Tire and Rubber Company, dies
Leaving his family feeling deflated
What's brown and sticky?
Harvey Price eating a toffee apple.
Turns out that Harvey Weinstein has cancer...
Malignant male-anoma
Harvey Weinstein just turned himself in to the police station:
Police Chief: "I understand your intentions, but please pull up your pants"...
A young boy dreamt of touching the stars.
He grew up and his dream came true. That boys name? Harvey Weinstein.
What's Harvey Weinstein's favourite type of olive oil?
Extra v**....