hart Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious hart puns

Can a woman make a man a millionaire?

Only if he's a billionaire.

Credits to Kevin Hart


I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall.

I thought of having them.

Nails always come in handy.


What is green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on to you from a tree in the jungle?

A snooker table. (Courtesy of Leigh Hart on the Alternative Commentary Collective during the New Zealand v South Africa Cricket World Cup semi-final)


Why is Kevin Hart the opposite of Michael Schumacher?

His life improved after he met the rock.


Kevin Hart and his Wife are expecting their first child together

and its already taller than Kevin.


Kevin Hart is performing in Baltimore tonight.....

Should be a riot :p


I saw Kevin Hart on the street today.

I said "Hey Kevin! Can I get a picture with you?" And he's all like "I'm not Kevin Hart you racist piece of shit." Classic Kevin Hart.


Another knee-slapper by my 8 year old brother.

Which president likes doing laundry?

He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart.


Kevin Hart is so short

He calls Lil Wayne "Wayne"


Iceland is supposed to be cheap

But Joe Hart couldn't save a thing.



"Children," said the teacher, instructing the class in composition, "you should not attempt any flights of fancy; simply be yourselves and write what is in you. Do not imitate any other person's writings or draw inspiration from outside sources."

As a result of this advice Tommy Wise turned out the following composition: "We should not attempt any flights of fancy, but write what is in us. In me there is my stummick, lungs, hart, liver, two apples, one piece of pie, one stick of lemon candy and my dinner."


I found a DVD yesterday of Manchester City saves between 2006-2016. Weirdly it had a Bonnie Tyler sound track.

It was called Totally Clips of Joe Hart.


I love dark humor...

Eddie Murphy, Kevin Hart, Kat Williams, Chappelle


Yo if my son comes home & try's to play with my daughters doll house...

I'm going to break it over his head & say n my voice stop that's gay .
- Kevin Hart


Owen Hart was an incredible lover

He went down faster than you can believe.


Did you hear that Kevin Hart was attacked?

It was a Hart attack


Kevin Hart pick pocketed some of my cash on the way home yesterday.

It was a mild Hart attack.


About to see the new Kevin Hart movie


Did you hear about the awesome new Corey Hart cover of Sunglasses at Night?

By Stevie Wonder.


If Nokia's HQ was in Hartford, what would its slogan be?

Connecticut People.


List of things falling faster than Joe Hart

The British Pound


Being an artist it's not easy...

It's Hart.


What are the most funny Hart jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Hart? Well, here are the best Hart dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Hart pick up lines to share with friends.


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