Harsh Jokes
57 harsh jokes and hilarious harsh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harsh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover why jokes that mock someone's physical features or life situations can be both humorous and harsh. Explore the idea of superiority and resentment, and why they both may be a factor in a joke-teller's choice of humor. Learn what to consider when deciding whether to tell or laugh at a harsh joke, and how to diffuse potentially uncomfortable situations.
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Funniest Harsh Short Jokes
Short harsh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harsh humour may include short hurtful jokes also.
- Wife: "Honey, I think you're a little to harsh to one of our kids." Husband: "Who do you mean? John, Michael or the fat one?"
- Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going" "Band? We thought you said ban"
Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?" - I remember my mother telling me, I have no favorite child. Harsh seeing as I'm an only child.
- What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen!
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Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching. - My 6yo sister asked me to post this joke on social media.. (Don't be too harsh) What was Billy doing in class??
He was billy dancing. - Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight." That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.
- I've been learning to use a new web browser lately, but my teacher is being really harsh to me. He's my Tor-mentor.
- I offered to give my daughter a lift to school. "Come on," said my wife, "she's big enough to take the bus by herself."
I said, "That's harsh. She's not *that* overweight." - Some people think the romans were too harsh in their punishment of jesus but I think they really nailed it.
- My doctor told me quite harshly that I have to quit eating sweets if I want to avoid diabetes He didn't sugarcoat it.
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Harsh One Liners
Which harsh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harsh? I can suggest the ones about brutal and vicious.
- I once told someone my birthday And they called me a cancer, seemed harsh
- Flashing is such a harsh term I prefer spontaneous gender reveal party .
- How did the linguistics professor punish the late student? He gave him a harsh sentence.
- Gravity is a harsh mistress... *... but she has reasonable rates!*
- We shouldn't be so harsh on lawyers. 99% of them are giving all the others a bad name.
- Has the harsh winter turned you into a snow beast? Not Yeti.
- The judge gave me a harsh sentence for stealing that calendar... I got 12 months.
- Why did the professor have such a harsh grading criterion? Cauchy taught math!
- If an indian made a harsh joke.... And u called him savage,
Would he get offended? - What do you call a mean potato Harsh browns
- "m**..." is such a harsh word... I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".
- What do you call a sheep with no parents who is a harsh critic? A lamb-b**....
- Why did the the dad get kicked out of the b**... club? His pun-ishments were to harsh.
Howlingly Hilarious Harsh Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about harsh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harsh pranks.
Rorschach's Joke
I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.
Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!
WALKING DEAD JOKE (Harsh)
I was going to say a compliment about beth but i'm afraid it would go strait to her head.
I run a nonprofit organization that helps keep homeless substance abusers warm during harsh winters.
It's called Snuggies for Druggies
A man is sobbing into his beer...
It being a slow night, the bartender asks him what's wrong and offers him some sympathy.
The man responds "My roommate says I should quit drinking, last night I came home and I blew chunks all over the living room."
"Harsh," the bartender replies, "But that's hardly a reason to quit drinking."
"No man, I blew chunks in the kitchen, I blew chunks on the stairs, I blew chunks in the bathroom, I blew chunks EVERYWHERE."
"I'd hate to agree with your roommate, seeing as how that means less business for me, but maybe he's got a point. That's an awful lot of v**... to have to mop up..."
"No, no, you don't understand," The man sobbed, "Chunks is my Dog."
A Scotsman, an Irishman, and a Welshman enter a bar...
After a lot of fighting and harsh words 3 English-men walk out.
So the woman sitting next to me on a plane with an infant in her lap looks over to me and asks, "do you mind if I breast feed?"
And I respond, "no thanks I already ate." Too harsh of a dad joke?
The Harshest "Yo Mamma" Joke...
Yo Mamma is like a bowling ball...
She likes to get picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, then comes back for more.
How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it."
I noticed Taco Bell cups say "welcome to the after party" on them.
That's a harsh way to tell you that you just got diarrhea.....
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
Rorschach humor
Heard joke once: Man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.
Climate change will decrease fish stocks and have harsh effects on the fisheries industry....
So after Trump pulls out, there will be sea men all over the place.
The other day my friend said that, "its harsh to have Uber drivers drive in heavy rain for you"...
I said, "He's doing it on his own Accord."
They classified a guy I work with morbidly obese which seems a little harsh...
I mean, he has enough on his plate already.
I'm sure my allotment is conspiring against me. Each time that I trim it it grows back twice as harsh..
The plot thickens.
Why are clowns good with money?
Because they're pennywise
Don't be harsh I just came up with that
A man was sobbing next to his ex-wife in the hospital who had just been hit by a bus..
He kept saying "It should have been me... it should have been me" over and over, with tears flowing out of his eyes.
The nurse tried to console him, telling him "Don't be too harsh on yourself. For all you know you couldn't have changed it, even had you been there"
To which he replied : "I guess you're right. After all, I don't even know how to drive a bus"
I think my opponet is hacking
Im in an archery league and my opponent hit 2 bullseyes i think they have aimbot
(P.s please don't be to harsh)
A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.
The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested that the drunk prove he isn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.
As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups.
He looks at him for a minute and then nudges him in the ribs saying, "Hey, Pal, I think your girl friend has gone home."
The Old Man and the Burdensome Load
An old man was tasked with carrying a bundle of sticks from his home to the next town over, and it was a terrible task. The bundle was very heavy, and the journey was many miles through harsh terrain. After many days, he could bear it no longer. His feet were blistered, his t**... was dry, and he was too tired to go on. In his misery, he called for Death.
Death appeared to him, clad in a black robe and carrying his scythe. The old man fell to his knees. "Thank you so much for coming to me in my time of need!" He cried with joy. "You can help me carry these sticks!"
While in the shower this morning ...
My wife walked into the bathroom and said she was "just hanging the towels"
I said it seemed like a harsh sentence.
There was 3 seconds of silence before she laughed.
Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<
Man goes to The Circus of Pagliacci
He doesn't laugh. At the end of the show Pagliacci ask him why he didn't laugh. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Pagliacci says, 'I think you should see a doctor.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But Pagliacci… I am doctor.'
