The Best 68 Harr Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Harr jokes. There are some harr strang jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these harr ford puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Harr Jokes and Puns
Harry Potter has way too many characters...
Even J.K. Rowling has a hard time keeping all the characters straight.
Harry is taking a stroll through the woods....
...when he finds a large hole in the ground. The hole seems ridiculously deep, so Harry takes a small rock and throws it down the hole. Then he listens for the sound of the rock hitting the ground below. He doesn't hear anything, so next he tries a larger rock. Still, no sound. He looks around for something larger, and he finds an old railroad tie. He lifts up the railroad tie and chucks it down the hole. Still no sound.
Then out of NOWHERE, Harry sees a goat charging at him full speed from behind. Harry dives out of the way, then watches as the goat charges strait down the hole.
Harry is sitting there, perplexed, when a farmer approaches Harry and asks
Farmer: "Hey son, you haven't seen a goat around here have you?"
Harry: "Actually, Yes I did! It was the strangest thing, a goat just charged me full speed! I was just able to get out of the way. THEN the goat ran strait down that hole over there" as Harry points to the hole.
Farmer: "That's impossible, I tied that goat to a railroad tie"
So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, right? I guess that's when the books started getting
*dead Sirius*
Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches?
Because they were only a quideach
Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison?
Because he catches all the snitches!
Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
Because he didn't expect-no-patrol-man
How did Harry Potter get down the mountain?
Running!... JK, Rowling.
Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.
There will now be a new Star Wars cast.
Seems like Harrison Ford is really down to earth
Too early?
Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?
because he was flying solo and went look no hans...
What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader?
*A Vader Cadaver*
You can explore harr popular reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean harr hill dad jokes. There are also harr puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?
Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch
Harry Potter wakes up in hospital.
"Welcome back. You've been in a coma for 8 years" says the doctor.
"What happened?" asked Harry
"You ran face first into a wall."
As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts.
My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia.
My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good.
Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the new $20 bill...
Unfortunately those bills will only be worth $12 now.
Now that Harriet Tubman is on the $20 bill
I hear it will only be worth $15.80
Harry Potter is a kind of "whodunnit" book series
and you-know-whodunnit...
Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?
Because they're both cauldron
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
... i can find the door out.
Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?
Because he expecto'd Petronas.
Harry was blind...
... His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater for his birthday. When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.
I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think its a bit unrealistic if you ask me..
I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? How?
Harry Potter joke
Q. Why can't Snape teach Herbology?
A. He can't keep the lilies alive.
How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill?
By walking... jk rolling
How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?
Diagon alley
Why can't Harry Potter distinguish between his best friend and his pot in potions class?
They're both cauldron
Why is Harry Potter better than Jews?
He made it out of the chamber.
What is Harry Potter's philosophy on relationships...
Hit it and quidditch.
What did Harry Potter say when he invaded Afghanistan?
Expected petroleum.
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
By walking.
J.K. Rowling
So they say a Harriet Tubman's face is going on the $20 bill.
Excellent, I can't wait to start using black people as currency again.
How does Harry Potter end an argument when leaving the room?
He slams the Gryffindor.
Harriet Tubman is going to be on the new $20 bill
It's be worth $12
What's Harry Potter's favorite way to go down a hill?
Walking.
J.K Rowling
What does Harry Potter play with when he's bored?
Ginny Weasley's emotions.
What does Harry Potter say when he is trying to squeeze out a poo?
Expellianus.
How does Harry Potter get down a hill?
By walking
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J. K. Rowling
What is Harry Potter's favorite method of getting down a hill?
Walking....
Jk, rolling
How does Harry Potter like to go down hills?
Walking...
J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter's invisibility cloak was very effective for spying on the women of Hogwarts
They never saw him coming.
How does Harry Potter order a drink in Mexico?
Expecto Patrona
I liked the Harry Potter books and movies but...
I just feel like the character Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed.
Why did Harry Potter have to go to Diagon Alley before going to Hogwarts?
He didn't want to be an unwanded guest.
Harry Potter woke up in a hospital.
A little confused he asked "where am I?"
Doctor: "why you were in a coma and just awoke in this fine hospital"
"Why am I in a muggle Hospital?" he mumbled to himself
slightly hearing him the doctor spoke " Son, Take it easy, you ran face first into a wall and have been in a coma for 8 years"
Harry Potter walks into a bar
Because it was on his bedroom window
Harrison Ford just turned up at my AA group.
I've never seen Han so low.
What is Harry Potter's preferred way of getting down an inclined path?
Walking.
.......JK, ROLLING!
What is Harry Potter's favorite new app?
Spellcheck
Harry Potters favorite way of going down a hill is sliding
JK, Rolling
How does Harry Potter go down a hill?
Walking.
JK ROLLINGGG
What is Harry Potter's preferred way to go down a hill?
Sliding.
jk
Rowling.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
**They were past their hexpiration date!**
*I'm so sorry. My 8yo kid asked me to make up a joke and it's SO HARD to craft a joke that's kid-appropriate.*
Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.
He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him.
Congratulations Harry, his boss said. I just wanted to tell you I've been married for 22 years, and I'm sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life.
But, I'm not getting married until tomorrow, Harry said.
Yeah I know, his boss said.
Harry went into the chamber of secrets with his wand.
When he suddenly felt a strange itch.
This girl...
She had Hogwarts.
Harry Potter could make a great mafia boss
He always catches the snitch
I like the Harry Potter books and movies but
I think the character of Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running!
JK.... Rowling
How did harry potter get down the hill?
Walking.
LoL
JK. Rolling.
Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between a cooking pot and his best friend?
They're both cauldron
Did you know that Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill is running?
J.k. Rowling
I liked the Harry Potter books and films but...
I think the character Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed
Harry went to his doctor on Thursday to review his test results. The Doctor told him that he has both good news and bad news.
"Good news is you have 48 hours to live," he said to Harry.
"Bad news is I should have told you on Tuesday.
What did Harry say when the queen asked how black the newborn was?
Just a lilibet
Why couldn't harry potter feel the magic?
Because he was having a dry spell
Why did Harry Potter bring his pig to the vet?
Because it had hog warts
Harry Potter Joke
While assembling a new shelf for the wife she instructed me. "Don't mess up the floor!" So I threw down the flatten box with authority and proclaimed, "Protecto Dafloor'um"
The eye rolls for her and the kids were priceless!
Where did Harry Styles go to school?
Watermelon Sugar High
Did you know Harry Potter can talk to packages?
He speaks parceltongue!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the harr tolkien jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working harr prison piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.