Harold Jokes
30 harold jokes and hilarious harold puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harold that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tired of hearing the same old jokes? Check out this hilarious collection of Harold Jokes - from Healthy Harold to Edith and Robert Geez! Get your funny bone ready for some unique and inventive laughs.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Harold Short Jokes
Short harold jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harold humour may include short carol jokes also.
- Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.. But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast. - The man who rests on his laurels… ….is wearing them in the wrong place.
— Harold Coffin - So Harold said to William, I used to be a King like you, but then I took an arrow to the eye.
- Who was the greatest boxer of all time? Harold The Doc Shipman, he was well known for his deadly jabs.
- Costumer to the waiter: "A compliment to the chef!" Waiter back at kitchen: "You are beautiful, Harold!"
- After Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt went swimming at the beach one day and never returned... ...we named a public swimming pool after him.
(true story) - I once saw Harold Houdini tell jokes during one of his performances. It was a barrel of laughs.
- Why did people think was Harold Godwinson was autistic? Because he wanted the Normies to get out
- George and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.
Share These Harold Jokes With Friends
Harold One Liners
Which harold one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harold? I can suggest the ones about harry and thy.
- "What are the broken condoms doing on the couch?!" "Our children have names, Harold!"
- If Harry Potter was Jewish... Would he be called Harold Spellman?
- Why was Harold Bus always late to work? Because he Mr Bus.
- Mom I'm already 14, can I get a bra? NO Harold!
- Why didn't Dr. Harold Shipman become a boxer instead? He had a deadly jab.
- Why was Harold Shipman not a very good doctor? He kept on losing his patience
- How do I introduce my friend Harold, the Mediterranean meat magician? Gyro wizard, Harry!
- What did the wife say to her husband Harold those are our children not piñatas
- 1066 Harold Godwinson used to be a king until he took an arrow to the eye.
- Mom, I'm 14, when can I finally get a bra? NO, Harold!
Fun-Filled Harold Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about harold you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frank jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harold pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A third-grade science teacher asks her students, "If you could have one substance in the world, what would it be?"
"I would have gold," says Harold. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Harold, "I could sell the gold and buy a fancy car."
"I would have platinum," says Susie. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Susie, "I could sell the platinum and buy two fancy cars."
"I would have hair," says Johnny. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Johnny, "my mom has a tiny s**... of hair between her legs, and you should see all the fancy cars outside our house!!!"
Old Lady: "Harold? What are you doing with my birth certificate at 3 in the morning?"
Old Man: "Oh, I'm just fawning over how beautiful your name is, darling."
Old Lady: "Harold! That is incredibly sweet of you!"
Old Man: "Well, what can I say? I'm incredibly lucky to have married the woman I love, and that she could have such a beautiful name as... uh..."
*squints and looks at paper*
"...Margret."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a dollar for every time somebody called me s**......
I'd have one dollar. Thank you, Uncle Harold!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... joke I just made up...
There was a pair of twins called Harold and Aruld who decided to do a social experiment. Harold would act all nice, polite and friendly, whereas Aruld would act rude, outspoken and brash. They went into a few stores and conversed with some customers and staff, and afterwards a representative went in to ask who, out of the two they preferred. Strangely, Harold didn't get a single vote.
London's a weird place...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... the Irishman arrives at the Gates of Heaven...
...and is greeted by St. Peter. Peter says to p**... "You may enter, p**..., but first you must answer one question."
He then asks p**... "What is the the name of thy Lord?"
p**... replies "Harold."
"Harold?" asks St. Peter, "How did you arrive at that?"
"Oh, it's in the Lords Prayer... Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name".
A man is no longer able to work...
...so his wife decides to walk the streets to pay the bills. She comes home after the first night and says, "Harold, I'm home! Come on, I'm buying breakfast!"
Harold: "Great! How much did you make?"
Wife: "$38.25"
Harold: "Really? Who gave you 25 cents?"
Wife: "Everybody"
