Harmless Jokes
44 harmless jokes and hilarious harmless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about harmless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn the difference between harmless April Fool's jokes and benign practical jokes that don't go too far. Find out which jokes, such as using fake cigarettes or vegun jokes, are harmless as opposed to potentially offensive or even dangerous.
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Funniest Harmless Short Jokes
Short harmless jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The harmless humour may include short harmful jokes also.
- Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
- What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common? They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire
- If a white lie is a harmless lie that doesn't really matter Then does that mean that black lies matter?
- Squirrels are like cigarettes. They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire.
- You know, cigarettes are a lot like Hamsters, Perfectly Harmless.... That is unless, of course, you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
- Cigarettes are just like weasels... Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and set them on fire.
- My daughter said she was scared to be nine I told her not to worry. It's harmless to be nine.
- Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes Completely harmless till you light one on fire and place it in your mouth
- Squirrels are like cigarettes The perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and set in on fire
- How are a cigarette and a hamster alike? Both are completely harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
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Harmless One Liners
Which harmless one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with harmless? I can suggest the ones about unharmed and innocent.
- When is bingo harmless? When its B9!
- Fun Fact: ...5/6 people find Russian Roulette harmless.
- 5/6 people find Russian roulette harmless ... The other 1/6 think it's to die for.
- Friend born without one arm She told me not to be afraid of her, she's harmless
- What's a harmless person's favorite chord? B9
- What did the bingo player shout out when he found out his tumor was harmless? B 9!
- "Let's be having you" is a harmless saying. Unless it's said by a cannibal.
- What type of gun is harmless? A vegun.
- She's totally harmless... The Venus de Milo.
- Why are dad jokes harmless and mom jokes offensive? I'll tell you when you're older
- Hey, are you BB-8? (harmless spoiler) Coz I'd like to fix your antenna ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- m**... It's harmless unless it's yours and it's in a cops hands.
Cheerful Harmless Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about harmless you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean benign jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make harmless pranks.
I got my kid baptized yesterday
Priest: Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?
Me: I do.
Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?
Me: I do.
Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body and life everlasting?
Me: I do
Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any s**... misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?
Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!
Priest: Too late! You said it!
Little Timmy walks in on his parents having s**...
He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad. "Mommy, what are you and daddy doing?" The parents, obvioulsy very embarassed, are trying hard to make up a harmless explanation. "Uhm... I'm a... I'm sitting on daddys tummy to make all the air go out of it... because he's a bit fat..." stutters his mother.
"There's no use in that, mom. The maid always blows the air back in when you're not there"
How do you identify a female? Easy. They're the only ones that hurt you.
Male mosquitoes on the other hand are basically harmless
A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears,
Brown bears are usually harmless. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately.
So how do we know if they're grizzly bear droppings? asks one of the ramblers.
It's easy, replies the ranger. They're full of small bells.
Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes.
They're perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
\- John Branyon
What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
What do a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
A: They are both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.
You've been warned
A stranger enters a store and spots a sign: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep on the floor.
"Is that the dog we're supposed to be aware of?" he asks the owner.
"That's him," comes the reply.
"He doesn't look at all dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?"
"Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
Easily offended people are literally like snowflakes.
Alone, they are harmless. Together, however, they ruin everything good and bad in their way.
Miners to sue a harmless tree-hugger. If you ask me, those miners are just making...
A molehill out of the mountain.
w**... is not harmless.
Think of another drug that causes white guys to grow dreadlocks and become rappers.
Relationships are like onions
They seem harmless on the outside but once you get into it you'll cry.
There once was a man named Larry
Whose stomach detested dairy
He had ice cream
Harmless it seemed
But next afternoon he was buried
Cigarettes are like rats
They are both harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you the humble and inoffensive aardvark, the most harmless animal in existence. As my dad used to say,
aardvark never hurt anyone.
Did you know that the reason Subway no longer serve mushrooms is because of persistent stigma from that whole 'Jared' thing?
....at first everyone just thought he was one of those harmless fungis.
