The Best 32 Harm Jokes

Following is our collection of Harm jokes which are very funny. There are some harm hurtful jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these harm injury puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Harm Jokes and Puns

No harm done.

I got bit on the leg by a sheep today, didn't do too much damage though.

Just grazed the knee.

Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day.

"There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."

If anyone one of my friends made a self harm joke I wouldn't talk to them.

would u cut them?

Harm joke, If anyone one of my friends made a self harm joke I wouldn't talk to them.

Ross's sister had a fear of wind instruments

So Chandler played the drums.

He didn't want to Harm Monica.

My uncle Fred used to say " What you can't hear can't harm you"

*used to*

He was killed by ninjas.


So my friend went duck hunting the other day, but didn't get anything

I told him it was alright. No harm no fowl.

There's no harm in trying

Unless you try to commit suicide,that will suck real bad

Harm joke, There's no harm in trying

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so i killed him before he could cause any harm.

They say there is a murderer in every group

I thought it's jack, so i killed him before he could harm somebody.

For the English

Q: What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary?

A: U.K. ?

Did you hear about that kid that was hit with a metallic water container?

It lead to serious bottle-ly harm.

You can explore harm enjoyment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean harm circumstances dad jokes. There are also harm puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There was a knock at my door.

I said, "Who is it?" and they told me that it was the police. I asked them what they wanted and they said that they wanted to investigate my property for marijuana.

I said, "I haven't got any. Now be on your way."

"Well then," they said, "what harm is there in us checking?"

I said, "Because you might find the cocaine."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

How many white teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb

...none they would rather sit in the dark

(im white teenage and mean no harm in this joke)

If Fifth Harmony was unable to perform at the NHL All Star...

They can still have an option to work from home via satellite.

Cheerios has been giving out seeds to help save the bees but in doing so the seeds have been found to harm certain ecosystems instead.

So wouldn't that make Cheerios a cereal killer?

Harm joke, Cheerios has been giving out seeds to help save the bees but in doing so the seeds have been found t

To people struggling with self harm

Don't beat yourself up over it

Everyone said not to stare at the eclipse but I did anyway...

I don't see any harm in it.

A terrorist walked up to the President and wrote on his forehead with Sharpie. No harm was done...

But it immediately made headlines.


What's Hillary Clinton's favourite musical instrument?

Harm Monica

Serial killers who claim another victim then turn themselves in do more harm then good

A religious monk is approached by a demoness.

She tells him he must choose between three evils:
1. Kill a goat.
2. Drink alcohol.
3. Have sex with her.

Knowing they are all against his good judgment, he decides to do whichever causes the least harm, so he drinks the alcohol.

He then proceeds to kill the goat and have sex with the demoness.

Scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.

It's probably better to just use an ashtray.

A woman and a man are in court...

A woman, named Mrs. Andrews, and a man, named Mr. Roberts, are in court.

Judge: Mr. Roberts, you are guilty of the defamation of Mrs. Andrews, for calling her a pig. From now on, you are not allowed to call Mrs. Andrews a pig.

Mr Roberts: But can I call a pig Mrs. Andrews?

Judge: I see no harm in that, so yes.

Mr. Roberts looks Mrs. Andrews in the eye and says, Hello, Mrs. Andrews.

A Ph Alien's first conversation with a human

"Amino harm, take me to your base!"

Did you hear about the car which caused physical harm to another car?

It got charged with battery.

I punched a white guy at the gas station last week and got arrested for grievous bodily harm...

Punched a black guy in the shopping center today and got arrested for impersonating a police officer...

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could do any harm

Obi-Wan Kenobi was arrested last night

He's being charged with Grievous Bodily Harm

A bee got in our house and I my wife freaked...

She yelled, "get it out but don't harm it". So I got a shot glass and a playing card and carefully trapped and released the little guy out back. When I returned my wife said, "well, what happened? And I replied...

Don't worry. Bee Happy.

But what do I do with the letters?

My psychotherapist once told me that I should write letters to the people that did me harm and then burn them. But what do I do with the letters?

They say that there is a potential murderer in every friend group

I suspected it was Dave so I killed him before he could harm anyone.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the harm remain jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working harm harmful piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes