Hare Jokes
111 hare jokes and hilarious hare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about hare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out these hilarious jokes about rabbits, tortoises, arctic hares, March hares, hare Krishnas, snowshoe hares, and hare lips! Forget about the same old bunny jokes, and dive into this collection of funny jokes about all things hare-related!
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Funniest Hare Short Jokes
Short hare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The hare humour may include short shed jokes also.
- Why did the rabbit suspect his wife was cheating on him? He kept finding different hares in his bed.
- If I ever start to go bald I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare - A man was going bald, so he got rabbits tattooed on to his head. From a distance they looked like hares.
- I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares
- How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray...
(Ill see myself out) - How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? He found a bunch of hares in his bed.
- What does a balding magician have in his hat? Hare.
- Why can't bald people eat rabbits? They don't have hare.
- A rabbit walks into... A hare salon
- I had to stop breeding rabbits... I found it to be a hare raising experience.
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Hare One Liners
Which hare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with hare? I can suggest the ones about hind and host.
- What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.
- What do you call a king's rabbit? The hare to the throne
- What do you call a towel used by a bunny? A hare dryer!
- What do you call a row of bunnies going backwards? A receding hare line.
- What do you call a rabbit that's raised indoors? An in-grown hare!:)
- What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes about springtime? A hare-raising comedian!
- Why was her name Jessica Rabbit? Because of the RED HARE!
- I almost hit a rabbit on my way home last night. Missed him by a hare.
- What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line.
- I ordered rabbit stew but had to return it. There was a hare in my soup
- What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line
- Did you hear about the magician who got angry? He pulled out his hare.
- I've opened up a barber shop for rabbits I do hare cuts, only.
- How did the tortoise win the race? He recruited dudes with some cross-hares.
- Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, "hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."
Rabbit Hare Jokes
Here is a list of funny rabbit hare jokes and even better rabbit hare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Cause it looked like hare from a distance.
- What do you get when a line of rabbits run backwards? A receding hare line
- What do you call two rabbits in a fist fight? Hare knuckle boxing.
- What do you call a 1000 rabbit stepping backwards? A receding hare line!
Tap snare! - I've never been through anything scarier than that time I tried to breed rabbits. It was a hare-raising experience.
- How do rabbits keep their pelts so clean? They have hare supplies.
- I saw a man with a several rabbits on his head today... When I inquired as to why he had rabbits on his head, he simply stated "From a distance they look like hares"
- I don't like eating rabbit I always get hare stuck in my teeth
- I was balding and losing confidence so I had a rabbit tattooed on my scalp. People tell me, from a distance it looks like hare.
- Why didn't the rabbit hunter want to be on TV? Because he was having a bad hare day.
Tortoise And Hare Jokes
Here is a list of funny tortoise and hare jokes and even better tortoise and hare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- In the classic story of the tortoise and the hare, what was the tortoise's name? Winslow.
- What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common? Hare loss.
- What does a priest and a tortoise have in common? They both like to get there before the hare.
- What do Kevin Spacey and a Tortoise have in common? They're both trying to get somewhere before the hare does
- The Tortoise challenged the Hare The Tortoise said race you home!
The Hare began sprinting. The Tortoise retracted into his shell. - How did the tortoise beat the hare? The tortoise was shipped express.
- Why did the frustrated tortoise go to jail? He got a hare cut.
- How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare. - Why did the tortoise get arrested? Because he got there before the hare.
Amusing Hare Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about hare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hoot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make hare pranks.
The most groan-worthy joke in existence...
Q: How do you catch a rabbit?
A: A hare net.
What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?
f**... Hare
Where do rabbits learn to fly?
The Hare Force
There once was a magician who got so angry...
That he pulled out his hare.
I almost hit a bunny
I almost hit a bunny but then i missed it by a hare.
What happens when a magician gets mad?
He rips out his hare!
I used to have a rabbit farm.
It was a hare raising experience.
I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant
and then complain there is a hare in my food.
I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday
It was a hare raising experience.
I cheated in the annual rabbit racing contest.....
I won by a hare
A man was balding very quickly
But he did not want to get a hair transplant nor did he want to take some odd medicine for it. So he decided to tattoo a rabbit on his scalp instead.
A friend of the man asked: "Why would you tattoo a rabbit on your head?"
The man answered: "Because from a distance it looks like hare."
What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards in single file.
Recieding hare line.
What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?
A nice hare cut
The magician got so mad
He pulled his hare out.
What do you call a group of French rabbits running backwards?
A retreating hare line.
A bunny...
It used to be a bunny, but after the dog with rabies bit it, it's rabbit.
*I'll just grab my coat and show myself out now...I know I almost nailed it. Just a hare short of a great joke*
Two Bald Eagles
A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.
He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.
"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.
"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."
A priest and a minister were golfing...
...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.
The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"
And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."
Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.
A joke from my dad
A balding man said to his wife
"I've bought several rabbits for the garden"
Why?
"Well from a distance it'll look like I have lots of hare"
The World's Most Politically Correct Joke
THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE
A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a m**..., a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.
Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.
Q: Have You Ever Eaten Rabbit?
A: No, but I once found a hare in my soup.
What do you call an unborn rabbit?
An ingrown hare.
What did one bush say to another when it got eaten by a rabbit?
Nice hare cut.
How do rabbits stay cold in the summer?
Hare conditioning
How did the rabbit know his wife was having an affair?
He found a hare in his bed.
Why is the sky so dark above Rabbit City?
Because of the hare pollution!
Where can you find flying rabbits?
In the hare force.
What are four hundred Easter bunnies hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
I just got a Bunny from the pet store today, and it already ran away.
I'm suffering from rapid hare loss!
Saw a guy with a rabbit on his face.
Apparently it wasn't a rabbit, it was a f**... hare.
Why do people eat rabbit meat?
Aren't they disgusted by the hare in their food?
What does riding a roller coaster have in common with breeding rabbits?
They are both hare raising.
Met a guy in a bar with a rabbit on his face. What's that? I said..
A f**... hare he replies
My brother has been out of town for a month and I've had to take care of his pet rabbit the whole time.
Let me tell ya...it's been hare raising.
There was once a party for the disabled...
There was once a party for the disabled. A man with a wooden eye sees a women with a hare lip and is instantly attracted. He approaches her and asks if she would like to dance. She enthusiastically replies Would I! Would I! .
So that man replies Hare lip! Hare lip!
Where does a rabbit go for a trim?
To the hare dresser.
A boy came to a restaurant with his dad
Waiter: What would you like to order?
Dad: I'll have the rabbit stew.
Waiter: Ok. Only if you promise not to say ''Waiter, there's a hare in my stew'' after I bring it to you
Dad:
Waiter:
Dad: I'll have the chicken
Restaurant
WAITER: are you ready to order?
DAD: I'll have the rabbit stew
WAITER: only if you promise not to say "waiter there's a hare in my soup" after I bring it
DAD:
WAITER:
DAD: I'll have the chicken
If you ever need to look like you have a beard, glue a rabbit to your face.
And presto-chango, f**... hare!
Eww, Hunter's Stew put me right off my dinner
There was a hare in it.
My friend always has the most ridiculous stories. Yesterday he called me and said he had his hand up a rabbit.
I said, "Get out of hare?!"
What do you call two thousand rabbits running in reverse?
A receding hare line.
What do you call a prince rabbit?
The "hare" to the throne
"Tonight we're eating good" I said to my wife as I walked in the door, "I got us some Himalayan Hare."
"Now where did you get something like that?" She asked.
...
"Well," I explained, "I was walking down the road and I found Him-a-layin' right there!"
A man walks into a restaurant
The waitress asks what the man wants for lunch.
He replies: I'll have the rabbit stew
Waitress: It'll be right out
21 minutes later…
Waitress: Here's your food
Man: sorry but I think there is a hare in my soup
A bald magician pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Then he put the rabbit right on top of his head and gently lowered the hat down over the rabbit until the rabbit was completely covered. After a couple seconds of wearing the hat, the magician quickly lifted the hat back up, and presto!
there wasn't a hare on his head
An old Russian joke about recruitment
A wolf is going around in the forest talking to animals
Bear, you are to come at 2pm to my lair to be eaten
Yes, wolf
Fox, you are to come at 2pm to my lair to be eaten
Yes, wolf
Hare, you are to come at 2pm to my lair to be eaten
I don't want to
Very well, crossing the hare out
