hare Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious hare puns

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

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What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both want to get there before the hare does.

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What does a pedophile and a turtle have in common?

They both wanna get there before the hare does.

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If I ever start to go bald

I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

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What do you call a towel used by a bunny?

A hare dryer!

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What does a pedophile and a tortoise have in common?

They both want to get there before the hare.

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How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray...

(Ill see myself out)

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What do you call many rabbits walking backwards?

A receeding hare line

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The World's Most Politically Correct Joke

THE WORLD'S MOST POLITICALLY CORRECT JOKE

A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a Mormon, a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.

Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.

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Some Religious Truths

TAOISM: Shit happens

ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else

ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says: "Shit happens"

HINDUISM: This shit happened before

CATHOLICISM: If shit happens you deserve it

AGNOSTICS: Facts happen

EVANGELISTS: Send me £8 million or shit will happen to you

BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit

ISLAM: If shit happens it is the will of Allah

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to us?

CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS: Only good shit happens

JEHOVA'S WITNESSES: Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens

Edit : RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit (Thanks u/rakshu)

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How is a pedophile similar to a tortoise?

They both want to get there before the hare.

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I almost hit a rabbit on my way home last night.

Missed him by a hare.

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What do you call a row of rabbits moving backwards?

A receding hare line.

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A priest and a minister were golfing...

...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.

The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"

And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."



Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.

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Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, "hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."

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What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

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I had to stop breeding rabbits...

I found it to be a hare raising experience.

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In the classic story of the tortoise and the hare, what was the tortoise's name?

Winslow.

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What's the difference between a hare and a rabbit?

You can pull a hare out your arse but you can't pull a rabbit.

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What do you get when a line of rabbits run backwards?

A receding hare line

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Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.


He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.

"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.

"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."

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What do you call three rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

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What do you call 400 rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

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What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

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A joke from my dad

A balding man said to his wife
"I've bought several rabbits for the garden"
Why?
"Well from a distance it'll look like I have lots of hare"

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Where can you find flying rabbits?

In the hare force.

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Where do rabbits learn to fly?

The Hare Force

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What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

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The Bear and The Hare...

...were sitting in a bush, having a poo.

'Do you find that poo sticks to your fur?', asked The Bear of The Hare.

'why, yes Bear, actually it does.'

And with that, The Bear picked up The Hare and uses him to wipe his arse.

And that kids, is why you always bring toilet roll on a camping trip

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What do you call a row of rabbits jumping backwards?

A receding hare line.

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Why did Donald Trump lock down the White House when the Easter Bunny was escaping?

because his hare is almost gone.

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What does a priest and a tortoise have in common?

They both like to get there before the hare.

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Saw a guy with a rabbit on his face.

Apparently it wasn't a rabbit, it was a facial hare.

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Q: Have You Ever Eaten Rabbit?

A: No, but I once found a hare in my soup.

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What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

Facial Hare

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What are the most funny Hare jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Hare? Well, here are the best Hare dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Hare pick up lines to share with friends.

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