Hare Jokes

What are some Hare jokes?

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both want to get there before the hare does.

If I ever start to go bald

I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

What do you call a towel used by a bunny?

A hare dryer!

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray...

(Ill see myself out)

The World's Most Politically Correct Joke


A Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a Mormon, a Sikh, a Hare Krishna, a Buddhist, a Pagan, an Atheist, a 3rd wave feminist, a non-binary gender neutral otherkin, a transgender Black Lives Matter activist, a Jehovah's Witness and a Muslim walk into a bar that only serves gluten free, dairy free, eco friendly, carbon neutral, halal, kosher, non GM, fair trade, free range, vegan, recycled water.

Nobody said or did anything and an acceptable time was had by all.

How is a pedophile similar to a tortoise?

They both want to get there before the hare.

I almost hit a rabbit on my way home last night.

Missed him by a hare.

I ordered rabbit stew but had to return it.

There was a hare in my soup

A priest and a minister were golfing...

...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.

The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"

And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."

Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.

I've opened up a barber shop for rabbits

I do hare cuts, only.

Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, "hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

I had to stop breeding rabbits...

I found it to be a hare raising experience.

What do you get when a line of rabbits run backwards?

A receding hare line

In the classic story of the tortoise and the hare, what was the tortoise's name?


Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.

He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.

"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.

"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."

What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

A joke from my dad

A balding man said to his wife
"I've bought several rabbits for the garden"
"Well from a distance it'll look like I have lots of hare"

Where do rabbits learn to fly?

The Hare Force

Where can you find flying rabbits?

In the hare force.

What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

What does a priest and a tortoise have in common?

They both like to get there before the hare.

Saw a guy with a rabbit on his face.

Apparently it wasn't a rabbit, it was a facial hare.

Q: Have You Ever Eaten Rabbit?

A: No, but I once found a hare in my soup.

What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

Facial Hare

How did the rabbit know his wife was having an affair?

He found a hare in his bed.

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards in single file.

Recieding hare line.

A man was balding very quickly

But he did not want to get a hair transplant nor did he want to take some odd medicine for it. So he decided to tattoo a rabbit on his scalp instead.

A friend of the man asked: "Why would you tattoo a rabbit on your head?"

The man answered: "Because from a distance it looks like hare."

What did one bush say to another when it got eaten by a rabbit?

Nice hare cut.

There once was a magician who got so angry...

That he pulled out his hare.

What do you call an unborn rabbit?

An ingrown hare.

The magician got so mad

He pulled his hare out.

The most groan-worthy joke in existence...

Q: How do you catch a rabbit?

A: A hare net.

Met a guy in a bar with a rabbit on his face. What's that? I said..

A facial hare he replies

I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday

It was a hare raising experience.

I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant

and then complain there is a hare in my food.

I cheated in the annual rabbit racing contest.....

I won by a hare

Why is the sky so dark above Rabbit City?

Because of the hare pollution!

How do rabbits stay cold in the summer?

Hare conditioning

What do Kevin Spacey and a Tortoise have in common?

They're both trying to get somewhere before the hare does

Why do people eat rabbit meat?

Aren't they disgusted by the hare in their food?

My brother has been out of town for a month and I've had to take care of his pet rabbit the whole time.

Let me tell ya...it's been hare raising.

What are four hundred Easter bunnies hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

There was once a party for the disabled...

There was once a party for the disabled. A man with a wooden eye sees a women with a hare lip and is instantly attracted. He approaches her and asks if she would like to dance. She enthusiastically replies Would I! Would I! .
So that man replies Hare lip! Hare lip!

I used to have a rabbit farm.

It was a hare raising experience.

What does riding a roller coaster have in common with breeding rabbits?

They are both hare raising.

What do you call a group of French rabbits running backwards?

A retreating hare line.

I almost hit a bunny

I almost hit a bunny but then i missed it by a hare.

I just got a Bunny from the pet store today, and it already ran away.

I'm suffering from rapid hare loss!

A bunny...

It used to be a bunny, but after the dog with rabies bit it, it's rabbit.

*I'll just grab my coat and show myself out now...I know I almost nailed it. Just a hare short of a great joke*

A diner was disgusted to find a hare in his salad

It was already halfway through the lettuce

What did the man say to get the rabbit out of his house?

Get outta hare!

I've finally succeeded in creating a zombie rabbit.

The results are hare raising.

What does a wolf cough up after eating a rabbit?

A hare ball

The Native Indian and the Lone Ranger.

One day the Native Indian and the Lone Ranger are out hunting. It's not long before the Native Indian decides to show the Lone Ranger how his people hunt and so puts his ear to the ground.

"Deer come" says the Native Indian, and not a second later a deer comes bounding through the grass past them. The Lone Ranger is obviously impressed and asks how he did it. The Native Indian taps the side of his nose.

Not long after the Native Indian puts his ear to the ground and says "Hare come", and not a second later a hare bounds out of the bushes past them. The Lone Ranger, once again impressed, asks how he does it. The Native Indian looks at him knowingly.

After a few minutes of walking the Native Indian once again puts his ear to the ground and says "buffalo come". But no buffalo appears. The Lone Rangers asks the Native Indian if he's sure. The Native Indian replies
"Yes. Ear is sticky".

How can a rabbit have babies with a fish?

It's a hare roe-ing tail

What do you call a rabbit that gets under your skin?

An ingrown hare.

I spent a summer working on a rabbit farm.

It was a hare raising experience.

A little girl, who is a cancer patient, walks into a local pet store...

...and the little girl asks to the owner who was sitting near the front desk, "Do you guys sell rabbits here?" The owner responds with, "Sorry, but we don't have anymore rabbits. However, we sell hare if you would like some?"

How to make Hare jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Hare to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Hare? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Hare pick up lines to share with friends.

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