The Best 60 Hare Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Hare jokes. There are some hare krishna jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hare partridge puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Hare Jokes and Puns

The most groan-worthy joke in existence...

Q: How do you catch a rabbit?

A: A hare net.

How is a pedophile similar to a tortoise?

They both want to get there before the hare.

What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

Facial Hare

Hare joke, What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

Where do rabbits learn to fly?

The Hare Force

There once was a magician who got so angry...

That he pulled out his hare.

Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, "hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."

What happens when a magician gets mad?

He rips out his hare!

Hare joke, What happens when a magician gets mad?

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both want to get there before the hare does.

What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common?

Hare loss.

I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant

and then complain there is a hare in my food.

I was in an elevator with the Easter bunny yesterday

It was a hare raising experience.

You can explore hare warren reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hare tortoise dad jokes. There are also hare puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray...

(Ill see myself out)

I cheated in the annual rabbit racing contest.....

I won by a hare

A man was balding very quickly

But he did not want to get a hair transplant nor did he want to take some odd medicine for it. So he decided to tattoo a rabbit on his scalp instead.

A friend of the man asked: "Why would you tattoo a rabbit on your head?"

The man answered: "Because from a distance it looks like hare."

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards in single file.

Recieding hare line.

I had to stop breeding rabbits...

I found it to be a hare raising experience.

Hare joke, I had to stop breeding rabbits...

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

The magician got so mad

He pulled his hare out.

What do you call a group of French rabbits running backwards?

A retreating hare line.

If I ever start to go bald

I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare

What does a priest and a tortoise have in common?

They both like to get there before the hare.

Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.

He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.

"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.

"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."

A priest and a minister were golfing...

...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.

The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"

And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."

Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.

A joke from my dad

A balding man said to his wife
"I've bought several rabbits for the garden"
"Well from a distance it'll look like I have lots of hare"

Q: Have You Ever Eaten Rabbit?

A: No, but I once found a hare in my soup.

What do you get when a line of rabbits run backwards?

A receding hare line

In the classic story of the tortoise and the hare, what was the tortoise's name?


What do you call an unborn rabbit?

An ingrown hare.

What did one bush say to another when it got eaten by a rabbit?

Nice hare cut.

How do rabbits stay cold in the summer?

Hare conditioning

How did the rabbit know his wife was having an affair?

He found a hare in his bed.

What do Kevin Spacey and a Tortoise have in common?

They're both trying to get somewhere before the hare does

Why is the sky so dark above Rabbit City?

Because of the hare pollution!

Where can you find flying rabbits?

In the hare force.

What do you call a towel used by a bunny?

A hare dryer!

What are four hundred Easter bunnies hopping backwards?

A receding hare line.

Saw a guy with a rabbit on his face.

Apparently it wasn't a rabbit, it was a facial hare.

Why do people eat rabbit meat?

Aren't they disgusted by the hare in their food?

I almost hit a rabbit on my way home last night.

Missed him by a hare.

What does riding a roller coaster have in common with breeding rabbits?

They are both hare raising.

Met a guy in a bar with a rabbit on his face. What's that? I said..

A facial hare he replies

My brother has been out of town for a month and I've had to take care of his pet rabbit the whole time.

Let me tell's been hare raising.

I've opened up a barber shop for rabbits

I do hare cuts, only.

There was once a party for the disabled...

There was once a party for the disabled. A man with a wooden eye sees a women with a hare lip and is instantly attracted. He approaches her and asks if she would like to dance. She enthusiastically replies Would I! Would I! .
So that man replies Hare lip! Hare lip!

I ordered rabbit stew but had to return it.

There was a hare in my soup

I was balding and losing confidence so I had a rabbit tattooed on my scalp.

People tell me, from a distance it looks like hare.

Why can't bald people eat rabbits?

They don't have hare.

A boy came to a restaurant with his dad

Waiter: What would you like to order?

Dad: I'll have the rabbit stew.

Waiter: Ok. Only if you promise not to say ''Waiter, there's a hare in my stew'' after I bring it to you



Dad: I'll have the chicken


WAITER: are you ready to order?

DAD: I'll have the rabbit stew

WAITER: only if you promise not to say "waiter there's a hare in my soup" after I bring it



DAD: I'll have the chicken

If you ever need to look like you have a beard, glue a rabbit to your face.

And presto-chango, facial hare!

My friend always has the most ridiculous stories. Yesterday he called me and said he had his hand up a rabbit.

I said, "Get out of hare?!"

A rabbit walks into...

A hare salon

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line.

What do you call two thousand rabbits running in reverse?

A receding hare line.

What do you call a prince rabbit?

The "hare" to the throne

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Cause it looked like hare from a distance.

Did you hear about the magician who got angry?

He pulled out his hare.

What do you call a rabbit that's raised indoors?

An in-grown hare!:)

What does a balding magician have in his hat?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hare rabbit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hare carrot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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