The Best 95 Hardest Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Hardest jokes. There are some hardest easiest jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these hardest harder puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Hardest Jokes and Puns

This week in DC, Mark Zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable.

He's explaining Facebook to old people.

What's the hardest part about eating a vegtable?

The wheelchair.

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

What's the hardest number to say?

... 70 because after 69 your mouth's full.

jokes about hardest

What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

My Cousin's Wedding Night

On my cousin's wedding night he approached our grandfather and asked, "Pap, you and gram have been married for 56 years. Can you give me any advice on my wedding night?"

My grandfather responded, "take the hardest thing you got and put it where she pees."

My cousin thought for a moment and then asked, "why would I put my bowling ball in the toilet?"

Hardest job in the world is being a

Police sketch artist in China.

Hardest joke, Hardest job in the world is being a

What's the hardest part about being black and jewish?

Having to rob your own banks.

What's the hardest part about eating a brownie?

Having to face her parents at the sentencing.

"Do you know what the hardest part of the night is?" asked the taxi driver.

"Is it his shield?" I asked.

What's the hardest part of rollerblading?

Telling your parents you're gay.

You can explore hardest slowest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean hardest succeed dad jokes. There are also hardest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A man was being chased in the woods by a lion who was going to eat him...

He ran his hardest, but the lion was advancing quickly. Just as it looked like the end for him, he decided on a last ditch effort. Being Catholic, he looked to the sky, dropped to his knees, and desperately prayed. "Lord!" he exclaimed. "Make this lion a Christian!" Instantly the lion pressed his paws together and prayed "For this meal in which I am about to partake..."

What's the hardest part about rollerblading?

Telling your parents you found a place that still sells rollerblades.

What's the hardest thing about eating baby vegetables?

Convincing the nurse that you're from the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

The thing about ice skating ...

No matter how good you are, the hardest part is always your nipples.

What are the four hardest years of a police officer's life?

The first grade.

Hardest joke, What are the four hardest years of a police officer's life?

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

What's the hardest thing about riding a scooter?

Telling your parents you're gay

What do you call a group of disabled people in a pool?

Vegetable soup.

I apologise to those offended by my terrible joke. Have another;

Whats the hardest part of cooking a vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair into the oven

Do you know what the hardest part of rollerblading is?

Telling your father you are gay.

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

finding enough protein to get the energy you need to tell everyone you have ever met that you are a vegan.

Do you know what's the hardest about being a narcissist?

Well, when I'm looking in the mirror, me.

What's the hardest part of being a gay black cop?

The discrimination.

Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to.....

They are always in denial.

What's the hardest part of skydiving?

The ground!

Hardest joke, What's the hardest part of skydiving?

I vacationed at a nudist colony this past summer...

the first few days were the hardest.

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

Holiday sex is the best sex ever.....

That was the hardest postcard from my wife to read!

What's the hardest thing about becoming a lawyer in Ireland?

Passing the bar.

I got a call from my ex crying and telling me she was HIV+

The hardest part is always having to act surprised.

What is the hardest part about firing a black man?

Waiting for him to show up.

Know what's the hardest thing about having sex with a Japanese girl?

Trying to find an octopus at 11PM.

My ex just called me, sobbing on the phone to tell me she has AIDS and I should get checked.

The hardest part is acting surprised.

People say the hardest part of the first date is the first kiss.

No idea what they mean, the hardest part of my first date was getting her to take the sleeping pills.

What is the hardest thing to do after starting a family?

Ending them.

the hardest part about hitting a child in public...

is avoiding getting caught by their parent's.

What's the hardest part when your ex tells you she is HIV positive

Trying to act surprised.

What's the hardest thing about skydiving?

The ground.

What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?

Having to swallow your pride.

What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

Skinning the vegan.

Volkswagon were pretty dumb to name one of their cars 'Golf'

Why name a car after a slow and boring sport where the hardest part is driving

What's the hardest part about an ex saying they're HIV positive?

Trying to act surprised

What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS?

Acting surprised

A friend of mine jointed a nudist camp last week

he said the first day was the hardest.

What is the hardest part about roller skating?

Telling your parents that you're gay

What's the hardest tea to swallow

Reality

Elton John thinks that "sorry" seems to be the hardest word.

He clearly hasn't been to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

A blonde is working on a puzzle...

She calls her husband over and says, "This is the hardest jigsaw puzzle I've ever seen in my whole life!"

The husband responds, "What do you mean, honey?"

She says, "Well there's a picture of a tiger on the box, but looking at all these pieces, I don't see how in the world this is going to ever make picture of a tiger."

The husband says, "That's alright honey, let's just put all the cereal back in the box."

What's the hardest part of going vegetarian?

Giving up cold turkey

What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right

What's the hardest thing in the world?

Putting it in soft.

Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base?

The Headless horseman

Louis C.K. is the hardest working comedian in the business

He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.

What was the hardest thing for Louis CK when he had to leave his disrespectful kids home alone?

Getting someone to watch his little jerks.

I have the hardest time with numbers divisible by 2.

I can't even.

What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

What's the hardest part about getting twenty one year olds drunk?

Slipping the booze into their baby bottles without the parents noticing

What's the hardest part about reading a Veterinarian book?

Putting it down

What's the hardest food to stop eating?

Cold turkey

What's the hardest part about drag racing?

Running in heels.

Say what you want about Putin but he's the world hardest working president,

He has to run two countries instead of one.

I recently joined a nudist colony.

The first few days were the hardest.

The hardest part about my grandmothers death?

Making it look like an accident.

The Hardest Day of my Life Was When Our Interior Design Class Went Camping.

It was pretty in tents.

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."

The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.

"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

What's the hardest part about having Alzheimer's?

What's the hardest part about having Alzheimer's?

What is the hardest thing about being in Hypochondriacs Anonymous?

Admitting that you don't have a problem.

Do you know what the hardest job in the world is?

Being a straight guy with lisp trying to sell peanuts.

What's the hardest thing for an alcoholic law student to do?

Pass the bar

Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist Colony?

The first day was his hardest

The three hardest things to say to someone

1- I was wrong

2- I don't know

3- Worcestershire Sauce

Do you know what the hardest thing about having a 10 second memory is?

I don't know, but do you know what the hardest thing about having a 10 second memory is?

Which is the hardest for you to say?

Which is the hardest for you to say?

1. I love you

2. I was wrong

3. I am sorry

4. I need help

5. Worcestershire Sauce

6. I appreciate you

What's the hardest part of being a vegan?

Keeping it to yourself...

A mosquito landed on my balls

Hardest decision of my life.

Why are redneck cases the hardest to solve ?

Because all of the DNA matches and there are no dental matches.

What's the hardest part about eating a clock?

It's time consuming

The 3 hardest things to say:

I was wrong.

I need help.

Worcestershire Sauce

The hardest thing about being bisexual

Is trying to remember if I'm suppose to have sex twice a week, or once every two weeks.

People say the first year of marriage is the hardest

Trust me, the last year is way, way harder.

The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest.

The rest are e-z.

I decided to become vegan today

The hardest part is quitting cold turkey.

I'm teaching my Grandson the alphabet at the moment, starting with the hardest first four letters..

..the rest is just e-z

What is the hardest thing about sleeping with a blind woman?

Matching her husband's voice.

I recently joined a nudist colony

The first week was the hardest.

My 9 year old just told me this one and I had to share. What's the hardest part about learning to ride a bike.

The pavement.

A man was at a job interview

The boss asked, How do you preform under pressure?

The man said, Well I try my hardest but I always end up singing Ice Ice Baby

What's the hardest working angle in geometry?

A triangle

Which tea is the hardest to swallow?

Reality

What is the hardest way to lose 6-14 pounds?

Having a baby!

Happy Mother's Day!

It is said regarding motivation that the first step is always the hardest …

As someone with plantar fasciitis, I could not agree more.

What is the hardest thing to sleep on?

Bedrock

The elder statesman was giving his farewell speech.

"And when I die, bury my head in Central Pennsylvania, for that was where I had my brightest ideas. Bury my hands in Washington, D.C., for that was where I accomplished the most work. Bury my feet on the West Coast, for that was where I ran the hardest."
Just then, a journalist interrupted, "Sir, where should we bury your ass? Because you've made the whole country a shithole!".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the hardest rudest puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working hardest steep piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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